I could claim to have this figured out, but even after over 30 years of preaching, striking the best Biblical balance still takes effort, it is important to encourage our audiences and it is vital we address tough subjects too. Church gatherings should challenge us, if they will ever be able to change us, but sadly, “challenging” others is a hard sell for most church leaders.
Unfortunately, the temptation to tell the folks in the pews what they want to hear is often easier than preaching about what needs to be heard, Paul warned of this in II Tim 4:3, “ For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.” If you scan the topics of a typical sermon series in many pulpits, they resemble the promotions inside dust covers of self-help books — whenever our sermons sound more like an episode of the "Oprah Winfrey show" than Jesus, we can expect problems. We preach these mediocre sermons out of the fear that we might offend someone, and we all know what happens when members are offended.
When it comes to meeting as a church, we can feel the pressure to please everyone, but the reality is, not only are we unable to make everyone happy, we shouldn't. When we are worried about the risk of making people uncomfortable or of trying to keep everyone happy, we’ve lost our focus.
Consider the downside of making every single person happy. If everyone likes the same type of worship music, same translation of the Bible, same sermon topics, even the preacher, you’d have a fairly narrow minded group, but beyond these shortcomings, you wouldn’t be challenged to mature spiritually.
Why is it difficult to please everyone all the time? In any sized group we have different preferences, different priorities, different opinions, different goals, and hopefully your congregation has a broad spectrum when it comes to the levels of maturity, and these different people have different needs depending on where they are in life and there is no “one size fits all" method or ministry that will meet everyone’s “needs” all at the same time.
Since we can’t meet everyone’s exact need or make everyone happy all at the same time, what can we do when it comes to creating a healthier church environment? We focus on the one person who you can influence and should, yourself. No, this is not about being self-centered, catering to you, or making it all about you yourself, I’m saying focus on personally having a better attitude yourself and work on increasing a spirit of cooperation.
Next, consider the maturity level of the folks you are worshiping with and meet them where they are with the ambition of mutual growth. Our common goals outweigh our differences, let’s focus on what matters most, together, so be a peacemaker when you can, and be at peace when you’ve done all that you can.
Many people go "church shopping” looking for a church that checks off the boxes of what they want, which leads to a consumer mentality, and when these same people move the goal, pleasing them becomes a game you'll never win. There are many churches that do an excellent job of providing all the programs and special events that are exciting and enticing, and people come and go in these congregations, and that’s okay; not everyone will see church life the same way, and maybe they will fit in better elsewhere, but this doesn’t mean we can’t work to work together or seek to avoid useless conflict.
Some people will perpetually church shop & church hop, they get their feelings hurt and they “take their toys” and leave, try not to lose sleep over them because they will find something to be critical about wherever they land. Then on the other hand, there are people who will bloom where they are planted, as the old saying goes, so ask yourself regularly, which type of person are you? In the end, church isn’t about you or me, it’s about the God we serve and reaching the folks who still need to hear the Good News of Jesus.
