Should you read “Tucker”?

 

Without glossing over his mistakes and freely sharing his regrets, Tucker shares his thoughts and feelings openly, these often feeling like stream of consciousness ideas are woven throughout as Moore brings out tidbits of information and background on Tucker throughout the entire book.  It was a somewhat bittersweet read, I’ve been a huge fan for years, but there’s a sophomoric side to Tucker that lacked class and was disappointing as well.  

Whether you think Tucker Carlson is brilliant or a bombastic buffoon, scholar or showman, insightful iconoclast or shortsighted grifter, you might consider reading Moore’s biography.  Will this book help you determine if Tucker is sincere or a snake oil salesman, a sage or simpleton?    The book is an opportunity to form a better informed opinion of one of the most influential people in today’s marketplace of ideas.  

Carlson has been labeled a racist, bigot, and homophobe.  It could be a calculated ploy or something otherwise, but it’s telling that Tucker allowed Chadwick Moore the opportunity to write this bio considering Moore is an openly gay man.  Tucker's longtime TV producer, Wells, also is gay, and the book goes to great lengths to expound on Well's "marriage" and the close working relationship Tucker shares with Wells.  

To have an honest critique of the man, don’t just hate a caricatures of Tucker, that is immature.  Moore is no Walter Isaacson or Ron Chernow but he’s good enough for what he does here.

What Moore does here is give a background into Tucker you probably haven’t been exposed to.  Charmed or privileged, you decide.  He definitely had opportunities many do not, but he also worked hard to make the most of the advantages he received.

You learn about Carlson and the life that shaped him. From his mother abandoning him at a young age, to being raised by his permissive father, to growing up in California, to his educational background, you get an inside look at Tucker you won’t find anywhere else. 

You might be surprised to read about his close friendship with Hunter Biden.  His continued admiration of Rachel Maddow.  Or his stint working at PBS. Or how he failed to graduate from college. Or his decision to abstain from alcohol after years of functional alcoholism.  Or, that he doesn’t own a TV, wear deodorant, or socks.  

Why should we all read this book? Carlson held record ratings on Fox, and his Twitter/X videos have had hundreds or millions of views. He is a lightning rod controversial subject, but he’s not without influence. Cultural differences aside, anyone with the audience capacity Carlson has should be looked into beyond one’s personal preferences. 

Tucker Carlson is just about as polarizing is Donald Trump, but he seems to be way more interesting. As with any celebrity or public figure, you see a side of them they want you to see. I don’t doubt this book is promotional for the author and the subject, and you have to filter what you read, but even so I think this book holds value.  

Fortunately the book isn’t presented as an idyllic gushy “oh look at perfect me” by any stretch.  Even though I appreciated learning more about him, I lost some respect for Tucker while reading the book.  

His gratuitous swearing seems juvenal.  For someone who makes his living in communication, he should know swearing is lazy.  I cringed at the repeated F bombs, not because I’m a prude but the repeated swearing felt so tacky, tasteless, and it simply lacked class. It seemed like a huge contradiction to the persona he tires to portray.  

In the end, the book left me with mixed feelings.  I like Tucker and his approach to current events.  I didn't like everything he had to say or how he said it when he was being quoted in the book, which I guess is healthy, I'm a fan (still) but I'm not a follower.  

Why travel: The magic of the moment

Tammy and I just returned from the U.P of Michigan.  It is a land of birch trees, hardwood-forests, lakes, and friendly people.  Very friendly!  My eyes were opened to more than just God's beautiful creation as we sat alongside Lake Superior at the uppermost tip of the U.P.  

I had an epiphany of sorts as we lazily strolled along the rocky shoreline of a lake that looks ocean-like when you try to take it all in.  For the first time in my life, I feel like I finally found the truest value in traveling.  I was so inspired by the sensation, I sat down at a beachside picnic table and tried desperately to capture thoughts that were rushing a thousand miles an hour through my brain.  

If asked to choose between buying a new car or an equally expensive trip, the practical side of us logically would lean towards getting a car.  The practical side of us would practically scream, "buy the car!"  You can't keep the trip or the travel, so why spend the money, time and effort to travel?  What if instead of seeing traveling as an optional luxury, we saw it as an activity that needs to be prioritized? 

