Whenever I find myself being critical of someone over an extended period of time it robs me of my ability to be introspective and in turn I forfeit a lot of personal peace. Ignoring the dangers of being judgmental is risky, it can cripple our character.
Why is it almost second nature for us to be judgmental? For whatever reason, it is easier to obsess about the flaws in others than it is to acknowledge our own & to see ourselves as the hero while we tend to be more critical of people around us. Judging is easy, unconsciously easy.
The major difference between maturity and immaturity is the ability to see clearly. Seeing ourselves and others realistically is hard, which is why so few people do.
How do we accurately assess ourselves? Asking for feedback from others is intimidating and it can make us defensive, but it’s hard to grow on our own. Either way, focusing on the mistakes of others won’t build your character or develop your personality.
Anyone can complain, it takes someone special who is proficient at recognizing their own weaknesses and isn’t troubled by the achievements and the strengths of others. The need to feel confident is not wrong, as long as confidence isn’t confused with superiority.
Instead of looking at others, look to others. Find areas where you can improve, and allow others to influence you where they are stronger, anything less is hypocritical.
Matthew 7:1-5, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
We probably tend to see the petty flaws in others because it helps us to deflect the attention away from our need for growth. Focusing on their flaws isn’t the best way to develop oneself.
Instead of shamefully pretending we have it all figured out and seeing other people as the villain when we are unhappy, look inward. The less genuine we are, the less satisfied we are — the more we complain the more miserable we become. Maybe this is why joy is so elusive.
Somewhere between lying to yourself about how great you are and beating yourself up over your imperfections you can find peace. It can be hard to be honest with yourself, but the happiest people seem to know that they aren’t perfect but they aren’t wretched either.
Our challenge isn’t aging gracefully, keeping our mind intact, or being productive. Our challenge and task is to quit looking at everyone else’s mistakes, accept responsibility for our own, and offer the same grace to others that we would like to receive ourselves.
