Saturday, June 10, 2017

When the toilet paper faces the wrong way, get mad, or...




The age-old argument about which way a roll of toilet paper faces is a great metaphor for life.  A lot of people sit on their rear ends and gripe about circumstances they could change, if they weren't so busy complaining about what everyone else does wrong.

Also, if you are complaining about which way the TP is facing, then obviously you aren't changing too many rolls yourself.  It's ironic that the people who complain the loudest  in life are usually the most passive.

And, just like many circumstance in life, if you don't like which way the TP is facing, you don't need permission to fix it.  People act like they need permission to change or make changes for the better, and until that mindset changes, TP is the least of your problems.

Friday, June 2, 2017

Have we normalized Suicide & will "13 Reasons why" prevent or promote more teen-suicides?





Short of Jesus Christ’s return, each of us will die.  That alone is a sobering thought, but to think some people will take their own life is incomprehensible for most.  If you’ve ever lost a loved one to suicide, I’m truly sorry and you have my deepest condolences.  

Death is inevitable and we wonder why anyone would want to hurry the process along, especially since most people spend their entire lives trying to avoid death/prolong their lives.  Perhaps this basic “desire to thrive” is why suicide is so hard to understand.

Why do people take their own lives?  The reasons are as unique as the people who end their lives, but one reason seems common to all, they didn’t see any other solution for the pain or problem they faced.  I don’t know of anything more heartbreaking than the recent story that’s still making news of an 8 year old boy in Cincinnati, Gabriel Taye, who hung himself back in January after being bullied.  

Northeast Tennessee isn’t immune to suicide.  Recently, our region has seen a spike in the number of teen suicides.  People are concerned about what some see as an encouragement to take one’s life, allegedly from watching a Netflix series, a series that is already going into its second season.  If you haven’t seen the series or heard of it, I’m fairly confident all of the younger people in your life have.  

The Netflix series that’s putting the spotlight on this taboo topic is “13 Reasons.”  With all of the hype surrounding this series, I decided to watch “13 Reasons” for myself to draw my own conclusions.  My concern, going into watching the show, was that the series would romanticize suicide.  In my opinion, “13 Reasons” is raw, explicit, and at times disturbing, yet it’s well produced and both the script and acting are believable.  And, after watching the entire first season, I do not think at all that “13 Reasons” promotes or glamorizes suicide in the least bit.  

This is not to say the show is for everyone.  “13 Reasons” is really well done and the story works, but if you or a loved one were contemplating suicide I don’t know if the show would be the healthiest thing to watch.  Even though the show isn’t pro-suicide, the mere visual example might possibly normalize the process in the minds of someone struggling with it (There is a graphic suicide scene in an episode).

Also, there are several real-life topics, which teens face, that are covered in the series besides suicide.  Some of the content will seem extremely inappropriate, like for example the gratuitous use of foul language in every episode.  Or other subjects which are sprinkled through the series that will simply make you feel uncomfortable viewing, such as teen sex/rape, teen drinking, bullying, drug use, mean people conspiring in cliques, and a disconnect between the everyday lives of teens and adults.

Still, if suicide isn’t a personal struggle and if you have young people in your life or if you are an educator or in youth ministry, you might consider setting aside your “viewing standards” for the sake of being in touch with the lives of the young people for whom you care about, who by the way are already watching and discussing this series.  By the way: This show is also a valuable tool for gaining insights into contemporary youth culture.  

If you are completely unfamiliar with the show, the plot of “13 Reasons” is built around an audio recording from a young girl who takes her life before the first episode, and the fallout in the aftermath of her suicide.  She recorded the cassettes, listing her thirteen reasons why she ended her life prematurely, and the cassettes are to be listened to by the people who contributed, in one way or another, to her decision.  The “real-time” plotline of each episode is overlapped with flashbacks to when the young girl was still alive, weaving “present time” with the narration of the young girl chronicling her high school career and the tragedies she faced that ultimately led to her choice to commit suicide -- in one of the episodes they do show her slitting her wrists in a bathtub.




Between mainstream media and music and movies, suicide seems more and more “normal” and it is a ranking cause of death for young Americans.  The top three causes of death among teens are, #1. Motor vehicle accidents, #2. Homicide, and #3. Suicide.  The CDC says annually in America there are 14 suicides for children 10 and under, and about 1,400 suicides for children 11-18 years of age.  And, these numbers are increasing.  