 

Traveling might just be the best way we refresh and relax, but that is a paradox because, traveling is expensive, inconvenient, it's down right exhausting.  Booking flights only to zip though the terminal hoping you are on time.  Renting rooms that are less than spotless, at times.  You miss your own pillow, the comforts of home, and the ability to raid your own fridge anytime you want to.  

So with all the hazards and hassles, why travel?  Or better yet, why is travel good for your soul?

A change of scenery is good from time to time, even though it comes at a cost.  What is about travel that makes it so beneficial and therapeutic? 

Yes, new and different sights stimulate our minds, causing us to see life in a new way, to think new thoughts, but more than these, travel causes us to grapple with time.  Specifically, to wrestle with the here and now.  

It is difficult to be present in the moment, and to be aware of being present in the here and now.  Travel is an intangible gift, you can't hold onto it, but you enjoy it all the more because it is passing, but you are in the moment, present, and alive.  

We can't keep anything of traveling.  Souvenirs are merely talisman, miserable ones at that lacking any magic at all -- they are keepsakes, touchstones, but in the end just mere reminders.  Travel itself, the eating foreign foods, seeing the unfamiliar, meeting people who speak-think-act-sound differently, you can't package up those experiences at a roadside tourist trap.  

Travel reminds us of the transient nature of life.  Visiting, journeying, the pilgrimage -- the act of traveling itself is so beneficial and necessary for our wellbeing because it is perhaps the one time in our lives we are attentive to "the moment."  Yes, the trip is stored in our memories, but what is in our mind isn't transferable with an exchange of currency, it can't be mounted on the wall, frozen in place, or saved for later.  

Travel is about "now."  It is exciting, stimulating, interesting, entertaining, only as it happens.  

We live in the now but our minds are perpetually shifting elsewhere, ebbing and flowing like the tide, drifting to the past or obsessing about the future, or daydreaming about how "if only..."  It is while we travel we are sensitive or perhaps more sensitized to the present.  

Throughout life, most of the time we either grieve past loses, or anticipate a better future.  We stay consumed with a past we can't change and a future we aren't promised.  Travel has the element of the red dot on every map in every rest area that declares, "You are Here"  We only savor this "You are Here" element in transit, in the movement of travel.

Whether it's the sand between our toes, or trying to see all of an unending forest, or to take in all of the strange and delightful tastes, sights, smells, or to feel the warm caress of the ocean breeze on your entire body, to pause for the musical sound of a roadside waterfall, these all cease when the trip ends.  Try as we might, we can't recreate these experiences at home.   

We can try to re-live these wonderous experiences in our memories, but we never seem to be able to duplicate the pure joy of the moment, of the discovery, the exploration, or the amazement we experience while we travel.  That experience we long to embrace eternally is too temporary.    

To pause and reflect on being in the here and now, to actually enjoy the day for what it is, to take a break from the daily grind of chores, responsibilities, and the other obligations of life and to really enjoy the moment.  To do otherwise would be like farming the land in season and out, but never harvesting the crops.  

This is the gift travel imparts, it is harvesting the fruits of our labors.  Maybe this is why traveling together multiplies the joy of travel.  You witness the smile, see the relaxation, experience the satisfaction together -- you know what you have in the moment is special yet now there is an external confirmation to let you know this moment is real.

You'll remember the moment better, together, with more clarity and celebration as together you reflect on the trip.  There's always more fun & laughter traveling with your ever-after.

Appreciating what the locals take for granted daily, soaking it all in, knowing more than likely you'll never be here again, this sensation is invaluable, maybe worth more than getting this year's newest gadget of the day.  This gift of travel is priceless for our personal growth and development, it helps us appreciate the here and now.  

The mysterious rapture we feel as we travel enriches our souls like nothing else on earth.  Our eyes eagerly devouring the landscape, envisioning the vividness of it all, taking in a sky that on this day seems somehow bluer and brighter.  The treetops all seem taller.  The lakes all look clearer.  And our troubles all feel smaller.  Even the flowers, grass, and simples stones capture our interest and attention like never before, as if we had emerged from a dank cave and removed the blindfolds we've worn our entire life.  

