When life feels unfair

 

We rarely pause to think about fairness when life goes well, we assume we deserve/have earned our happiness, yet the moment there’s bad call against our team (I guess since I don’t watch sports), or a loved one receives a discouraging diagnosis, or we feel betrayed, we all say, “that’s not fair!”  Here’s a little secret we don’t like, life isn’t fair.  

When catastrophe strikes, we’d like to place blame somewhere.  Horrible situations worsen if we think we have “done everything right” and we are innocent -- an entitlement mentality only deepens our disappointments and the delusion that we are immune to suffering creates even more misery.   

As these unprovoked troubles develop we struggle with an inescapable sorrow, eventually we face extreme emotional exhaustion from these traumatic experiences.  Solely focused on the problems, stymied and unable to envision any solution, losing hope we ask correctly, “Now what?”

Our downward spiral into despair drains us and we obsess over questions like: “Why” is this happening to me, “What” went wrong, “How” will we get through this?  As a host of other perturbing ideas torment our mind, being overwhelmed, we often neglect to ask “Who” do we turn to?  

Why not turn to God?  Are we mad because He didn’t prevent the problem, is He to blame?

The Bible is filled with passages of people raging at God, complaining about the injustice they were experiencing.  Read Psalm 73 and Job chapter 21 where the age-old criticism is raised, challenging God for allowing the wicked to prosper, enjoying the pleasures of life, while escaping the pain we are suffering from.  Yet Jesus says everyone receives blessings,  “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matt 5:44-45)

God has big shoulders and I don’t think He punishes us for our questions.  If I understand it correctly, Ps 10:1 offers an example for when we have questions that it is appropriate to be vulnerable with God and voice our frustrations, “Why, O Lord, do you stand far away?  Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” 

Life is unfair, it is very temporary, and death is the great equalizer.  As Job points out, “Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped.  And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:20-21)

Is there a way to find comfort when life is unfair and we feel stigmatized?  We know we need a better perspective, but at the time how do we develop spiritual maturity, wisdom, or patience in the midst of the traumatic pain?  Soaking up Scripture, praying, and accepting the comforts of our community are essential.  

……..

https://www.timesnews.net/living/faith/craig-cottongim-here-s-a-little-secret-we-don-t-like-life-isn-t-fair/article_99aaf465-1f22-498f-9c82-0187b092e64e.html

Surprised by what you didn't know about Keto

It’s counterintuitive but true, a high fat diet can help on weight loss, I’ve lost over 50 pounds eating as much as I want, Tammy has lost 45 pounds, and we do not count calories or practice portion control, and most of our calories come from fat.  It’s called the keto diet.  Pictured above is one of our favorite dishes we enjoy at home, Greek flaming cheese, saganaki.  Cheese is very keto!

I go through almost two sticks of butter every week just in my coffee. “Bulletproof coffee” is where you put butter and coconut oil in your coffee, and it sets the tone for the day.  Your body learns to shed fat and burn fat instead of storing fat and burning carbs or sugar.  

Most people think the Keto diet is about losing weight, and they think the diet is relatively new.  Ketogenic, a diet that burns ketone acids from the liver instead of sugars and carbs, was originally designed in 1920 by Dr Wilder at the Mayo clinic to help with epilepsy.  When people fast their seizures typically stop, so the keto diet mimics fasting.

Tammy wanted to start the diet years before I did, I didn’t think I could give up potatoes, pasta, or bread.   I’m glad we began this diet and I intend on staying on it for life. Why you might ask…

We began in March 2023, and since then as I have said I we’ve lost a lot of weight but I didn't start the keto regimen to lose weight, I did it for my mental health.  I had come to terms with my depression and my struggles with suicide and accepted that I would end my life, the struggle was so great and I had tried counseling and several mediations,  none of which helped me.  I felt the only relief would be to end it all.  

Then, I stumbled on a paragraph in a book on the brain that discussed the potential for the keto diet to help with depression and anxiety.  And I gave it a shot.

The keto diet has helped my mental health and it has resulted in greater mental clarity.  I used to experience a lot of brain fog and fatigue, the keto diet has transformed my brain quite a bit.  

In the two years running on being on this diet, my body and brain has changed.  No, there are no silver bullets for depression, and while I have greatly improved I occasionally have setbacks.  I went from considering suicide a few times a day, to then a few times a week, then to even further periods of time.  Overall my mental health is much improved, and I know it’s due to the keto diet, if go off the diet two or three days in a row I’m a wreck.

Beyond weight loss and mental health benefits, I have been surprised to discover how the keto diet changed my metabolism.  For my entire life I have wrestled with hypoglycemia, low blood sugar and extreme blood sugar crashes.  I used to wake up hungry and eat several times a day, never really satiated.   Now, on the keto diet, I go several months without blood sugar issues and while I eat as much food as I want, my appetite has decreased and I typically only eat once a day now.

Another discovery is also the strangest one of keto, I used to have gas all the time, I farted like crazy.  Since we started the keto, I hardly ever have gas.

Bacon wrapped meatloaf 

Stanford university has published studies on the effects of the keto diet indicating it helps with diabetes, mental health, schizophrenia and it might fight cancer and possibly help prevent or treat Alzheimer’s.  The hype is real whenever you hear about the benefits of the keto diet.

Without sounding melodramatic, I truly feel like the keto diet has saved my life. No one will be your health advocate, you have to decide what is best for you and decide if you want to be healthier.  The keto diet requires self-discipline, yet this diet is a proactive lifestyle choice that will improve your overall well-being, physically, mentally, and emotionally and you will experience immense benefits that are extremely rewarding and worthwhile.  So instead of waiting until your habits cause illness and disease have the fortitude and foresight to eat healthier and become healthier, this is a decision and choice that you will not regret.

Here’s a link to an article on the Stanford research:

Stanford keto-diet-mental-illness.html?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR0sEzdVcSbPKX9jDIel7UE7m03Nn8r8SCB0hSFs6BSrlsJyjX55stySjyM_aem_Bm0Yy09P5st5AvjxwiDSpw