Mature perspectives need to prevail for Christians and election results: Responding to the 47th president

I stayed up until after 2:00 in the morning watching the results come in, it was a stressful evening to say the least.  I have friends and family members on both sides of the political divide, I'm seeing some rejoice and celebrate today, and others lament the election results, some flaunting and rubbing it in, others deeply grieved, I am not seeing a lot of balance on social media and that is the goal of this post, to bring some balance into perspective... 

When one pollical party takes power and one loses power, there is a shift in attitude and an exaggeration of jeopardizing democracy and liberty, this pendulum swings back and forth every time.  Mature believers will abstain from demoralizing language, regardless if their choice won or lost, and this should be true in each and every election we participate in.   

Why? Because of God’s role in setting up world-leaders. According to the Bible, “He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding.” (Daniel 2:21 ESV). And who is front and center on Daniel’s mind as he says this? Nebuchadnezzar, the same one who ordered the destruction of Jerusalem and subsequently exiled God’s people. In Jeremiah 25:9 & 27:6, Jeremiah said Nebuchadnezzar was God’s servant!

Nebuchadnezzar was an idolatrous-bloodthirsty dictator, and paradoxically God handed the world to him on a silver platter, Dan 2:37-38, "37 You, O king, the king of kings, to whom the God of heaven has given the kingdom, the power, and the might, and the glory, 38 and into whose hand he has given, wherever they dwell, the children of man, the beasts of the field, and the birds of the heavens, making you rule over them all—you are the head of gold."

Every election cycle is portrayed as the most vital one to date; each new election cycle is hyped-up more than the last one. Americans are constantly being told that this is “the most important election ever in our Nation’s history.” We are cautioned, our “Liberty is at stake,” we are warned our “freedoms and way of life” are on the line -- this hyperbolic propaganda is repeated around the clock, all the while ignoring God's role in assigning positions of authority.

Our way of voting is rather new. The Bible was written in the historical context of monarchies and Theocratic imperialism. If you search your Bible forever you won’t find the words “Democratic elections” or “Voters rights.” Instead, we read: “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, 2 for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.” (I Timothy 2:1-2)

“Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.” (Romans 13:1-2)

“Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, 14 or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. 15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. 16 Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. 17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.” (I Peter 2:13-17)

In other words, from these three passages, it is not up to us to establish the political leadership. It is our obligation to be submissive to political leaders and to pray for them, regardless of whether we agree or disagree with them.

Further yet, consider Jesus’ response to Pilate’s interrogation in John 18:36-37, “36 Jesus answered, “My kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world, my servants would have been fighting, that I might not be delivered over to the Jews. But my kingdom is not from the world.” 37 Then Pilate said to him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.”

As the church we have an obligation to live faithfully, even in a world rife with political corruption -- we are blessed today with unimaginable freedoms that allow us to participate in our elections, this serious obligation is not to be taken lightly. Ultimately, as we participate in and observe political results we must consider, our kingdom isn't of this world, “But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ...” (Philippians 3:20)

Satisfaction as "second Fiddle"???

 Two songs I love deeply were made famous by artists other than the writer and original performer of the songs.  Years would go by before the videos were shot of the "new" renditions, and the song-writers made "cameo" appearances in the videos and most people have no clue.  I wonder how the creators of the great content felt playing "second fiddle" to the more popular musicians?  

First example: The guy on the slide guitar off to the right of your screen is Darrel Scott, he wrote "never leave Harlan alive" but most people who know the song have no idea.  

The same is true for "Poncho & Lefty"  Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard made it poplar, but Townes Van Zandt wrote it, and most people do not know that either.   Van Zandt makes a modest cameo in the video for the first time a 1:01 in the video, he's seated a table: 

I think most of us struggle for recognition and we crave receiving credit where credit is due.  I think for Darrel Scott and Townes Van Zandt, it had to be tough to see someone else in the spotlight getting all the attention for their hard work, but neither seems to struggle with it from all outward appearances.  