These numbers do not reflect the multitudes of failed attempts either (there are approximately 575,000 teen suicide attempts annually).  Neither do these statistics cover the many college students who end their lives as they consider the overwhelming challenges they’ll face after college.  If you increase the age group past 18, up to to 24 years of age, the suicide rates jump to 4,600 a year (total for 11-24 yrs of age).  Facing too many pressures, insecurities, uncertainties, and seemingly insurmountable obstacles to success, while it’s not acceptable or excusable it is clear more and more young people seek suicide as a way out.  

Even without a fictional show like “13 Reasons,” young people are exposed to other examples, there are celebrities who frequently make the national news after taking their lives, there are relatives who have taken their lives, and chances are the young people in your life have known someone who has taken their own life.  Silence, regarding this topic, on the part of adults isn't a viable method to tackle this topic.  

You may be uncomfortable discussing suicide, both its prevention or results, but there are a lot young people talking about it.  It seems like pop-culture has a way of bringing fringe topics into the mainstream, and this is exactly what “13 Reasons” is doing, it’s getting people talking.  Young people probably need mature adults to guide the conversation....

I’m not able to provide solutions or answers to suicide in this post -- I’m sorry if this disappoints you.  I am hopeful less people will bury their heads in the sand and more adults will engage our culture and our young people as they navigate the tumultuous, confusing, and often heartbreaking years of high school.  Ignoring this problem won’t make it go away.  


Sunday, May 28, 2017

Why the movie Alien Covenant matters



Science fiction is rarely about Science or mere fiction.  Not to say the technology or gadgetry in sci-fi is supposed to be authentic or workable or that the stories are meant to be taken literal, but, the underlying themes woven within many Sci-fi plots are often telling.  Alien Covenant follows seamlessly in the path of Prometheus , both of which are great movies.  Again, the next plot line in the series raises great questions about creation-creators, our place in the universe, and what are our origins.

What I like about these particular movies is the space given to both the idea of Faith and to Science.  I don't think reason, logic, or science are enemies to faith in the supernatural, and in fact I think we learn much more about the supernatural and its possibilities through science than we do without exploring science.   Though Prometheus was more faith-friendly and treated the faith-character with more respect than Covenant does, there is still room given to explore both ideas of having faith and merely trusting in science.

Perhaps Science can tell us the "how's" to much of creation, but it science can't pretend to tell us the "why's" or what the end results are going to be.  Foundational-purpose and meaning aren't tested in a lab or deciphered with an equation.

What Alien Covenant adds to the "Alien" project, is the unpredictable element of AI, Artificial Intelligence.  Not that a "synthetic" human is new to the movie series, but the new question which is raised loud & clear is, Can we trust our own creation, what will the future of AI be?  That is the big question of the Alien series, and it's probably not just for Sci-fi anymore.

Friday, May 5, 2017

Why would anyone want to "Make the world a better place"




Can we really make the world a better place, why do we think can, and what makes us think we should even try to make the world better?  Most graduations this month will include some young, bright-eyed rising-star who will boldly stand behind a podium emblazoned with their school’s seal, and with great passion, with an emotion filled plea, they will say what borders upon a cliché, “It’s up to our generation to go out from here today, and make the world a better place tomorrow...” 

Certainly, this desire to make the world a better place isn’t only for young.  I think many politicians (at least maybe early on in their careers) share these ambitions too.  Most people who are in a serving or caring industry certainly seem to want to make the world better for those they are caring for.  

But still, is it possible to make this world better?  Why do we think we can improve the world?

There’s a problem with many of our improvements, they usually are shortsighted, and, they create some collateral damage along the way.  When we tinker in one area, we usually disrupt another.  Often times, our mistakes are revealed only by those who follow us in a later generation, and their solutions to resolve our problems, well, they establish yet another set of difficulties for those who will follow them.

It’s kind of like solving problems with the H-Bomb, which was supposed to peacefully end World War 2, but look at what nuclear armament has done to us in the years since.  Is the world safer or more peaceful since the advent of nuclear weapons?

It’s not that we are inherently evil or bent on making mistakes, but we seem to perpetually generate more and more chaos as time goes on.  Progress, whatever that may look like in your eyes, is a moving target, and we seem to miss the target more than we hit it.

It’s one thing to want to make the world a better place, it’s another to realize or ignore our limitations.  Perhaps, our inability to recognize we are imperfect is hindering our path forward.  Imperfect people will hardly be able to create perfection, or achieve some sort of Utopia, yet, most public figures promise “results” are within reach.

I want to be optimistic and I want to see pain alleviated, poverty stricken down, hunger eradicated, health improved, and peace between all people to be reached.  Have you noticed though, with every effort and with each generation, we are left with more problems and greater strife?  

