Farewell to Facebook

 Since Facebook isn’t an airplane terminal, there’s no need for me to announce my departure.  When our oldest son left for college I had joined Facebook to keep up with his goings-on while he was living 12 hours away from home (read, dad wanted to monitor/spy on his son’s activities being hidden from mom & dad), fast forward 20 years and I now am in what you could call a digital-detox.

My escape from social media wasn’t planned or purposeful, it simply happened as I went from looking at Facebook daily to now weekly, as what once served as a convenient way to stay engaged with others became a source of anxiety and distress.  Yes it’s nice to catch up with folks living far away or to promote your church or small business on social media, but with all of its polarization, perpetual drama, and deep-fake AI videos, the saturation of social media exhausted me as every armchair expert weighed in on the frenzy of every current crisis.  

So yes, I gradually lost interest in social media, much like outgrowing or drifting away from a childhood hobby.  The lure of social media lost its luster as it became more like a tangled up yo-yo, it was no longer fun for me, instead it was overwhelming and frustrating.  

My break from social media is surprisingly refreshing, I feel more relaxed both mentally and emotionally.  With some reflection I realized the smartest, most interesting and successful people who I know personally in real life, they themselves do not post much if anything at all on social media.  

So, who was I trying to impress, who was impressive to me, and what did any of this keyboard-chatter matter?  These questions and more crystallized that not only was social media a waste of my time, it was a thief who robbed me of my peace of mind as well.  

Beyond the lurkers who simply stalk everyone else’s activities, there is a sinister element to social media, like an event horizon it sucks people in by feeding on our FOMO, social media is engineered to hook us and captivate us and capture our attention.  Recently I realized that there’s not much on the digital frontier of social media that matters enough to me if I miss out on it, years ago I lost interest in cable news on TV as it was too gloomy, depressing, and it amounted to nothing more than doom-mongering, and now I view social media through a similar lens.  

You might be asking, “How will you stay relevant, current, or be ‘in the know’ if you quit social media?” I know this disconnection from social media probably sounds like the proverbial “burying my head in the sand” scenario to many of you, and maybe it is, though it doesn’t feel like my head is being buried, instead it feels more like shedding welding goggles.  

Social media is a clever distraction, sure it has some usefulness but it is not a replacement for real life or for thinking for yourself.  Therefore, you might find it helpful to ask yourself, what are the benefits I am receiving from the online-information I consume, am I healthier or happier by what information I take in, and is my consumption of social media a choiceworthy use of my time?   Finally, consider Paul’s admonition in Eph 5:15-16, “15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.”

I've been drinking this daily for 6 months now, and...

Tammy and I have been making efforts to eat healthier since we started the keto diet.  I'm learning being healthier (diet wise) isn't simply restricted to removing what we take in.  Eating well also includes adding what you are missing. 

I'm not sure how I went all my life without learning about kefir, but since I found out about it six months ago, I have been consuming it daily.  Kefir isn't a name-brand, it is a dairy product, and it is much like a liquid yogurt.  It has a taste similar to sour cream, yet it's almost sweet.  I drink the "plain" unflavored kefir, but it is available in several flavors.   You can get it in low fat, 1% , or whole milk, I prefer the whole milk version.  

What are the benefits of drinking kefir?  It is high in protein, it is very nutritious, it helps regulate your blood sugar, and it boosts your immune system.  Also, instead of taking a probiotic in a capsule form, like swallowing a daily supplement, kefir is an excellent source of the probiotics we all need to have a healthy gut.  Yes, kefir has all the benefits of milk like the vitamin D, calcium, and other minerals to strengthen your bones, but kefir has more diversity in its probiotics than milk or yogurt, and kefir helps your gut fight off bad bacteria like E. coli and salmonella.

After my first drink of it, I was not a fan.  By time I finished off the first bottle, somehow I loved the flavor.  I actually drink about 8-10 ounces daily, and I feel healthier for doing it.  My gut feels better, and not to sound gross but it has helped my digestive track and I can tell a difference there.  It is known to help with diarrhea and irritable bowel syndrome.  

Kefir is good for you, it's filling and satisfying when you feel a little hungry, and it does help you to feel better.  Coincidence or not, the root word for kefir is derived from the Turkish word for "feel good."  If you want to feel better and be a little healthier, maybe give it a try...  

The heaviest weight we carry

 

As he broke the world record in squats, my friend looked more like he was in a boxing match than in a powerlifting competition.  His eyes looked like they were branded by a hot-poker when his blood vessels ruptured as he strained to stand up, his nose followed in suit and it streamed like a leaky faucet as a crimson flow gushed over his upper lip, all resulting from the immense stress on his overwhelmed cardiovascular system, even his face darkened into a newborn’s shade of purple like when they are desperately gasping for their first breath.  

Unlike my friend’s weightlifting competition though, there is no trophy waiting for the people clinging tightly to the wrongs they’ve suffered. The heaviest load any of us will struggle under is also the most pointless weight we bear, the worst burden we will ever carry is a grudge.  