I think the lesson here is that seeing your efforts and creations go further than you ever took them or further than your capability to carry them is rewarding in itself.  If we have the proper attitude, we can find satisfaction without the spotlight.   

Frenemies

One of my favorite lines from Bob Seger's song "Against the Wind" is when he sings, "The years rolled slowly past, And I found myself alone, Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends, I found myself further and further from my home, and I Guess I lost my way..." Sadly in life, posers parade as your friend, but they are not.

As a parent and now a grandparent, there's not much more that can break your heart than seeing your child/grandchild struggle to have genuine friends. The older I get, the tighter my circle gets, and the less tolerance I have for frenemies.

How do we know who our "real" friends are? It's amazing that you could spend decades thinking your friendship was real, but with some shallow people they are more shadow than substance.

Frenemies base the strength of their fragile relationships on the depth of how well you agree with them, they are unable to form relationships with people who think differently than they do, your opinion easily offends them when it contradicts their views on any subject, politics, religion or what have you.  Real friends on the other hand, value the benefit of dialogue and appreciate sharing differing views, consider Prov 27:17 for example, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another."  

Sometimes it's easier to spot fake friends than true ones. One red flag is when a “friend” talks condescendingly to you about a mutual friend you have in common. Remember, people who gossip to you will gossip about you. They are incapable of being vulnerable with you. They are more interested in digging into your family & work problems than divulging any personal dirt on themselves; they themselves are always guarded about their own personal life, but they are eager to hear your problems, pretending they care about you but really they have ulterior motives.  Since they can't control you, they want to control how others see you.  

Some people are great at asking for favors, but somehow they struggle to express their appreciation.  It almost makes you feel like you’re being used, well, because you are.  They use you to feel better about themselves, it is a one sided relationship based on their terms. They almost treat their relationships like a rivalry or competition, not to mention the relationships of shallow people are always transactional.

Keep an eye out and pay attention to the folks who will either distance themselves or draw closer to you whenever you improve yourself personally or your circumstances. The folks who withdraw from you when you grow are envious and they can't celebrate your victories, the ones who can celebrate with you are free of jealousy and are genuinely happy for you.

Beyond all what sounds like a lot of gloom & doom here, there’s actually some good that comes from realizing not everyone who acts like they’re your friend isn’t. The best friendships are the ones that stand the test of time, you always pick up right where you left off, there's a mutual respect and appreciation for each other, and a genuine depth of joy whenever either of you does well in life and a shoulder to lean on when life doesn't.

We will be like the people we surround ourselves with, so being selective is important, like Paul wrote in I Cor 15:33, "Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”  The more you surround yourself with people who can cheer you on and rejoice when you achieve your goals, who can sincerely be empathic in tough times, and who can lightheartedly banter with you over the trivial things in life, the more satisfactory relationships you will enjoy.

What you need to know Before you express your appreciation during Pastor's appreciation month:

 

This is pastor appreciation month and I am treated better than I deserve; I feel blessed to be part of a church that loves my family and encourages us, so no sour grapes here from me! I can’t complain about the church we minister with — instead I simply want to lift the curtain and allow you a sneak peek into a world you think you know but you really don’t.

Certainly every profession has its challenges that most outsiders, through no fault of their own, fail to comprehend. Nurses carry heavy workloads enduring long hours and often are unfairly pitted between patients and doctors. School administrators learn early on you will never please everyone. Police officers, often disrespected and challenged by the public they serve and protect, risk their lives to maintain law and order. Serving others is uniquely difficult and feels thankless at times.

Until you have entrusted your livelihood into the hands of volunteers who feel they hold a lot of sway over how you spend your money, where you live, what you drive, how you dress, what you can and cannot say, same for the movies you watch, not to mention decisions they want to make for your whole family, you will never know the stress and the anxiety of many pastors. Pocket-watchers are always curious wondering what pastors do all day -- they wouldn’t know how our time is spent because few pastors will toot their own horn.

