When is it time to hold other people accountable to our standards?

 

Since when do we have to agree with someone fully and when do they have to live perfect lives before we can celebrate the good that is within them?  I’m not making excuses for anyone or defending the worst of the worst, I’m asking us to reflect on ourselves because somehow it is culturally appropriate to demonize accomplished or successful people over their failings and it is taboo to mention any positive contributions these people have made because of a past inappropriate behavior, attitude or action.

Thanks to the internet, nothing you say or do ever disappears and it can come back and bite you in the rear at any time, a powerful example of this would be the folks in the crosshairs of the never-ending-ever-evolving Epstein files.  Up until last month Peter Attia was revered, he influenced politicians, movie stars, and all sorts of celebrities through his popular podcast and bestselling book, now this disgraced longevity expert is banished from the airwaves after his emails with Epstein came to light, ask yourself if this is fair and accurate?

I’m concerned we’ve raised a bar we ourselves can’t live up to, which of us is qualified to throw the first stone, who among us has removed the oversized log out of our own eye, and when do our terrible mistakes invalidate the excellent contributions we have made in this life?  Does our worst day eliminate our best contributions and are you personally mature enough to distinguish between the personality quirks or the stains of someone’s mistakes from their overall beneficial good which they have brought to the table?  

Imagine holding people to the standard of 100% perfection before we can acknowledge a single good accomplishment of theirs, then ask yourself what does it say about us personally when we criticize people over their mistakes yet we refuse to praise anything correct in others simply because they are fallible -- who among us can live up to this type of scrutiny?  Why should you imagine holding yourself to the same exacting standard of perfection you hold others to, because Jesus explained in MT 7:2, “For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”

We are so quick to hold others to a level of accountability we ourselves are unable to reach while we ignore all of the offences we ourselves are guilty of.  This type of hypocrisy, when our expectations of others exceeds a realistic view of our own inability to carry the weight we place on their shoulders, ruins relationships, fractures families, and corrodes a sense of community.

Our judgmental stereotyping is polarizing and poisoning us, perhaps we should temper our outrage, frustration, and disgust over the imperfections in others with an acknowledgment of our own limitations to attain perfection.  If we would dish out the same portion of grace we ourselves could appreciate and hope to receive, maybe we can heal our fragmented relationships. 

Psychopaths are incapable of feeling regret, remorse, guilt or shame, so unless you are a psychopath or a narcissist you can admit you have mistakes in your past you are ashamed of.  We shouldn't excuse the inexcusable when other people stubble, fail, or fall but we do need to balance our disappointment in them with an honest look in the mirror.  

Click here for the original article in the Kingsport Timesnews