When else can you recall allowing yourself the child-like luxury of lingering around, for example, to admire architecture that otherwise would be deemed ordinary?  It's ironic we pause to even look at this or that while we travel when you consider how a week on the road flies by faster than a shooting star whenever you travel near or far.

Somehow, standing in the shadow of an old statue, sipping whatever from a paper cup, it now tastes better than when we are drinking the same beverage from our best crystal or ceramic mugs at home.  Shuffling silently though a museum or an art gallery, suddenly our steps have renewed purpose.     

Eventually all of us make one final trip, but before then, travel far and wide and soak up as much of this world as you can.  Travel is no longer optional in my book, it is the best gift we can give ourselves.  

Raising A culture of Unruly Rudeness: At what cost?

Without trying to sound like the prophet of doom, we aren’t preparing our children for independence, we are preparing them for incarceration. Everyone pays the price when we devalue discipline. 

Certainly not every child these days is a hellion, so at the risk of sounding like a crotchety old curmudgeon, the problem of disrespectful children is out of control. To be clear, I’m talking about poor attitudes, troublemaking, and the rejection of respect that is rampant today, not rambunctious children simply being innocent kids.

People are fed up with ill-mannered children, not energetic kids. For example, school is back in session but we never seem to have enough bus drivers. But this perennial issue isn’t because we’re lacking qualified drivers as a society; few people are willing to tolerate contemptuous children or the lack of support when it comes to disciplining them.

The difficulty in recruiting/retaining bus drivers (or substitute teachers) highlights how malignant our problem with disrespect has become. Somehow we’ve managed to raise a generation of punks who our own grandparents would be ashamed of and no one seems to bat an eye.

Why have school districts across the country abolished disciplining students? As a child if I misbehaved at school, I could expect to be disciplined at school and then again at home. Maybe schools have backed off on correction because they have lost parental support, fearing the wrath of helicopter and bulldozer parents.

On top of that, we’ve nurtured a generation of entitled “adults” who’ve never quite grown up. Man, I do sound like a grumpy old man but I’m tired of our cultural immaturity and the fact that we are ignoring it. This problem isn’t going to fix itself and it is only going to get worse -- we are on a dangerous trajectory which won’t end well without a course correction.

Do manners really matter? Is being polite a virtuous trait? How have we failed as a culture to instill courteousness and consideration in our youth?

What has corrupted our uncivilized youth? Like Dennis Rodman's disclaimer nearly 30 years ago, “I’m no role model,” we can’t blame it on Homer & Bart Simpson’s influence either, even if the Simpsons is the longest running TV series, racking up the most seasons and episodes of any show in history. Perhaps prioritizing etiquette, values, and ethics are all on a downward spiral because of our decline in church attendance?

Where does the societal responsibility lay for rearing respectful young adults? At our feet, we can’t expect our schools or our churches to raise our kids for us. Respect begins in the home.

Many parents struggle with actually parenting, because they are tempted to be their child’s friends instead, but these “cool” parents aren’t doing their children any favors. “Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death. A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again. Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” (Prov 19:18-20)

Not many people “like” discipline, self-discipline is a struggle. Proper diet and exercise are fundamental to our wellbeing, yet why do people often pay for personal trainers and coaches? Because they want someone to do the discipline for them, but others can’t discipline for us, it has to be us.

We will either endure the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret -- one is beneficial and one is not, you decide which is best. Hebrews 12:11, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

When parents raise ill-mannered disrespectful children, we all suffer. Prov 29:15-17, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. When the wicked increase, transgression increases, but the righteous will look upon their downfall. Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.”


The deeper problem contributing to the rise of rude children might not be poor family dynamics, a lack of leadership in our schools, or people neglecting church attendance. Instead the real bedrock issue is, to our own detriment, no one believes in consequences anymore.