Regardless of the size of the congregation, most pastors wake up thinking about their churches, and throughout the day are in prayer for their congregations, emailing or texting with or talking on the phone or in person, and this goes on until they hit their pillow, every single day of every week. This has nothing to do with the multitude of other responsibilities like writing bulletin articles, sermon preparations, organizing events, being a liaison with the community, or recruiting people to serve.

We are available and on call 24/7/365, we never shut our phones off in case of a crisis, we come home early from vacations and miss family meals often. We do not have regular hours, there can be a death, an ER visit to attend to, an emergency counseling session, or an impromptu Bible study -- all scheduling can go out the window without a moment’s notice.

As rewarding as ministry is, there are significant sacrifices and struggles within the home of pastors that many church members take for granted and are unaware of. We don’t clock out at the end of the day and disconnect from work. We don’t have a switch to flip or a conveyor belt to unplug. Our work goes everywhere we go.

Pastoral families forfeit much of their privacy. The pastor’s personal life is made more public than perhaps in any other profession, the church knows your income, your phone number, and much more than church-member’s co-workers know about each other. Often pastor’s children unfairly grow up in a fishbowl, those same kids who are criticized & judged for being wild at times because just like the old saying, “the cobbler’s kids go barefoot.”

Where do pastors find new ideas or the time to prepare “interesting” lessons that captivate everyone’s attention and apply to the whole age-range of the congregation, or even plan out a future sermon series? It’s hard to pump water from an empty well, yet there is precious little extra time to fill your mind and remain creative in this fast paced world. The demands of ministry can drain you spirituality, mentally, and emotionally, yet Sunday rolls around every week and the pulpit won’t wait.

There’s an insecurity many pastors hide deep within, worried they can fulfill their calling. Who could imagine they could stand in the gap between this world and the next, between the temporary and the eternal, and make a difference in the lives of people who treat church attendance as if it were optional?

Not feeling well? Beautiful weather and a good day to hit the lake? Long week and you want to catch up on your sleep Sunday morning? Pastors do not enjoy the luxury of skipping church on a whim.

The pressures real and perceived to deliver relevant, timely, and interesting messages over and over again, carrying the concern of your flock’s souls, worries about lost folks, dealing with antagonism & conflict, managing multiple expectations, planning worship services, balancing other responsibilities, these all can overwhelm anyone soon enough. Few people knock on the pastor’s door asking how they can help, they knock on the door and ask you for more -- if you wonder about pastoral burnout, you don’t have to ask if it’s real.

Ministry truly is a labor of love; it’s complex, demanding, draining, demoralizing at times, yet it’s wonderfully fulfilling and rewarding. Sadly not every pastorate is as wonderful as our family’s experience is these days, but now that you have a better glimpse into pastoral life, hopefully you will feel sincere in showing your pastors you appreciate them. Too many pastors only hear from those who express their disappointments, so if you have a pastor please prioritize telling them how much you appreciate all they and their family do.

Before you use this common phrase think again

  

I've seen several friends all across the spectrum of conservative-liberal/spiritual-secular post the above phrase, and after giving it much thought, I want to share my opinion about the deeper meaning I think I see in this phrase without offending the folks who have shared the phrase.  Just because I don't like this phrase doesn't mean I don't like you.  

A popular, rather cute & clever saying parading about under the guise of being the bigger person, is actually, in my opinion, one of the most condescending, judgmental, critical statements floating around the internet these days, again in my opinion.  Basically what the statement (pictured above) is asserting, while masked in politeness, is that you are above the other person, you are far superior to them, they are really just a mouth breather, MAGA supporter, right-winger, degenerate, liberal, ignorant, backwards, whatever you disagree with person. 

The main problem I see with this phrase: How arrogant to assume you can assess their ability to engage in an argument before you have heard them out?  The statement asserts you know their mind better than they do, before you even try to resolve an issue you get the privilege of determining if they are "mature" enough to grapple with your point of view.  .  

