Has American-consumerism killed Christmas?

Can you remember the Christmas presents you exchanged last year?  I can’t either, but I can remember who I spent the day with.  While most gifts end up gathering dust, time and attention are both unforgettable and irreplaceable.  This is the time of year when we could use a reminder: Christmas should be more about relationships than retail.

Is anyone else tired of the Christmas shopping season starting before Labor Day and crescendoing the day after Thanksgiving?  Jesus was born in a lowly barn; the Bible says there was no room in the inn.  During His earthly ministry, Jesus said He “had nowhere to lay His head.”   When we lead kids to get more excited about Santa’s sleigh than Jesus’ Cross, I can’t see the Jesus of the Bible defending the commercialized Christmas we celebrate today.  

Maybe it’s time for us to relax when the cashier at the mall wishes us a “Happy holiday” instead of a “Merry Christmas.”   What has the annual plea, “Keep Christ in Christmas” really accomplished?  Each winter, many Christians across the country condemn local shopping malls who do not explicitly articulate the phrase “Christmas.”  Several K-12 schools will gain air time as reporters cover the worn out battle over Christmas pageants verses Holiday parties.  I for one am weary of these Christmas season battles.

In this consumer-driven chaos, Christmas has lost some of its magic.  Who can argue for shackling Jesus to the Americanized Holiday we celebrate these days?  When people who have never taken their kids camping, spend the night on Best Buy’s sidewalk or greedy hordes stampede local Walmarts every Black Friday -- we have to ask what does our version of Christmas have to do with Jesus anyway?  

In just one day, Americans spent $52 billion on Black Friday alone this year.  I wonder what half of that amount would do to alleviate suffering and poverty?   The spirit of Christmas, of generosity, of sharing, of God entering our space, the story of mankind being redeemed, this all seems lost amidst clashing doorbusters and rustling shopping lists.  

I can’t understand why believers fight for maintaining Christ in Christmas at the mall, when the consumerism we are perpetuating is contrary to the anti-materialistic message of Christ.  The battle we are fighting for, perhaps we should fight against.  Putting Christ back in Christmas doesn’t start at the mall, it starts in the home & our church.  If you doubt the real message of Christmas has been lost to our culture, go to Youtube and simply watch any of Jimmy Kimmel’s videos, “I gave my kids a terrible Christmas present.” Warning: these videos are highly offensive and have horrible language -- the swearing and screaming comes from kids under 10 years of age!  

I relish in the joy Christmas brings my wife as we trim the tree -- though untangling the lights doesn’t bring out the best in me...  I feel good about exchanging gifts with our kids and grandchild.  I love serving Christmas dinner and I anticipate sitting around the table with loved ones.  However, as long as our Nation’s rampant love affair with Black Friday/Cyber Monday rages on, the race for winning Christmas hasn’t even left the stall.

Lukewarm marriages lead to pain, so make yours sizzle!

I heard this song today and it inspired a few thoughts on marriage.
BTW: You don't have to be a Country & Western music fan to appreciate the wisdom within this song.

I know that I'm not the perfect husband, but I will always strive to express my affection and appreciation to Tammy.  I'm thankful for a wife who doesn't hold me to a standard of 100% perfection.  It is no secret, anyone who knows us, knows she's my best friend and I enjoy spending more time with her than anyone else.  After over 25 years of marriage, she still excites me and we laugh together often.  I can't even imagine life without her.

Sadly not everyone is happy in their marriage, I know, I've worked with dozens of couples over the years.  Some people can't imagine life going on with their spouse.  Too many people, it seems, either take their spouse for granted or for some unknown reason harbor resentment and contempt.  After months or years of this, they wonder why their marriages suffer.

I'm sorry if this describes you.  This is not a judgment or slur.  It might be a time to rethink things before it's too late.

How can you find happiness, or find it again?