I think there’s a reason we long for a better world.  I think instinctively we all, religious, believers, atheists, and disbelievers alike, I think we know without being told we come from Eden.  I think it’s hardwired in our inner beings to know we weren’t created for this present world which is filled with hatred, evil, and death.  Just like no one has to tell the Monarch butterfly to migrate, no one has to tell us to search for a Promised Land.  

So what gets in the way of us reaching perfection?  We have personal agendas, we’re envious, we hold grudges, we have pride issues, we have a hard time cooperating with others, we are judgmental, suspicious, and we think we are smarter than we are.  But beyond that, we are in a fallen world that is infested with evil, we are in a realm that is under the sway of and held captive by the demonic.  As John writes in I JN 5:19, “We know that we are from God, and the whole world lies in the power of the evil one.”

We can’t afford to give up, yet we are facing impossible odds to overcome.  And on top of this, Scriptures seem to allude to the idea that things will go from bad to worse as time goes on.   So what should we do?  Hunker down and circle the wagons till the Cavalry rescues us?  Seclude ourselves from the world and hide in cloistered monasteries?  

I think we would be better served acknowledging where the real battle lies, as in what is revealed in Eph 6:12, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”  And, we’d be better served not trying to face this spiritual battle on our own strength or by our own methods.  

Will this world be a better place someday?  Maybe not until Christ returns.  Can we create a little heaven here on earth in the meantime?  Jesus didn’t instruct us to riot, boycott, protest or fight, or debate everyone on Facebook... instead, He indicated we ought to pray something like, “Your will be done, your Kingdom come, on earth as it is...” and He said something about treating others as we’d like to be treated, and, He said to love our neighbors just like we love ourselves.  I’d say starting along these lines should give us a fighting chance.  


Thursday, April 20, 2017

When you grieve over a prodigal child




Have you ever been heartbroken by, or disappointed in one of your children?  Have any of your kids messed up, maybe they even embarrassed you in the process?  Did they run away, come home with an embarrassing/bizarre tattoo, experiment with drugs, stay out way too late with a boyfriend/girlfriend, wreck their car, maybe they called home for bail?  Did they ever tell you they didn’t believe in your God anymore?  

It hurts whenever our children exhibit behaviors that contradict their upbringing.  It can be devastating when a child you’ve raised pursues a divergent path.  During such dark times, it feels like the pain will never dissipate, and the future seems hard to navigate.  

One of the greatest mysteries in this life is how godly parents sometimes raise ungodly young adults.  You try your hardest, you do “everything right,” and in the end, some children reject everything you ever taught them.  It simply doesn’t make sense how some of the nicest, most faithful believers can have problems with their children.  

Nothing can be more painful for parents than watching, helplessly, as their children make choices that carry devastating consequences.  What can we do as parents when our children take a different path than the one we hoped for?  

This isn’t the time to make it about you.  If your child is on a self-destructive path, or simply slips up a little, that’s not the time to tell your child about how their actions are reflecting poorly on your reputation.  Chances are, they want to develop their own individuality/identity, and this time of acting-out reinforces they don’t care about your reputation anyway.  Besides, what are you really concerned about, in the big picture, what’s more important here, your image or their well-being?  

This isn’t a time to seclude yourself either.  Surround yourself with close friends who will support you spiritually and emotionally.  God put certain people in your life for a reason, trust in them, lean on them.  You might be surprised to find out they’ve been through some very similar situations with their own children too.  

This also isn’t the time to lock yourself in the basement until the storms of life clear up.  Go on a mini-vacation, get away for a day or two, and distance yourself from the situation so you can think clearly.  When we are anxious our ability to think rationally diminishes drastically; you need to relax and unwind so you can think logically.   

This isn’t a time to give up.  Don’t lose hope.  Keep praying.  Everyone has within themselves the potential to change.  Prov 22:6 isn’t a promise that your kids will never make mistakes or they will always be faithful, but it is a truism that when you lay the right foundation your kids will have a more stable future and a heritage to fall back on when they need it most, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

This isn’t a time to build walls or lock the door.  Don’t punish them forever.  Reality and consequences can often be punishment enough.  Will you need boundaries?  You’ll know, or your close friend will tell you.  The point here is trust in your children, that they can “come to their senses.”  Keep a lifeline open so when the time is right, you can welcome your prodigal home.

This is a time to reflect on your relationship with God.  Think about how you have, in your own ways and in other times, let Him down. No, I’m not talking about your parenting style, I’m not saying you failed as a parent and this is why your kids messed up.  I’m talking about you when you blew it in general.  How did you want Him to respond when you sinned, when you rebelled against His will, when you disappointed God?  You wanted grace.  You wanted redemption.  You wanted His acceptance and unconditional love -- therefore give away to others what you wanted most and let God be your example, not your excuse.  