The self-righteous statement is completely disingenuous, you get to pretend that your debate opponent is unworthy of your time because they are simply not as smart as you, they do not represent the same views that rebound and resound throughout your echo-chamber.  I cannot imagine anyone who is confident in their convictions, relying on such a phrase as this.

This cute catchphrase becomes an excuse to discontinue dialogue because you have already devalued the other person's opinion. Obviously, if they were a mature person, they would already believe what you have believed and would repeat what you say and agreed with you, but now thanks to this clever phrase, you no longer have to give them the dignity or validate their opinion. 

It is an easy out, commonly a cowardly excuse to disengage from a discussion from which you are not able to actually defend your own weak position. You pretend to have a position of superiority and pretend that the other person simply is not mature enough to accept or able to comprehend your lofty ideals. 

It is a stance that reeks of the stench of smugness, to me.  This immature phrase has the illusion of maturity, but really once you dig down deep and unpack the sentiment of this phrase, it becomes clear that it is no more than an excuse to avoid dialogue with people who strongly disagree with your perspective.

It is actually very degrading to the other person. To use this phrase is like having the monopoly game get out of jail free card, and you simply look at the other person who is beneath you and say "oh I can’t have this discussion with you because you have strong opinions, which, by the way are offensive."  This petty phase simply illustrates the fact that you are just not ready to have difficult conversations. 

This phrase works well because as an ace in the hole-trumps all phrase, if they shared your perspectives after all, there would be no disagreement or discussion. Therefore, since they do not share your perspective, the question of are they mature enough to have the conversation goes straight out the window. 

Actually, the fact is before you ask questions about other people's depth of maturity and capacity to dialogue civilly, before entering into the discussion, you need to ask questions about your own self, some deep questions. Namely, are you able to entertain the idea that you might be wrong about the topic, or, are you open to changing your own opinion, or are you flexible? If you are not willing to change what you think and believe, it is hypocritical to enter into a conversation that attempts to persuade someone else to change their view and expect them to move into an alignment with your own ideas or with your own views.

So yes, I'm tired of the way people have used/misused this phrase, it may have been well intentioned by the one who coined it and even by some of the people who have shared it, but I have seen it misused more often than not.  A better phrase which might be less euphonic is: Look first at your own motivations and agendas before you question someone else's ability to have a tough conversation.  

Mutuality makes the marriage

 

In one of his best known songs, Elvis sang, “We’re caught in a trap, and I can’t walk out.”  If you’re stuck in a miserable marriage, maybe you are missing out on the miracle of mutuality.  Mature marriages make room for intimacy, encouragement, and celebrating each other’s victories — they also know about the secrets of grace & mercy, therefore the more mutuality you experience, the more enjoyable your marriage becomes.  

Mutuality is actually a Biblical concept.  Paul wrote in I Cor 7:3-4, “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.  For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”  And Paul also wrote in I Cor 11:11, “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman...” 

My wife has an almost instinctive capability to encourage me in my pursuits.  She knows I enjoy writing, for example, and whenever I have a new piece published she instantly shares it on social media and she brags on me, she hugs me and tells me how happy she is for me.  I try to reciprocate, but honestly she outdoes me at every turn.  It’s a gift and she shares it without measure.  

I like to joke and tell her I’m her trophy husband or her eye-candy whenever we have an event we attend with her work; she’s a grant-chair for a local charitable foundation and I’m proud of the work she does.  But, I fuss and pout like an adolescent when I have to “dress up” for those events which I always enjoy -- I get to meet interesting people and whenever there’s food involved it’s always amazing!  

Even though I throw a fit about dressing up, I’m 100% there for my wife and we have a great time.  In fact we pretty much have a great time together whether it’s a night of rubbing shoulders or running errands. Why? Because we enjoy our time together and we want to see each other win.  

