Here's why no one is listening to your ranting:

The mood of our country has flip flopped. Perhaps you can remember how just a few years ago, many conservatives were promoting Ayn Rand’s book, “Atlas Shrugged” and people were printing the bumper stickers “Who is John Galt?” as if our country were about to lose all of our creative, hard working capitalists, and follow the plot-line of “Atlas Shrugged.”

The mood of our country has flip flopped. There was a period of time, recently, when we were worried as a nation that we were becoming a Socialist nation. Fears were expressed, and fears were played upon and harnessed.

The mood of our country has flip flopped. Now, in mass, people are nearly revolting against a new leader. People fear a tyrant, an authoritarian neo-fascist, has moved into the White House.

The mood of our country has flip flopped. It seems like when people protest or complain about a politician they disapprove of, they have a meltdown in the process. And this is the problem, we as North Americans have lost the ability to hold civil discourse. The only time we seem to promote tolerance is when we expect people to see a situation our way.

The "winners" of each political cycle always gloat and promise the rest of us we're entering Utopia. The "losers" always mope and moan about the terrible plight we are in.

When someone holds a different perspective than I do, I don’t mind it at all when people express their opinions. What irritates me, and what is absolutely counterproductive though, is when people whine. People on both ends of the political spectrum are guilty of this.

When you are trying to convince people of your point -- but the rhetoric becomes combative, whiny, and borders on paranoia, I can guarantee you that your audience will tune you out and become resistant to your message. Simply think about how you personally respond to people who rant...

If you want people to even consider your perspective, adapt your approach. Polish your presentation. Grow up and don’t throw a temper tantrum. I’m not simply recommending more maturity, I’m proposing some sanity and a realistic outlook.

Our country goes through cycles and the pendulum swings after those in “control” disappoint the people. Every earthly leader eventually fails to fulfill all of their promises, and in the meanwhile they inflame their opposition with their meager accomplishments, but none of this change is eternal.

If you don’t like who’s in Office, don’t worry, they won’t rule forever. If you don’t like the present circumstance we are in, find a positive way to share your ideas without sounding hysterical, discouraged, or defeated. Trust me, no one listens to Chicken Little without thinking about fried chicken.

Is the movie Silence significant?

Many Christians will hesitate to see the movie "Silence" because they distrust Scorsese after his movie, "The last temptation of Christ." I chose to ignore those types of concerns.  In fact, earlier today, my wife & I watched Martin Scorsese's "Silence."

Silence was heavy.  It's not a warm-fuzzy, feel-good movie by any stretch.  It covers you like one of those protective lead-aprons radiologists have you wear during an X-ray, and it can be just as uncomfortable too.  Still, I highly recommend watching the film.

There are several reasons why people of faith should see this film, if not simply to be relevant in talking about our faith with people who remain distant.  Silence holds great value, there are deep truths enshrouded within this movie, real lessons for people of faith, if they will watch it.

This movie exemplifies the power of community, comradeship, and the necessity of partnering with other people whenever we want to accomplish anything good or worthwhile. Early in the plot, the two 17th century priests who will eventually travel to Japan in search of their favored teacher, leave as "an army of two."   It's a powerful metaphor, and a lesson we've seemingly forgotten in our modern-day quest for independence.

This movie is based in the challenges of taking risks, along with the power of relationships.  For example, the initial underlying desire for the two young priests to travel to a dangerous land where Christians are being tortured and martyred, is driven by their ferocious loyalty to their mentor who has been missing and hasn't been heard from in years.  Then there are the Japanese villagers who place their lives in jeopardy sheltering these two priests, which fuels the tension in the plot even further.

The combination of real risks, overwhelming fear, and the concern for the well-being of others is the trifold-thread that holds the tapestry of Silence together.  Without these factors, there is no story here, and this tension seems like a true reflection of real life.

And this is where the questions enter in, as you watch the movie.

The biggest question the story raises isn't necessarily, "why is God silent in our sufferings," even though that's the meaning behind the title, and the story-arc depends on that question.  God does seem silent during horrific situations and that can rattle the faith of the strongest, there is no doubt about that.  The question that's larger in this story, and in real life, seems to be, is redemption possible.  Can even the apostate (one who turns away from the faith) find hope.  Can we be forgiven?  Can we be pleasing to God and others when we fail?

This story will also cause you to question what true devotion consists of.  It will cause you to be more cautious in the burdens and expectations you place on others.  You'll see the limitations of religion in changing people's hearts.  You will ask yourself, what have I done in my life for the Gospel, what am I doing for the Gospel now, what will I do for the Gospel?

You'll also question what happens when we spread the Gospel cross-culturally and you'll grapple with relativism along the way.  Does missionary work help or hurt people?  What happens when we place to much hope in religious leaders?  What is the church?