The disheartening rage over "Rich men north of Richmond"

 

The internet has exploded once again.  Beware of the right-wingers! is the mantra of every liberal outlet this weekend.  Why are they in an uproar? Everyone that works for a living is posting Oliver Anthony's anthem, "Rich men north of Richmond" 

Obviously the location north of Richmond is Washing DC.  Who can argue with Anthony that the Swamp is corrupt and the politicians we voted in are loathsome scum?  Not me.  He's hit a nerve and everyone's feeling the pain.  

What we do with the pain is vital for our mental and emotional wellbeing. 

It’s easier to criticize a creative work of art than it is to create something yourself, the song is catchy it’s well written and performed flawlessly, it's very well done.  My goal isn't to critique the music.  The problem seems to be a cultural bait & switch:  Bad men in DC, to unfair wages, to woe is me.  

My overall guess is Anthony wants to motivate us, but to what and how to?  He probably doesn't know the answers to get us out of our problems anymore than any of us know how.   He's fed up like the rest of us.  

His vocals are amazing, the main point of the song is spot on, so I'm not criticizing Anthony, I'm raising an awareness that’s obviously missing in the conversation over capitalism and the fact for a lot of people hard work doesn't seem to payoff.  I am a capitalist, but I'm also a realist and I'm keenly tuned into the feelings I hear expressed every day.  

Life is hard.  The system is rigged.  There are no easy answers and I can't pretend to have the answers to the problems with getting ahead in life.  The song  "Rich men north of Richmond" is just one example of the angst that everyone is feeling these days.  My goal here is to address my fears and concerns for the mental & emotional wellbeing that come along when we feel powerless and oppressed.  

Any advice I could offer always can be labeled as "that's easier said than done" or looked upon as "who are you to say?"   There are no easy answers to the problems we all face these days.  But I worry about how we are making matters worse for ourselves when we don't ask deeper questions or analyze how our rage without action consumes us then cripples us.  

I believe Anthony is well-intentioned and has every right to voice his well thought out and accurate opinion.  But if nothing changes for you after you digest the song, you'll be in a worse headspace than you were before you memorized the song, and that worries me.  

I’m not interested in fault finding or finding flaws in the song or the musician, it’s concern for the audience I'm take issue with. Compliance, is still compliance even if you complain about it, but are we hurting ourselves further by our reactions to the situation while we are at a loss for a response?  

There is no call to action, not anywhere it seems.  I love Tucker Carlson, he raises these same issues we hear in this song and more, but I have yet to hear words to live by from Tucker or anyone.  I do not know what is the best course of action to take to fix the system, but I do know we are crippling ourselves as a culture emotionally by our woundedness coupled to our inaction. 

I have a high tolerance for other people's pain on most issues, but not so much on this issue.  I feel anxious and worried for the young people just getting started, and it hurts to see people I know and love trapped in the quicksand of misery.  My fear and concern for everyone is that if his message doesn't inspire anyone to action then the inaction that follows the rage truly is more demoralizing than the situation itself.  

There’s a world of difference between sounding like an angry teenager who’s mad at mom and dad and a mature adult who takes responsibility for their life, and here again I'm taking about the audience not the musician.  The resulting problem with songs like this is they typically leave the crowd in a victim mentality, mentally & emotionally immobilized.  

Please ask yourself: What changes when you feel fed up with the man keeping you down?  Nothing. You’ll still clock in Monday morning, only angrier and more fed up.  But how does that help you?

The weekend will pass, your paycheck half gone to taxes and you feel helpless. Feeling worse about your situation isn't healthy.  Failure to take a risk to is a failure to reap the rewards. Over time, enviously stewing in feelings of weakness instead of being defiant against the problems or The Man, begins to leave one feeling defeated.  

My criticism isn’t leveled at the musician, and it's not meant to be harsh.  When we jump on the bandwagon “the man is keeping me down” it only seems to increase our emotional suffering.  Pouting about the Man feels good over the weekend but then Monday comes and that pouting turns to self-loathing, and you begin to hate yourself for you've let the Man do to you. 

I wish it was as easy as saying "Toss your tea in the harbor, refuse to participate in a system that you sustain, start your own company, stand together and make a difference." But I know those words ring empty and smack of pride.  

