Ever feel like the Surgeon General's warning label? Gas pumps, cigarette packages, wine bottles, all carry warning labels that receive about as much attention as the stewardess who instructs us on how to buckle our lap-belt before takeoff. Why, you might wonder, do our claims fall on deaf ears when we are so certain of the facts?
Have you ever felt like the boy who cried wolf? Probably not. At least, we wouldn't willingly compare ourselves to anyone who exaggerates or makes up a story just to be heard. The reality is, most people when they hear you complain, disagree, take an opposing stance, or voice an unpopular view, they unknowingly attribute a degree of discrimination as they listen to your claims.
In other words, you lose credibility the moment you differ with most people.
Once you say what they don't want to hear, they don't take you seriously.
Why is it that people don't take us seriously?
For starters, no one wants to think their opinion is mistaken. We don't enjoy being wrong. We don't like it when others point out flaws in our thinking, and when they do, we get upset and begin to protect our point of view. And the best way to protect ourselves is to subconsciously discredit the person who disagrees with us.
Another obstacle to communicating our ideas stems from our presentation. The louder we yell, the more they will close their ears, metaphorically speaking. Emotional outbursts are the quickest way to turn off our audience. We like movies that make us cry, but we get really uncomfortable when the people around us lose control of their emotions.
And why are emotions detrimental if you want to be taken seriously? Projecting your emotions, right or wrong, seems manipulative to most people. We feel like we are being sold something we don't want when people are overly emotional.
Another reason people hesitate to take us seriously is when we parrot unoriginal perspectives. If you mostly quote other people or stand behind the views of a Party stance, you lose credibility. People want to know what you think, not what a faceless crowd stands for.
What else gets in our way? When your message contradicts your methods, people will reject you and your perspective. If you constantly eat fast food and yet complain about a society of unhealthy people, no one will listen to you.
What can we do to gain an open minded audience?
Whenever we try to influence others, passionately, our body-language gives off signals that others interpret as manipulation. Therefore, quit trying so hard to convince people you are right and they are wrong. Accept the fact that as you present your ideas, the other person might not agree with your ideas, which relaxes you, and when you are relaxed, people can let their guard down.
The moment a conversation moves from a dialog to a debate, it becomes adversarial, debates require winners & losers and no one likes to lose. The less defensive another person is, the more likely they are to consider our point of view. Simply put, the more pressure we apply, the more they will resist us.
If you truly want people to take you seriously and be swayed by your ideas, it comes down to this: Be consistent, be genuine, be honest, be yourself, and be willing to be proved wrong.
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