You'll walk away from the experience of this film, realizing the difference between what true persecution looks like, compared to culturally biased view that North Americans have when they feel their rights are being threatened and they think that's what persecution is.    

You'll also face the question of why is Christianity deemed so threatening and apparently dangerous to certain people -- until we can answer that question and alleviate those concerns in others, we will remain less effective than the Silence we are all so worried about.


 

  

What we need to unlearn from 2016 in order to overcome inequality & division in America

I am basically frustrated to the point where I will soon have to pare-down my social-media news feed.  Maybe you can empathize.  The problem is, 2016 made it socially acceptable to post divisiveness and be combative while we hide behind our keyboards.  Did our verbal attacks solve much, or have we made matters worse?  You tell me.

Currently we have a culture of victims who demonize the people they disagree with, or feel oppressed by.  Everyone is the enemy and everything offends us.  From Corporate America, the Feds, Wall Street, religion, our history, to politics or the school system, it's like there's a cosmic conspiracy against humanity, that is, if you listen to the news or spend much time on social media.

And, the way we discuss our very real distinctions are dividing us culturally even further.
Rich vs poor
Educated vs uneducated
Blue collar vs White collar
Straight vs Gay
Men vs Women
White vs all ethnicites
Deplorables vs Losers...
Left vs Right
Green Energy vs Fossil Fuels
Vegetarians vs Omnivores
The list really seems endless....

Am I missing something, aren't we all humans?  Don't we all share the same DNA?  Don't we all want the world to be a better place?

From Black lives matters, to Blue lives matters, to Islamophobia, homophobia, White Privilege, and to boycotting the Oscars, we've become a nation of protesters.  The problem with protesting is that it puts everyone on the defense, and when we are defensive we build walls, emotionally and otherwise.
Your message, no matter how accurate or well thought out, will never penetrate a closed mind. 

Here's an example.  Does a movie like Hidden Figures, which is about minority women who helped the space program during the Civil Rights era, does it help or hurt our our Nation's divisions?  If that questions offends you, you might be part of the problem.  It's a fair question.  I see no harm in it.

My point? How the movie is promoted, portrayed, and discussed will be what makes all the difference.  It boils down to agendas.  You are either part of the solution, or you will continue the problem, and I'm not sure how much longer we as a nation can afford to perpetuate our divisions.

In our home, from an early age, we discouraged our boys (from preschool age) to leave out the skin color of other people they told us about.  For example, when we went over their day at the dinner-table, as they recounted an experience with a classmate, if our children said, "You know, the black kid?" we would, as parents, correct them and say, "You don't tell us when another kid is white when you are telling us a story about your day, do you?  See, there's no need to say someone is black either.  We are all the same."

I share that part of our household to say, a major preliminary step to overcoming our differences and to healing what divides us is to eliminate "us vs them" from our thinking, and our vocabulary.  Highlighting or spotlighting what makes us different from each other has the potential to exasperate the divide.

Does this mean we turn a blind eye to the inequality and differences in our nation?  No.  Well, what can we do then?  We move from protesting, to participating in creating something better.  

We need to recognize some people do not want to cooperate or change, and we need to marginalize their influence.  Don't waste your time & energy on ignorant people.  You will not change them with any tactic, the more attention we give them, the more credibility they gain...  It's hard enough to change yourself and to make self-improvements, it's impossible to change other people against their will.

We have ugly, mean-spirited, prejudiced people we will have to deal with.  But there's hope, because there's nothing stopping us from collaborating with people from all backgrounds who want to work towards peace and unity.

We have hate-mongers and toxic people out there.  But we can make progress when we contain the vitriol/venomous hate-speech ourselves..., and refuse to be vindictive or seek retribution.

We can make a difference, we can be better when we cease to see ourselves though a victimized past and begin to look towards a victorious future that overcomes hate & division.  How you see yourself and others does matter.  Let's make 2017 a year where we forget what we look like on the outside and where we all do a better job at looking at what counts.

What to do when the holidays + family = stress

Family? You know, that group with whom you possibly share some DNA. They mostly consist of people you didn’t choose, but folks you are kind of stuck with all the same. If you’ve never had a major blowout, or wished you could avoid a family member who broke your heart, or you don’t have have an embarrassing relative, you don't need to read any further.

I truly love my wife and kids (along with their significant others), and our grandchildren -- but once you begin to widen that circle to include the rest, well, some of them drive me a little crazy. I imagine with the holidays now in full swing, you might be experiencing more family-time yourself, and this extra exposure can be slightly stressful for some of us. What can we do?

For starters, let’s all just be honest. Admitting that our families stress us out isn’t necessarily bad. You aren’t evil because you struggle with putting on a happy face over sharing a meal, or cringe at the thought of spending time with certain relatives. There’s so much sibling rivalry and family strife these days, it’s almost as if the label “dysfunctional” is moot. So, you don’t have to pretend to be something you aren’t.