Whatever you choose, to do something different or not on Monday morning, I know that wallowing in self-misery isn't what anyone wants for themself.  All I want to do here is ask that everyone sees the personal harm we do to ourselves when we only look at our problems and we don't look for solutions.  

When they talk about you/How to sift through petty conversations & be a better friend

 

It’s slightly ironic that people in our region are more likely to believe you if you say you spotted a Bigfoot than if you claim to have seen a mountain lion.  I actually saw a mountain lion here in Kingsport, it ran out right in front of me while I was driving, plain as day, yet one of the neighbors asked if I also saw a unicorn as well.  

Which is easier for us to see in others, the good or the bad? Somehow we’ve unwisely come to the point in our culture where we eagerly accept bad news about others and we tend to see the worst in people immediately. Conversely, we tirelessly wait for their “true colors” to come out if they seem to be behaving nicely. 

Most people will blindly listen to someone slam us and they will carelessly deem we are guilty instantly-- much quicker than they will ever believe our success stories.   I’m not sure I understand why we struggle with this willfully, but if someone tells us the preacher’s teenage daughter is pregnant, unthinkingly we don’t question it, but if we hear the child was an honor roll student, suddenly we are skeptical.  

It’s bad enough when immature people spread trash-talk like politicians poisoning the well and slinging mud in a primary debate, it’s worse when we hastily entertain these accusations. Without even analyzing what we’ve heard or “going to the source” we often pass on this embarrassing information so others can “pray more intelligently.”  Remember James 1:26 and the warning to control what we say, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.”

We are quick to gossip, judge, and quick to scandalize -- like we read in Prov 16:28, “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.”  Shame on us when we recklessly ruin other people’s reputations.   

Mature people, on the other hand, know how to ask the right questions when they hear something troubling and they know how to practice discretion.  Mature people also have enough common sense and integrity to steer clear of toxic conversations.  Proverbs 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

You already wonder what slanderous people say about you when you are absent, but ask yourself when someone is sharing scandalous information about a common companion with you, why are they telling me this bit about this other person and why at this time?  Why would they try to smear this other person’s reputation now? Also it’s good to ask yourself, does this bad report match up with what you’ve personally experienced over the long run with the person in question?  

A mature person knows how to filter through what they hear and they know how to interpret motives.  Therefore, pause and think about it the next time someone starts talking poorly about other people you know because you will see what you want to see in others, if you want it long enough.  

There's a popular meme that summarizes the ease at which people will spread false information about us, and how we can respond as mature adults: 

Finally Finding out who really fathered me

 

(Left to right, me, Ken, Virgil, Cecil Cottongim.  It was the last time the three brothers saw each other)

For the life of me I'll never know why or understand Cecil, my dad, told me at the age of 11 that my mom had an affair with one of his brothers.  True or not, why would any adult tell their child about such a scandalous event, so close to home?  It seems demented to me to burden a child with this information.  Cecil didn't stop with that story either, he went on with countless stories of my mom's infidelity.  

Soon as an 11 year old I started doing the math, and the timing seemed awfully close to when the stork delivered me.  For over 40 years the question hung out there for me, who actually was my biological father, Cecil or his brother?  If you've known me long or well at all, you've heard me joke about this with phrases like "My uncle-daddy" and not being sure which one was my dad, the guy who raised me or his sinister brother who Cecil demonized till the day he died.  

Thanks to modern technology and the wonders of DNA, the big mystery is finally solved, Tammy gifted me with the 23 & me DNA test and tonight we read the results for the first time.  It's somewhat anticlimactic, after all I'm 55 years old, Cecil is dead, the living brother is in his 80's, and what would it really change if Cecil wasn't my "real" father?  

It turns out, all that awkwardness and questioning and curiosity I carried with me over the decades like a wooden-nickel was useless.  Cecil is my dad and his brother came out on the DNA test as "Uncle," it didn't read "Daddy-uncle" or anything close to daddy, much like my uncle said all of the many years, all along.  My uncle is my uncle and no more.  If you read this uncle, sorry I doubted you.  