The stronger the connection we create between our injuries and our identity, the harder it becomes to let go of our grudges.  As they drag us down, like wearing overalls in the swimming pool, our Herculean-held-grudges always lead to the unhealthy hope that our enemy will suffer greatly, but when your enemy finally drowns, your guarantee to swim gracefully, well your success sinks even deeper.  Somehow in our eager anticipation of their downfall we overlooked our own imperfections. Much like a novice reading a milky-looking X-ray, with a log in our eye, we failed to diagnose our own problem by focusing on the person who let us down, hurt us, or failed to live up to the double standards which we held them to but most likely neglected to live-out ourselves personally.  

Why allow the past (that you can’t go back and change) to continue to rob you of your joy today & defeat your future?  As long as our offenders are always the ones playing Judas in our personal stories we will remain miserable. More importantly, maturity on the other hand recognizes the betrayer in the mirror as well as the benefits of pardoning our offenders; most likely the person who is keeping you awake at night rarely if ever thinks about you, so quit giving them anymore of your attention.

Believe it or not, carrying a grudge isn’t the best for nurturing our spiritual health, as it has been said, “Carrying a grudge is like being stung to death by a single bee.”  Therefore, the first step in purging our despair and moving toward true wellbeing is to jettison, eject, discard, or simply put, to drop our grudges.

Why does this even matter? If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, then misery is a bridge on that road, a bridge which we’ve built with the grudges that we refused to lay down.  As Jesus says in Matthew 6:14-15, “14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Why Fatherhood matters and what's to be done

                                       

Does it really matter to you what gender the Bible uses to describe God when you are in the midst of disorientating discouragement, like when you lose your job or face the daunting struggles of any major crisis? Do you remember the controversy surrounding “The Shack” when William P. Young's representation of “Papa God” was an older woman and Young’s depiction of the Holy Spirit was also that of a woman?

Over the years I’ve noticed plenty of people calling God mother or “her,” but then I wonder why the very people who portray God as feminine in His nature refuse to exchange or swap the given gender describing Satan or any male enemy of God throughout the Bible. That inconsistency, their glaring absence of labeling other male designated individuals as a female, probably tells you all you need to know about their agenda.

God is Spirit and is unlike humanity in His nature, but for whatever reason God is revealed throughout the Scriptures with masculine pronouns, and He is often portrayed as our Father. Take it for what it’s worth, but psychologists tell us our view of God or how we understand God is often filtered through our relationship with our own earthly father, perhaps because fathers typically provide our family units with a sense of comfort, confidence, safety and well-being.

The very fabric of society is woven securely through the protection and provision of fatherhood. Fatherhood matters, and there’s a reason it is under attack. This assault on fathers is a tactical move from the evil one to distort, devalue and minimize the value of fatherhood. “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.” (Galatians 1:3-5)

Look at any of the sectors in our civilization that are crumbling, and you’ll trace the initial collapse back to the void left by absentee fathers. Prisons are filled with inmates who lacked a strong father-figure in the home. Likewise our schools struggle to discipline unruly students who are in the same boat, and some messy marriages can trace their struggles and problems back to a spouse who didn’t have a strong father growing up.

Yes the pressures of fatherhood are intimidating. Yes it feels thankless at times. Yes it requires men to be sacrificial. And yes it takes effort. But then again nothing in life that’s worthwhile comes easy. If your dad has already passed on, do your best to honor his legacy. If he is still alive, he doesn’t need another tie or a cheesy Father’s Day card, and he really doesn’t want you to spend any money on him at all — so leave those fishing lures on the shelf. What he does deserve is more respect, and what he really needs more than your appreciation is your prayers.

...Originally published in the Timesnews you can click here to read it

Overcoming Intimidation: Gaining my culinary confidence

 

Tonight we grilled a 3 pound tomahawk and it occurred to me that I am no longer intimidated by preparing and cooking food that I would categorize as extraordinary, unique, special, or what you could call gourmet.  This wasn't always the case, once I was afraid to try my hand at dishes that would not be normally "homecooked" meals but I remember what dish helped me over my timidity over messing up food.   

My boost of culinary confidence came from, of all things, making saganaki, the famous flaming cheese that is a staple at many Greek restaurants.  Saganaki is a rather expensive appetizer at the restaurant and few restaurants within 100 miles of us even offer it.  Saganaki requires a special cheese and certain preparations and methods, but I mastered it after only a few tries.  Tammy and I had a taste for it, we googled the instructions, sourced the kasseri cheese and took a stab at it, and I'm glad we did.  I've played around with a few ways of making it and I've improved on the recipes I studied and now Tammy and I make it several times a month, almost like it's nothing.  

I have enjoyed this lack of intimidation when it comes to tackling good food that we might not normally try, and I truly enjoy cooking with Tammy, and cooking new and exciting meals that we really enjoy.  I guess I took the approach, "What's the worst that could happen?"  So the food doesn't turn out and we toss it in the garbage, who really cares?  I've had a few meals that didn't turn out so great, but those are mere fractions of the overall great experiences we've had cooking.  My encouragement is to give it a try, if there's a meal you've longed for and feel fearful, you lose more by not trying to cook it than you could lose by attempting it and failing at it.  

Once you find out how easy lobster is to cook at home, you'll think twice about ordering it off the menu when you eat out.  The idea of cooking lobster shouldn't be terrifying, it is one of the easiest dishes to cook.  

We enjoy meals at home for a reasonable price that we never could afford at a nice restaurant.  For example, a frenched rack of lamb is under $40 at Sam's club, it includes around 14-16 or so servings, a serving portion of three lamb "lollypops" is over $50 at most restaurants, so we are getting about 5 times as many portions for about $10 less than if we ate out..  The same is true for Chilian Sea Bass, a few ounce portion is around $40 at the restaurant, if you buy it at the seafood store or frozen from the grocery store, you'll get a pound of Sea Bass for the same price.  How about fillet mignon, Prime Rib, or even a brisket?  It's far more reasonable to make it at home, but even more so is the rewarding feeling and the sense of accomplishment that you overcame your fears and made an incredible meal that you're proud of, that is priceless.  

If you have the stomach for it, check out the videos below, the videos are not everything we've cooked but only a sample, I share these videos to whet your appetite and to hopefully inspire you take up the challenge of cooking something difficult but delightful.  Bon Appetit!  

 

How to feed your faith and defend it:

 

First of all, thank you to everyone who has already bought a copy and thank you to those who have shared my new book on your social media.  

Every age or generation presents challenges to our beliefs, but one common difficulty we all encounter is the rejection of absolutes that apply to everyone – everywhere.  People who do not agree with you spiritually speaking will simply say something like “that’s true for you, but not for me...” as if that settles the matter.   Is that statement valid, are there ways we can respond to this, and more important why does it even matter?  Top this off with the momentum that a rapidly advancing A.I. has generated and the challenges and opportunities from A.I., and this is where my book comes in.  I hope you’ll look it over on Amazon and consider how this book can help you clarify what you think you know about truth, absolutes, and the tools provided within in this book for defending your faith in the age of A.I. 

Click here to find my book on Amazon

Churches can’t fake this….

 

Just across our state line over in Weber City there once was a charming restaurant called Gasthaus Edelweiss that served homemade German food and I miss it terribly.  Their tiny place was cozy & quaint, replete with rustic furnishings and German folk music playing in the background, it was idyllic, but it was more than the delightful decor that captivated me -- there was a substantial quality there that drew me in.

If you never made it there to eat, their unique atmosphere had the right blend aesthetics & ambiance, the wife spoke with a thick German accent as she presented the menu with a vibrant flair, she had a feisty yet endearing-attitude while her husband, an Eastman retiree, rarely left the kitchen where he quietly cooked and cleaned.  Their food was always amazing and I know the real deal when it comes to European cuisine, having eaten plenty of it my whole entire life, my mother-in-law is from Germany and my maternal-grandparents were first generation immigrants whose parents emigrated from Germany and Bohemia.  

Why was this enchanting restaurant so special to me?  Authenticity is what really describes the experience of Gasthaus Edelweiss, their food and the folks running it and their authenticity attracted me and brought me back, their authenticity was why my wife and I loved to take friends and family there and it’s why we miss it and still talk about it long after their restaurant closed.  Other than the closing of their doors, I wish more people could say the same about their experience with church because authenticity is the secret “ingredient” that’s missing in too many churches these days.  

Churches can imitate efforts at generating gatherings or emulate events engineered to wow or dazzle and they can even fabricate circumstances and experiences that are lively or enticing, but churches can’t fake authenticity.  When we run our churches like they are another division of some business or when we focus on pleasing our “customers,” we forfeit authenticity -- I’m all about being attractive to visitors, but what is it exactly we are inviting people to?  

We somehow mistake church for the clothes we wear on Sunday, the pews we sit in, the lightshow & presentation or the name over the door, but in our pursuit of the externals instead of the eternals, we’ve taken our eyes off of Jesus, His Word, and the power of participating with His community.  There’s a reason why so many spiritually-wounded people are cynical, jaded, and skeptical of organized religion, it’s because there's a difference between going to church and being the church.  There is no saccharin-sugar-substitute for feeling cared for, cared about, and loved through real friendships, relationships, or mutually edifying and encouraging each other, or mentoring and growing together, none of these community based essentials can be fabricated or faked.  

When it comes to church-life too often we try to find spiritual satisfaction with microwaved meals or settling for grocery store aisle samples instead of savoring the banquet God has in mind for us; maybe if we focused on being more authentic we could set a table people would long for and miss when they were away, as they say, the proof is in the pudding, “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!  Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!” (Ps 34:8)