• Being kind, loving, and avoiding selfishness are worth it, if you want a healthy love life.  
• Try to complement more than you complain.  
• Really think about it before you criticize. Is this really the hill to die on?
• Try hard to meet your spouse's needs, as hard as you would hope they would try to meet yours.
• People crave acceptance and the permission to occasionally fail.  So exhibit the same grace you need.
• If you & your spouse don't know how to communicate or deal with conflict, get help.
• (Please read that last line again)
• Spend time together.
• Eat your meals together.
• Laugh together.
• Remember your vows.
• Effort never hurt.  We tell our kids to work hard on their homework, so let's work on our home life.
• If you don't know where to start, start with being more polite and use "please & thank you"

Remember, you are always setting an example for your children.  So good or bad, our children will more than likely imitate the attitudes and actions they see in mom & dad.  And, don't distance yourself emotionally when you are angry or in troubled time --someone somewhere will fill that gap quicker than a pop song...

May you have a love life with your spouse that's so strong, wild horses couldn't drag you away!

A man of few friends

This is the bottom-side of the stool Allan led singing from -- he inscribed it & gave it to me when he moved to TX...

As part of a professor's research project focused on ministers, I took the Myers Briggs personality test twice in college.  Once as an incoming student, where it ranked me as an introvert.  The second time was right before my graduation, then it ranked me as an extrovert. I think really I'm neither an introvert nor an extrovert; I fluctuate between introversion and extroversion based on my level of emotional energy.   

Even so, one solid standard is that I am a man of few close-friends.  It's not on purpose, but that's just how it seems to work out, though I am selective on who I surround myself with.  I never really thought about it before, at least not in this applying to me, but there's a Proverb that says, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24, ESV)

I do not have some romanticized concept of being a lone wolf. Neither have I felt the need to surround myself with an entourage.  I can count on one hand the people who have been closest to me.  

Either way, when we move or a close friend moves away, it leaves a void.  I don't regret being a person of few friends, I do regret that I stink at keeping touch...

The book I should write, on how I'm not always right

I have a couple of writing projects I plug away at in my free time.  I'm quite excited about them.  I had an "ah ha" moment this morning.  The book I should write is "Being at peace with my mistakes: how to accept my failures without shrugging them off"

I don't shrug off my past mistakes as if they never happened.  Nor do I neglect to take responsibility for them.  I'm not proud of them, but they've led me to the place I am today.  I wish I could've had more patience raising my children and I wish I could have been a better husband.  I know through the years I've upset people in church too. At age 45, I finally have the maturity to see my earlier years of hubris.

In my 30's I really thought I had all the answers.  Now, I see just how many answers I was wrong about.
Whether it was marriage, raising kids, or how to minister to a congregation, I have the humility now to see I wasn't right all the time, about everything.  I wasn't the expert I thought I was...

For example.  Before, I felt that any advice I had for people I was counseling was golden, and if they rejected it, it infuriated me.  Now, I'm quite at peace when people choose not to make healthy changes.  Strangely, I no longer feel it's my responsibility to change or fix people.

Similarly, I don't feel responsible for people who reject the Gospel.  For many years I felt it was my personal responsibility to save the world.  There was one Messiah, and He died on the cross.  I can only point people to the cross, I can't carry them there.

God has revealed a lot to me this year; 2013 has been eye opening for me.
I feel today I'm more pastoral than ever.  Which, with my heritage feels awkward to say, but it is what it is.
I saw my role in the past as that of the prophet (not foreseer of the future), the guy who spoke for God to shake things up and get people back on track.  I felt the responsibility lay on solely my shoulders to stand for Truth and to correct the imperfections in the church world.  Now, I just want to worship God in peace, and be at peace.

I no longer feel I'm an expert on anything, instead, this year has taught me I'm only a lifelong learner.  Lesson number one, learn from my mistakes?  Not so much so.  Instead, lesson number one, I'm making my share of mistakes and that's part of the process.  Yes, that's a good starting point going into 2014 for me.

Merging our two worlds

(Timesnews Religion column 11/22/13) 

Most of our adult life is spent working.  Typically, we finish high school and train for a trade or enroll in college, and then for the next 40 to 50 years it’s off to the salt-mines.  Work isn’t a curse, neither was work meant to be a burden.  Remember, Adam was sinless and guilt-free when he was placed in the Garden of Eden; Adam worked in the Garden before mankind's Fall.  Working within God’s creation reflects our partnership with God Almighty -- we were created to work.  Retirement isn’t our main goal, when it comes to working, reflecting God’s Image is our greatest priority.  