Knowing the truth now feels weird.  I'm not happy or sad, nor disappointed or elated.  I didn't know what to expect, I didn't really consider how I would feel, one way or the other.  It just feels, weird.  Almost numb, but yes tonight, weird.   Maybe a little disoriented?

It is rather strange in a sense after these years of wondering about it to finally have a definitive answer, and I suppose you could say to have closure now too.  I guess I should feel embarrassed for considering, contemplating, or entertaining the idea that my uncle could've fathered me.  I need to forgive the 11 year old Craig who tried to make sense of a completely messed up situation.  Honestly, instead of feeling embarrassed, I'm more disappointed in Cecil for sharing the ugly family secret that my mom was unfaithful and for causing me so much self-doubt throughout my childhood and adult life.  

By no sense was I traumatized by this, it's dysfunctional but not detrimental, but the burden of carrying this question for so long and the tension and the fracture/division this caused ruptures family dynamics and has had ripple effects.  It caused me trust-issues with female relationships as a young adult, and it certainly disrupted family ties along the way.     

If there's a lesson to be learned here, some piece of wisdom I could distill and syphon off for you, I'm not aware of it yet.  I guess at this point I'd say, be cautious with what you burden your offspring with, be attentive to your spouses, and be willing to be proved wrong about ideas you hold to.    

Don't be blinded by the light

 Recently some wiseguy behind me had his bright lights on during my entire drive down 11W, and honestly, I couldn’t wait for my turn to brightlight him.  All I could think about for ten solid minutes was that once he passed me, I’d show him how it felt...  Then he suddenly changed lanes, finally, only to enter the Pinnacle -- robbing me of my chance to get even!

Then it hit me.  While I was irritated, obsessing over “my turn” to brightlight him, I spoiled God’s blessings surrounding me.  The drive from Kingsport to Bristol on 11W is pleasant, not to mention the sunrise I completely ignored while being consumed with the situation.  I allowed myself to be preoccupied with getting even, ruining the beauty of that morning.  

Sadly, I gave up control.  I could’ve slowed down or pulled over and let the guy with the bright lights pass me.  I could’ve increased my speed slightly and instead of self-righteously using my cruise control, move along a little quicker and escape his bright lights.  

When we are offended we assume we know the other person’s motivations, but the chances are there are circumstances we’ve no clue about.  The guy following me might not have realized his brights were on, or maybe his headlights needed repairing and only worked on bright.  Instead of looking for the best in people (like we all want for ourselves) the lens of vengeance blinds us, it distorts reality by showing us people in the worst possible light.  

Seeking vengeance not only ignores God’s command to let Him take care of it, we neglect God’s command to love others, to treat others how we want to be treated, and we forget about not judging others by a higher standard.  Vengeance (which can’t undo the past) doesn’t bring out the best in us, it brings out our worst -- reducing us even lower than our “villain’s” own character, maybe that’s why Prov 19:11 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”

Vengeance robs us of enjoying our blessings, it dehumanizes the people we hope to punish, it steals God’s role of administering justice properly all the while pretending we are the only important person in the universe.  Whenever we withhold grace for whatever reasons, we forfeit the foundation of our faith -- demonizing others is destructive to our souls.  

Vengeance is problematic, namely, we can’t control it once we unleash it.  We hear too often of how drive-by shootings turn out -- think about the toddler in a highchair or kindergartner watching TV on the couch caught in the crossfire.  

Most of the time, our motivations are petty/immature because vengeance deceives us into believing we are all-powerful but instead it reveals just how weak we really are.  Worst of all, the desire for revenge becomes our god because we practically worship it, giving it all of our attention, allowing it to dominate us, freely giving it our strongest devotion possible.

Originally published in the Kingsport Times News 6/23/23

https://www.timesnews.net/living/features/craig-cottongim-dont-let-vengeance-blind-you/article_c162fdfe-fb1c-11ed-a129-f333e5b8879a.html?fbclid=IwAR1Y_6OdMBNn6qC-qDHocpPZZlbU3_55yRHnw25iV2GL6hP9UiXWySeSyI0