Wednesday, April 19, 2017

The unforeseen problem when states offer free college tution


I think the free two-year college tuition Tennessee offers has been great, in fact one of our sons is currently benefiting from it.  Now, Tennessee is offering free two-year tuition to adults as well, which I think is wonderful too.  Recently I heard New York is offering free four year college tuition to their residents.  Personally, I have no issue with states offering free college tuition, but I see a problem just around the bend.

I'm not a Socialist, not by any stretch, but I'm glad to see the shift towards free State college coming about.  Free college really makes sense, in a society that provides K-12 education already.  The problem with free college isn't, "Where will the money come from?"  Tennessee has shown, successfully, that their lottery proceeds can be utilized quite well to cover these costs.  What could be wrong then with free college?

Again, I'm in favor of free college, such as what we have here in Tennessee, and I hope as many people as possible will take advantage of this, so this post isn't a rant against free college.  But, I do see a serious problem when higher-education is free.  Namely, we as a society will eventually devalue a college education if it's free.

Only a generation ago, you could do well supporting your family with a high school diploma, but in the last few decades, better paying jobs required a Bachelor's degree and we've seen that shift to where now often times a Graduate degree is becoming a necessity.  Making college free will only exacerbate this trend.

It's basically a supply & demand issue and a perception problem.  When more people are able to enter the workforce with college degrees, there's more competition for the same positions, thus giving employers more leverage.  And, we tend to place value not only on the education which is received in college, we also value a college education because of the cost of the education itself.  Free degrees will not carry the same clout in the minds of the masses.  Therefore, when you add these factors together, it seems like in a few years a Bachelor's degree will be viewed no differently than a high school diploma is viewed today.

I doubt I have an answer as to "now what?" or how to avoid free college from being devalued in the minds of most people.  But, I'm still in favor of states offering free tuition.

So, my suggestion to the people being blessed by free college degrees is the same advice I've given to freshman college students for years: Do well in your studies and get good grades so you can shoot for a good scholarship and make it into a Graduate program of your choice.  Effort and hard work are rewarding, and no one can take your education away from you, so soak up all of the free education you can and go out and make a difference in the world around you.

 




Wednesday, April 12, 2017

United Airlines and our inability at Recognizing Failure For What it is


My Iphone crashed this morning after downloading the latest software update.  I can't get into the Sprint Store until 10:00 a.m. (who opens a business that late?!?!?!?), so as I look through Facebook this morning, the above meme is everywhere, I mean everywhere.  Yes this picture made me laugh, and I can appreciate the gallows's humor in it.  Still, to me, if you think this issue is about United Airlines, you are mistaken.

Okay, I'm old enough to remember when people died from the Tylenol poisonings.  I also remember the mess the Catholic church was in after the mass molestations of young boys was mainstream news.  Point being: For everyone to lay the blame of the forced removal of the Asian doctor at the feet of the entire organization of United Airlines, or for people to say they'll never fly that airline again (and I could care less what airline you choose, I don't think I've ever flown United) is ridiculous.

Let me try to say this another way, we all still take pain-relievers, even though people died taking Tylenol, and most believers still attend church even though there were sick perverted warped people preying on young boys.  Though I imagine for those young boys and their families, religion will be forever tainted.

United isn't the first and they won't be the last to have their image tarnished though an embarrassing event like this.  But I think this whole thing reflects more on us as a society than it does any single company or organization.

I think the United removal of a passenger is being way-over-exaggerated, and though it's entertaining to poke fun at the faceless corporation United, we all need to take a step back.  Stupid people make bad choices, and the employees that forcibly removed that passenger have no excuse for their actions.  They were idiotic and their actions are inexcusable, and those are the people we should focus on.  I don't even know their names, and I doubt most people do.  

I hardly think it's fair United's stock plunged 1 billion dollars over the actions of a few poorly trained employees.  I think someone should have suffered the consequences for this idiotic incident, but that would be the people the who did the removal and their immediate supervisors who trained them.  But the whole organization?  Come on!  Think about it.

I could care less if United fails over this, and I'll be laughing at the Negan memes for days to come.  But, I do care that we as a culture jump on the bandwagon that major corporations are always evil and must be to blame when things go wrong.  I say make the individuals responsible for this accountable, make them pay the consequences, and be fair to those who aren't directly involved.

Yet, in a culture that's lawsuit-happy and always looking for someone in the boardroom to lynch, this is a hard sell.  If this is where we end up, perpetually blaming the entire organization for the actions of a few, hammering those who are further up the food-chain and who had nothing to do with this, then we are misguided and we fail as a society.