It’s not just about you, we all owe it to our children and grandchildren to have the best marriages we possibly can.  Why?  When adults bicker and feud all the time and fail to model mutuality for their children, they set the next generation up for failure and present them with difficult challenges for bonding.  It cannot be overemphasized enough the importance of a strong marriage for building confidence and security in future generations.  

Sometimes we lead best by example.  When was the last time you complimented your spouse, supported them, or bragged on them to others?   The good news is if you’ve lost those traits in your marriage, it is your choice to renew or reverse or revitalize or do whatever you need to do to improve the relationship.  Otherwise, if you’ve lost all of your optimism, what’s the point?  

We have found in over 35 years of marriage that being there for each other and being best friends makes all the difference in the world.  We support each other in our work, our dreams, and our personal goals -- we actually enjoy cooking together, traveling together, and living life together.  Mutuality is the magic ingredient of marriage, I know firsthand and I hope the same for you too.  

Blowout to burgers: merging several loves

Early one morning on the way to pump concrete I had a blowout on the pump, the durable trailer tire is rated for 10,000 pounds and when I pulled over to look, the remaining tire looked like a shredded sunflower hanging on the rim.

More challenges immediately followed.  I had to drop the pump and run home to grab the spare, when I got back, I tried to start the pump so I could lower its outriggers to raise up the rear to change the flat.  My battery was dead on the pump.  I pulled the truck around to the pump to jump start the pump, either my cables were bad or the truck battery wasn't strong enough to start the pump.

I called the contractor I was pumping for, explained through my embarrassment the situation and asked if his crew could try with their work truck to jump the pump.  They drove from the jobsite to me quickly.  

A momentary victory was short-lived.  We succeeded in jumping our pump with their truck, changed the flat, but then on the way to their job the pump died again.  I apologized once more, pushed back concrete at the plant once again, and ran to the parts-store for a new battery, which was out of stock.  

I went to the next parts-store, who had our battery, and when it came time to remove the old battery, we couldn't budge it.  I called our salesman who talked me through it, it required loosing the cold air return lines, which I didn't tighten the rubber boots back properly after we reinstalled the battery and each time the pump switched strokes the return lines on the diesel motor whistled loudly.  I texted the mechanic at the pump factory in California and asked him about the whistling, he texted "That is bad, you have to fix that immediately!"  I wiggled the rubber boot that goes on the metal pipe of the cold air return and readjusted the clamps and solved that dilemma.  

Of course at this point, it had to rain  We were pumping three sets of footers on the same street on adjoining lots.  When I say rain, I don't mean sprinkle.  It was a deluge.

  In my haste to get loaded up and strap down the hoses, I forgot to pick up the wooden blocks I set under the outriggers, these blocks we have had on the truck since our second job, I know it sounds silly to be attached to theses scrap 4x4 blocks, but they held a special memory too, I salvaged those blocks the day we pumped the wrong mix and it took two hours to prime out and another 7 hours to beat out the plugged up hoses.  Lessons were learned that day!

I decided quickly that I would not waste the challenging experience of the day I had a major blowout.  You've heard the old saying, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."  When a concrete pumper has a major blowout that ruins the rim, instead of lemons to lemonade, I say "Blowouts to burgers!"  

This project is meaningful to me because it brings several of my loves together, woven like a quilt, first, the spare parts for making this grill are from the pump, namely the bent rim but the post for this grill is an old reducer.  For those who don't pump, the reducer attaches to the outlet on the pump where the concrete initially is discharged from the pump.    Concrete is what I set the grill in, in the backyard.

So far pumping and concrete, two of my great loves have been involved in creating a grill, and of course grilling is one of my loves, and then another love of mine is welding.  I took four years of welding in high school and had ambitions of welding as a career in my teens.

I can’t think of anything more rewarding than to recreate creatively taking ruin, salvaging the chaos and then utilize and cause something useful and productive from a discouraging situation.  I love this homemade grill that transformed an experience of being stranded to solving the solution of when we are starving!

A new addition to the homemade grill, a concrete table: