Don't shake babies or kick volleyballs:

 

When our boys were growing up, our family's one-liner for categories of behaviors that were off limits was, "You don't shake babies and you don't kick volleyballs."  It was self-explanatory, it was easily understood, immediately comprehended, basically it was simple and to the point.    

Life consists of many choices contemplating: can you versus should you?  Mature people know how to distinguish between what is allowable and what is appropriate.  

There are commonsense subjects that normal people do not make fun of or celebrate, and when these values, mores, and norms are violated, there are social and cultural consequences.  We can ask who defines hate speed, are we defending free speech, and can we argue publicly over any issues we want? but we also know there are times when respect should triumph over political division and politeness over polarization.  

Is there a spiritual side to healthcare?

 

(Me when I was extremely overweight) 

While transferring nearly a decade of our sermon videos from Facebook to our church’s YouTube page https://www.youtube.com/@NewSongChurchKingsport, I cringed.  Peeking at snippets of those sermons as they uploaded revealed how plump, pudgy, and out of shape I was -- well, round is “a” shape so I guess I was in “a” shape, just not in great shape.  

Thanks to some lifestyle changes and the care of Dr. Rogers with Performance Medicine, over the past two years I’ve dropped inches off of my waistline and I’ve lost around 60 pounds (all without diet pills).  I’m at my lowest weight since the 1990s, my overall well-being has improved immensely, I can actually breathe while putting my shoes on (without seeing stars too), I no longer feel bloated, my fatigue and brain-fog are gone, and my emotional/mental-health & quality of life is much better than it has been in decades.  

I share my personal transformation to say, what is in our control is more important than what we can’t control and that taking ownership of our health through proper habits like eating and sleeping better is healthier than trying to cure situations that could be circumvented.  Yes genetics play a role in our health, and unfortunate accidents can happen to us, but the majority of our health issues will not be alleviated by the old medical approach of just “treat a condition” that could’ve been prevented.  

Which makes more sense to you, wait to go to the doctor to get treated for scurvy or take a supplement with vitamin C, or, take insulin for type 2 diabetes or regulate your diet?  As Peter Attis writes in “Outlive,” performance medicine is not passive or reactive, comparing it to the example of Noah who built the Ark, before the rain; he continued his contrast between how he learned to practice medicine in Med school to Performance Medicine, pointing out how insurance companies ignore the value of proactive measures like exercise and healthy lifestyle choices that prevent diabetes, but they pay for insulin while implementing the old “Wait and see” approach to healthcare. 

Yes there are great doctors out there, yet, do you ever feel more like a customer than a patient, are you frustrated with languishing in the waiting room for half of the day only to be rushed through your physician's visit that lasts maybe 5 to 7 minutes leaving you feeling like a widget on a conveyor belt?  I don’t blame our doctors or nurses, I think it is the folks that manage them who have decided that speed is more expedient than bedside manners because more time spent on a patient reduces their profit margins.

More importantly, does our physical health have an impact on a deeper spiritual reality, and if so how, and is there a spiritual element to our healthcare decisions?  Consider what the devil had to say concerning how much value we place on our health as God confronted him about Job, “Then Satan answered the LORD and said, “Skin for skin! All that a man has he will give for his life.  But stretch out your hand and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse you to your face.” (Job 2:4-5)  

What we spend on healthcare & insurance is a stewardship issue, regardless of whether we recognize it or not.  Marketing agencies will prey on our fears, healthcare conglomerates are driven by their bottom line, and lazy people will suffer the consequences of inactivity and poor lifestyle choices.  If you too are frustrated with the higher costs and disappointed by a lowered quality of your medical experiences, maybe it’s time that we consider how fear, greed, and laziness impact the healthcare industry.  

Originally published 9/12/25 in the Kingsport Timesnews click here to read

What’s the point of it all...?

Commitment, a rare virtue it seems, matters more than you might think, not simply the ability to commit to (and here you fill in the blank), but the focus and direction of our commitment matters.  Why?

With the same power that an addiction grips people with, whatever it is that captures your imagination, captivates your heart & soul, fuels your creativity, consumes your mind, drives your hopes, dreams and ambitions is your master, ruler, and king.  What we commit to matters, the clock is is ticking and life is short, so we need to harness our commitments where they count.

For all practical purposes, your accepted responsibilities are your reasons for your existence. What we are passionate about motivates us, energizes us, gets our feet out of bed in the morning, and we will willingly sacrifice our time & effort for it.  It is in the deepest sense, what we submit ourselves to, where we feel obligated, what draws our duty freely from within has won us over and holds ownership over us.

In other words, whatever it is that captures us completely is our god/God.

It’s possible to be more interested in the idea of God than God Himself.  Yes we like the notion of blessings and heavenly realms, but we aren’t exactly excited about personal transformation or taking risks for God.  We think about God once or twice a week, typically on Sunday, and then we pursue what we want.  Is that commitment?  

I'm all for gathering as the church, but sometimes church is more about preferences and church-politics.  Corporate worship assemblies we call "church" can easily miss the point.  Many people are infatuated with projects, performances, and presentations and then they wonder why they feel disconnected from God.  

Where you place your trust is what or who you worship.  Most people appear to be more interested in being spectators in a big production they tag with the label “worship” than they are interested in being in the presence of the Almighty.  The lightshow and performance are like scaffolding, and God is the House, but we settle for erecting the scaffolding without ever dreaming about entering in the House.  

How do we know the real focus of our worship?  Whatever moves you the most is what you truly worship.  Say whatever you want, but what we obsess over and allow to captivate our imagination and what are motivated by is the source of what our heart desires and thus the object of our worship.

Should worship be enjoyable, exciting, and meaningful?  I certainly hope so, but the focus of worship shouldn't be personal motivation or what we "get out of it."  The enjoyment is a byproduct, not the main point of worship.  

You are either an implement or an impediment, you are either in the way or on the way, we either lead people to God or we interfere by misguiding their focus on the trivial.  What we win people with is what we win them to, either a gimmicky production or the Glorified Person of Jesus.  Would you still "go" to church if it was only about Jesus and nothing else?  Could you worship without all the entourage and pageantry?  Worship should be about God, simple and direct.  

Why people without self control try to control you

There’s a tremendous difference between feeling powerful and actually being powerful, for example, some people childishly confuse cutting down or cutting-off others with having power.  Real power is unrelated to inhibiting others.  How so? 

Authentic power minimally includes, letting your guard down, empowering others & building them up, blessing them, and giving them what they couldn’t achieve on their own.  Yet, true power incorporates more than exhibiting vulnerability or edifying others.

So, what is power?  Power is controlling yourself, not others.  

Who are truly powerful people?  Not tyrants, but folks who practice self-control, as we read in Prov 16:32, “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”

Powerful people are reserved, humble, grateful, as well as confident, and they do not believe that anyone owes them anything.  Powerless people with their fragile egos are rash, arrogant, rarely satisfied, and lacking in confidence they always feel slighted by the world.   

At the negotiating table of life it is the unconfident ones who resort to threats, steamrolling you by shunning & shaming you, not the confident people.  Weak people seek to discourage and dominate while the strong prefer to encourage and liberate.  In our desperation to feel more powerful we try harder to control others around us by withholding our affections, our compliments, even access to our very selves, but again, these pitiful efforts aren’t actual power.  

The more we feel the need to constrain others, the greater the depth of our own felt-weakness is magnified.  The weaker we feel, the stronger our struggle to appear powerful becomes -- think of bullies and how they suppress others out of a sense of ineptness, frailty, and self-loathing.  

Sadly, our culture encourages us to disregard self-control, instead to overeat, overspend, overextend, over-do-it and to ignore the consequences.  Consider the fallout resulting from the counterfeit feeling of power that high interest credit cards entice us with, and then the predatory title-loan institutions lurking in the shadows waiting to exploit those already buried in debt.  These corollary disastrous financial examples often pale in comparison to the pain we inflict on each other.

Weak people lash out at those who anger them or stand in their way while powerful people try to help people -- that’s the main outward/visible difference between weak and powerful people.  And, our actual strength or lack thereof comes down to embracing self-control.  Therefore, the most important people-skill we can instill in our children is exhibiting self-control, and as adults it might be our most important continuing endeavor as well.  

Rewriting history doesn’t really change the past, and moving the field goal when others are trying to accommodate your needs doesn’t really improve any relationship.  Perhaps the more we want to change others only amplifies how poorly we fail to personally change ourselves.  In the end, ignoring our own need for greater self-control hurts us more than we’d like to admit.  

What if Christians could quit fighting each other?

 

Thankfully not all churches are territorial, yet the devil is, I imagine, awfully delighted whenever we allow our doctrinal differences to divide us.  Does doctrine matter? Absolutely, but just think of what we could accomplish for God if we looked past the pride and smugness of those Bible believing brethren down the pew or down the road who disregard our perfect interpretation of the Bible and what if we chose to cooperate instead of debate?

Like leftovers forgotten deep in the back of the fridge, somehow we’ve overlooked this: As followers of Jesus we are only Christians, but we are not the only Christians.  Instead, to “prove” our authenticity what we’ve settled for is bickering about form over function, perpetuated infighting by pitting traditional & contemporary folks against each other over worship styles, arguing over which is the authorized translation of the Bible, fighting over whether God finished creation in 6 literal days and rested on the 7th or took millions of years, squabbling over women’s roles, quarreling about the role of the Holy Spirit, clashing over the name over the door, and of course locking horns over our favorite hobbyhorse theological preferences like our battle-royales concerning pre-post-amillinalism/endtimes.  

Instead of contending for the faith, we’ve become contentious about the faith.  Not so with Jesus, He said there was one way the world could spot an authentic Christian if they ever chanced upon one, “[34] A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. [35] By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35 ESV)

But shouldn’t we correct them for their own good?  “[38] John said to him, “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.” [39] But Jesus said, “Do not stop him, for no one who does a mighty work in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. [40] For the one who is not against us is for us.” (Mark 9:38-40)

In what amounts to pettifogging, our antagonistic approach is counterproductive — we’re losing the lost and we are not winning the won with our argumentative, arrogant, judgmental attitudes and our habit of labeling & insulting each other.  Like an undertaker in a spaghetti Western sizing-up the doomed gunfighter with his cloth tape measure as the gunslinger saunters out the Saloon’s swinging doors, Americans are unsuspectingly passing through the same portal as Europe, once a stronghold of faith but now they are nearly completely secular.  

While not all, many have traded in the Kingdom of Christ for conflict and chaos -- you can either row the boat or rock the boat, but you can’t do both at the same time.  Rodney King famously asked after the 1991 race riots, “Can’t we all get along…?” Well, what if we as believers could…, just get along? 

Originally published in the Kingsport Timesnews 8/16/25

Credibility: What what you say says about you

In what amounts to same amount of talent as an armchair quarterback, social media is overrun with complainers who add their .02 cents without ever producing valuable thoughts or contributing to the greater good.  It is interesting to me how many people on social media think their comments are more important than the content they comment on.  People complain and criticize and correct far more often than they actually share quality content all on their own, and completely lacking originality they apparently think their opinions are very profound.  

Lacking their own platform, these cyber bullies are acting like a parasite commenting on your posts.  Like a heckler who lacks the ability to come up with their own one-liners they try to interrupt your performance.  

Actually, if you want to be taken credible, create your own content.   Anyone can do a "drive by shooting" of other people's thoughts or content, the truly brave person though puts pencil to paper and with a touch of vulnerability opens themselves up for the nitpickers and naysayers of the world.  

Critical people are self-deceived, they think they are cleaver and witty, but really they are sad pitiful miserable people.  They leave one star reviews on business pages without ever taking the risk of starting their own business, they are faultfinders who never are satisfied but never actually do anything that can be analyzed, and most likely are jealous or envious of the people they attack from behind the safety of their smart phones.  

It's funny and sad how brave people are when they hide behind their keyboards and take potshots at the people who actually are creative and productive.  Like the old saying about turning your prized oxen into bullion cubes, most critical people lack the ability to generate well thought out ideas, so they settle for inaction and cowardly complaining about your content while they pedal their mineral pyrite hoping you think their ideas ideas are pure gold.    

When churches cry Wolf! we all suffer

 

Businesses often fail to recognize their marketing mistakes, such as using obnoxious, annoying, and false advertisements -- just because you capture someone’s attention doesn’t ensure that you will generate interest in your product and this absolutely applies to the church.  We deserve the same consequences as the little boy who cried “Wolf!” whenever we magnify any calamity in the Middle East and proudly advertise, “Armageddon!” 

Think about how many churches who have recently forfeited their credibility by amplifying their doomscrolling-menacing-cringeworthy-clickbait-message that Operation Midnight Hammer signaled the imminent return of Christ.  Sounding like a filthy carnival barker they finagled the scriptures, fraudulently claiming, “Putin is the Antichrist and Gog and Magog are coming to fruition now, the Bible is being fulfilled as these amazing events unfold before our very eyes, we are certainly entering the end times, it’s finally Armageddon time!”  

Nonbelievers find our fascination with the showdown between Israel & Tehran coupled with our end-time-hysteria hysterical, and rightly so.  Although another word beginning with the letter “B” comes to mind, “Baloney!” will have to suffice here — if you have read your New Testament for yourself, I am not telling you anything you do not already know.  

John wrote in Rev 1:9 that he was already in the tribulation and the Kingdom.  Also, quit anticipating “The Antichrist” seizing power, not only is there no mention of any Antichrist looming anywhere in the Book of Revelation, John told us elsewhere there were multiple Antichrists already on the scene in his lifetime, “Children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. Therefore we know that it is the last hour.” (1st JN 2:18 ESV).  Furthermore, the antichrist wasn’t a world-ruler threatening the faithful, according to John an antichrist is simply someone who denies the deity of Jesus, don’t take my word for it read 1st JN2:22 and 1st JN 4:3 for yourself.  

As for the Rapture, again this worn out word has been swindled away by grifters too.  Jerome translated the Bible into Latin between 382 and 405 A.D. and the Latin word for “caught up” was rapture.  When the “Rapture commences” in 1st Thess 4, it isn’t the beginning of the tribulation or the kingdom (remember what John wrote in Rev 1:9) instead the day we are caught up to meet Jesus is the end of time not the beginning of the end-times -- read 1st Cor 15:24 and discover that when Jesus returns He turns the kingdom back over to the Father, He doesn’t establish an earthly Kingdom with the capitol in Jerusalem.  Nowhere does the Bible ever record Jesus returning to the earth to establish an earthly kingdom for a thousand years on earth, nowhere, instead Revelation 20:4-6 is describing a spiritual realm, not a physical kingdom on planet earth.   

Beyond all of their embarrassing End-times claims made by disreputable churches, remember Jesus acknowledged, “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.” (Matthew 24:36 ESV)  Trying to match up our military strike on Iranian soil with His return is a despicable disgraceful dud.  

Apparently good old fashioned submission isn’t spectacular enough, obedience is too ordinary, and being personally responsible for your own spiritual growth is too boring to bother getting on board with.  Shame on Christians for sensationalizing contemporary catastrophes in the name of Christ, their obsession with forcing Armageddon into every news-cycle is nothing short of escapism and fearmongering. 

Originally published in the Timesnews 7/18/25 Click here to see the original column

Here are a few sermons on the topic:

Unlearning Armageddon

The Number of the Beast

Meet the Beast

Treating treasure like trash

It's no great surprise we neglect visiting the pubic library, but we do so to our own detriment.  Our ever decreasing & shrinking attention spans are challenged by the ever increasing choices to distract ourselves -- streaming services, online games, social media doom-scrolling and more all compete for our dopamine starved brain's attention. 

Today Tammy and I took Harper to the library's temporary location in the Fort Henry Mall; the Kingsport public library is undergoing a two year renovation.  We were curious to see how they were set up and there was a book I needed.  I ended up getting several books and utilized the amazing free Interlibrary loan system to get a book they didn't have.  Harper found a few books herself and she played in the children's area for quite some time.