Many of us don’t stay in the same field we started off in; it’s okay that it takes awhile to settle in and find the right fit.  Scripture encourages us to take our vocation seriously, here’s just one example, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:23-24, ESV)

Perhaps second only to marriage and raising kids, our occupations require our greatest, lifelong dedication.  Since we invest such a large portion of life to working, it only makes sense that we strive to merge our faith and our work.  In the Bible, The Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule weren’t restricted to Sundays -- they are for everyday of the week. The question we face week-in and week-out is: How can we consistently live-out our faith in the marketplace?

There are many excellent resources out there to help believers thrive in the workplace.  For example, last year Timothy Keller released, “Every Good Endeavor” (subtitled: connecting your work to God’s work).  To help us integrate our obedience to God with our work habits, Keller says his book answers three questions: Why do you want to work, why is work so hard, and how can we overcome these difficulties and find satisfaction in our work through the Gospel? (pg. 30)  Keller’s book is simple and practical.  If you are looking for a good read on vocational discipleship, you’ll appreciate Every Good Endeavor.  By the way, I don’t think it was a coincidence they styled the cover for Keller’s book with the same color scheme as Jim Collins’s Good to Great.

Our congregation takes merging “work & faith” seriously; we’ve asked Eastman’s CEO, Jim Rogers to address this timely topic.  He knows firsthand the challenges and the rewards of letting his Christian faith guide him in the boardroom.  Christian-based leadership in the corporate world can’t always be easy to pull off, therefore I can’t wait to hear how Mr. Rogers leads Eastman without compromising his beliefs.  If you’re interested in Mr. Rogers’s perspective on merging your faith and work, you are welcome to join us Sunday December 15th, at 10:00 a.m. in the Food City Press Room, 300 Clinchfield St.  

In the end, to find true peace of mind, Christians need to avoid the mindset that we can compartmentalize life into the sacred and the secular.   All of life was meant to be dedicated to God -- our profession, family, and worship, these all must merge seamlessly.  It’s not easy, but it is possible.  In fact, you could say it takes hard work...

Would you avoid yourself?

Anyone can break off a branch or chop down a tree, but few have the patience to cultivate the soil around a tree and nurture the tree until it bears fruit.   Anyone can burn their bridges, though fewer will make the effort to build bridges.  It will always be easier to bulldoze over a house than it is to lay a foundation.

For example, to pick apart the ideas of others while idly sitting back, never quite initiating an original thought of our own.  For whatever reason, negativity and criticism flow like water -- erosive and effortlessly.

How will you be remembered?  As the person who built others up, or the one who tore down everyone around them with your cutting tongue?  You probably want to be remembered like the people you try to surround yourself with, and I doubt you purposely surround yourself with people who knock the wind out of your sails.

There's nothing wrong with collaborating with others and together mutually helping each other become better people.  But if there's one-sided faultfinding going on, you know "constructive criticism" that only flows in one direction, well, soon enough the crickets will fill the silence.

BTW: I was inspired with these thoughts today after listening to two people on NPR complain...

Why I don't wear a watch

When it comes to being on time, I like the old saying , "To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late."  Really, I like to be punctual but I don't wear a wrist-watch.

The reason I don't wear a watch, isn't that I'm against clocks.
Neither would I say am I uninterested the actual time.

For most of my life I wore a watch, up until I went to college and I noticed something odd about wrist watches for the first time in my life.  As I would talk with a professor and they would sneak a peek at their watch and it made me feel like I was wasting their time.  Like, they couldn't wait to be somewhere else.

Sometimes in class, I would raise my hand to ask a question or offer a response to the professor's question, and whenever the professor repeatedly looked at his watch, I had a sinking feeling. I'm not blaming anyone, but what I experienced in college caused me to hang up my watch.

I decided then, I didn't want to ever make others feel insignificant the way I was made to feel, so I quit wearing a watch.  How noble.  How bold.  How profound. How immature!