It sounds nerdy to get excited about such an outing, but we were.  It occurred to me while we spent time there how underutilized this free treasure is, besides their endless access to unlimited books the library provides all sorts of activities and resources.  We treat the library like it is optional, mediocre, and boring, it's like Mom's meatloaf that no one misses it until she dies while we treat the internet, Cable TV, and Video games like a 3 Star Micheline restaurant.  If I think about it too long, it makes me sad.

What's wrong with forsaking the library, what's the danger in this self-sabotaging decision?  We risk allowing our brains to atrophy, we forfeit opportunities to expand and enhance our lives, we miss out on the endless supply of books that can improve our lives and instruct us on any topic or subject we are interested in, we shortchange satisfaction, and we take for granted one of the greatest resources available to civilization that's absolutely free to use!

Sure bookstores are amazing portals into the realm of knowledge and I love a good used bookstore as much as the next person, but there is no substitute for the Public library.  Librarians are the greatest unsung hero of the day who experience the deepest lack of appreciation of any servants of the community, but it's not their fault.  Sadly our culture has drifted away from the love of reading, which is a reflection of how little we value our personal growth and development.   

To me, the public library is a mystical temple where learning, growth and development are all connected as our mind experiences an adventure in an intellectual odyssey.  Our imagination is fed along with our intellect as well, and it is our no-cost cultural treasure.  It would be a shame to treat the library as if it were as disposable as trash, do yourself a favor and go more often. 

Drama causes trauma

 

Drama causes trauma.  Our worst emotional wounds oftentimes are the result of a chaotic upbringing — which is why adults should learn how to discuss their disagreements without being combative.

Chronic stress releases a continual flow of cortisol in our bloodstream, this hormone is beneficial in a spur of the moment crisis (think of a jolt of adrenaline to jar you into action), but prolonged exposure is detrimental to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing — I encourage you to look further into the startling subject of the harmful effects of stress & cortisol and its links to fatigue, depression, cancer, high blood pressure, and heart disease.  

Having differences is a normal part of all relationships, but the vulnerable youth suffer when the adults are inconsiderate. We selfishly cause more damage to their psyche than we realize when we focus on fault finding, blame, or neglect to reign in our tongue, temper, ego, and pride in the midst of terrible arguments.  

When it comes to settling our differences we need to and we can set a better example for the next generation.  It’s worth noting we can experience anger but we should still maintain self control and resolve our problems quickly, as Paul wrote in Eph 4:26-27 & :31-32,  “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil... 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Too often we confuse winning an argument with the real goal, like coming to a common understanding, together.  We mistakenly think dominating the conversation, winning the case to “prove our point” is the primary objective.  Demonizing our partners or seeing them as adversaries and demoralizing them might put points on a scoreboard but it doesn’t achieve success in what counts most, our actual priority should be protecting the relationship, not being the one who is “right” all the time.  

Hitting a pothole knocks our vehicle out of alignment, relationships need to be realigned after a rough patch too and it begins by appreciating our mutuality, 1st Cor 11:11, “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman.” Respecting our interdependence is necessary for healthy marriages.

We have to be proactive to be productive, until we admit to ourselves during the times of aggravation that “I might be wrong” or we both might be mistaken, then we will struggle to make any headway, but the effort is worthwhile because our children deserve strong families, stability, and a peaceful sense of security.  Sadly for too many marriages, our fighting shatters the security of the sweet wee little people we say we love and they end up as collateral damage in our battles of will.  

If as a couple you lecture more than you laugh together, scowl more than you smile, and you feel like you are on trial, please consider getting professional help. If you are less than satisfied, make it your mission to mend your miserable marriage, we owe it to the next generation to model healthy & happy homes.  

Crushing the competition

The myth in business is that for you to succeed, the other guy needs to fail miserably.  A very wise, wealthy and successful man once told me, "If you get every job you bid, you aren't charging enough."  There is a scarcity mentality that believes there are only so many pieces of the pie to go around, and so you best be cutthroat & ruthless to survive.  There are healthier ways of seeing the opportunities though.  

When we started our concrete pumping business, TCB Concrete Pumping Website we were one of only a few pumpers in the region, now there are several.  As each new pumper launched their business, we would hear the news from the grapevine and naturally wonder how it would effect our business.  In an effort to generate more business, one of the new pumpers even went around telling people we at TCB had retired and were no longer pumping -- those underhanded methods are not only deceptive and unethical, they are signs of desperation when you see the other guy as your competition.  

The reality is, the other company isn't the competition you face, you are your own competition.  Quit giving them free rent in your head and concentrate on what you can control; the other guy is the least of your concerns.  Surely you want your pricing to be attractive and acceptable and you are up against a market economy where people are free to spend their discretionary dollars where they choose.  But, the other company isn't the competition, even if the other guy goes under, it doesn't mean that you will magically manage your workload any better.  Ruining a rival will never guarantee your success.

How well you do your job, how well you keep your word, the integrity and honor and virtue you have are what matters more than the prices of the other guy.  Are you doing your best work or are you just doing enough to get by?  We've had customers come back after trying a the new guy who set their prices lower in an effort to steal away customers, and when the new guy lacked the experience and the same quality of service we provided, the customers come back.  

Sidenote: Not all contractors are worth having as a customer.  If they are skinflints who want to hold their payouts for months on end, or you have to chase them down to get a check, and they are difficult to work with, it's not worth it.  

The fact is, if the other guy is a better pumper, he deserves the work, he's earned it.  The greatest threat you face is your performance, not the other guy's prices.

It really comes down to you and your work ethic, can you show up early and work late, is your standard of quality topnotch, will you put in the effort, are you dedicated to your craft, are you doing your best or are you making it easy for your "competition" to make you look bad?  

Instead of worrying about the other guy, welcome their contributions to the industry overall, find ways to cooperate, and most of all seek to improve your own reputation.  You need to up your game and be the best you can be, that is why you are your own competition.  

When helping hurts

 

Do you have people in your life who no matter how much you do for them they are never satisfied and it seems impossible to make them happy?  If so, maybe it’s time to slow your roll and reflect on your actual role -- consider resisting the temptation to swoop in and save the day because strangely enough, doing too much for some people can make matters worse.  

It sounds cynical, but it seems the warning about “biting the hand that feeds you” has some teeth to it since certain people not only neglect to show appreciation, they appear to be resentful after being helped.  Maybe there’s something to the old saying, no good deed goes unpunished.   

It’s interesting how quickly people forget about being supported through a tough time -- it seems like they are ungrateful, even bitter afterwards.  Too often helpers set themselves up for disappointment, yet the reality is, it’s quite possible that these very same people would have mistreated their helpers eventually, perhaps it’s delusional thinking that just because someone is helpful they should be immune to misbehavior.

Some people seem to feel worse about themselves or lose self confidence when anyone does too much for them -- doing good for certain people makes them feel bad about themselves because they doubt their own abilities or competency.  Shielding people from the pain of their consequences or from their struggles too much can handicap them mentally & emotionally which is a hard lesson for people who feel the need to rescue or protect the people they care about most.  

How can helpers find a better balance in their efforts to be supportive without harming those in need or risk being hurt in the process themselves? If someone focuses on the bad they become bitter, if they focus on the good they do for others they might come to expect more than they should, but if helpers focus on their responsibilities and what they are able to do right they might just find satisfaction — maybe this is partially what Jesus had in mind when Jesus said something about not letting your left hand know what your right hand is doing when helping the needy? 

This fine line between helping and harming those we care about feels like trying to paint a portrait on the surface of a running creek.  When you help people who don’t really want to be helped, when you want better results for them than they want for themselves, or if you want their healing more than they want it, then it becomes unhealthy and it backfires.  

None of us want to feel like we are takers, so being more proactive in expressing our own gratitude to those who help us out in our times of need is vital and certainly we all at one time or another need help.  Recognize, we are responsible to other people but we are not responsible for other people, so assist those who want a hand up not a hand out, the ones who want to become more capable but not to be coddled, support the ones who with the right help can go on to helping others themselves when the time comes.