How could this be? How could the people we are supposedly closest to, hurt us the most? How could loved ones wound us the deepest? I heard a fancy philosophical phrase that explains this whole thing: It is, what it is.

There’s probably more to it than that, but simply put, this is the way it is. Cain killed Abel. Joseph’s brothers tossed him in an empty well then quickly sold him into slavery, soaked his clothes in blood, and told their father he was probably gored by a wild animal. The Bible is filled with stories of families feuding with each other, and yet God continually fellowships with and uses fallible people to accomplish His will.

Maybe some of our strife stems from our selfishness; maybe there’s some blame to be laid at the feet of our fragmented society, I don't know why for sure. Pointing fingers probably won’t make anyone feel any better. Besides, only the people who have the greatest potential to bring us the most joy can truly hold the unique position in our hearts which can also bring us the greatest pain. Strangers might be able to lie to us, but we only feel betrayed by someone who is close to us.

Families disappoint us, they wound and they hurt each other. Some families simply fight and no amount of therapy or counseling seems to help fix them. They lash out at each other, they are mean & hateful, yet they are bound together all the same. Therefore, we as individuals need to be as healthy as possible.

Being a healing presence might just be the best present you can give your family this season.

You don’t have to repeat the same unhealthy patterns that have been modeled for you by people who share your last name. You don’t have to retaliate or payback family members who have mistreated you. You can be liberated, you can be free, you can choose to love and to bless despite the mess. You are not a prisoner of your heritage, you are someone who is promised full redemption and complete transformation as a child of God.

Taking a break from certain parts of your family for a season of life isn’t wrong, in fact sometimes it's necessary. Still, remember, this life is short. None of us are promised a tomorrow. Once a loved one is gone, it’s too late to tell them how much you loved them regardless of the problems you’ve shared.

This is a great time of year to reflect and to consider how you might rebuild some broken relationships, since the holidays make for a great excuse to reconnect -- if you so choose. These days can provide a safe way to reach out to those who we miss or we know we’ll miss once they are gone. And remember, if you aren’t sure who the wacky one in your family is, it might just be you.

Post-election America: Can we experience diversity without being divisive?

Regardless of who you voted for this year, you either have been let down because who you voted for didn’t win, or you will soon feel let down by your winning candidate since Presidents can’t deliver on all of their campaign-trail promises -- it’s simply impossible to accomplish all they pitch.  Disappointment is one thing, but our nation seems to be beyond disappointment.  

I’m not sure if upheaval is a strong enough word.  One year ago, no one could've predicted how this year’s tumultuous election would conclude.  This has been the craziest year, politically speaking -- the Presidential campaign was a banal circus that brought out the worst in too many of us.   This much is clear, following the results of the election, we are extremely divided as a nation, we are polarized, we are majorly at odds with each other.

Sadly, our nation is radially divided along party lines, by ideologies, race, and religion.  We are not in a healthy condition; we need healing soon.  Christians should be asking: How can the church help bind up our nation’s wounds?  

The Book of Romans in the New Testament was written to a divided group of Christians.  Without going into too much of the tedious history of the period, the church in Rome was disrupted when the Jewish people who started the church in Rome were forced to leave, while the gentiles who remained in Rome had grown in numbers, and then the Jewish believers later returned.  

What were the results in the church in ancient Rome?  It was a diverse group who had reunited, but they needed some guidance on how to get along.  Why?  They were as culturally and ethnically diverse as you could get, yet the Apostle Paul offers godly wisdom with the hope that the church in Rome could experience unity.  Had they given up, would we even be believers today?

How can the book of Romans help us?  It’s in Romans we learn how we can actively perpetuate a mindset that’s non-judgemental and accepting of those with whom we don’t see eye-to-eye with.  We gain valuable insights into the virtue of tolerance throughout the book of Romans.  

“Tolerance” gets a bad wrap in many Christian circles, but we need tolerance now more than ever.  The type of tolerance I’m recommending is not synonymous with relativism, or the claim, “What’s true for you, isn’t true for me.”  I believe in absolutes, truth, and moral standards that apply to everyone equally.  

Tolerance, in the healthiest form, is the idea of respecting people, of dialoguing, of actively listening, and of withholding judgement.  It’s the only way we can meet people with opposing views halfway.  

Here’s just a small sample from Romans to illustrate the point I’m trying to make, “[14] Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. [15] Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. [16] Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. [17] Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. [18] If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”  (Romans 12:14-18 ESV)

Please continue to pray for our nation, that we may experience peace and harmony.  It really doesn’t matter who our President is because God is still in control, and, we are supposed to serve as His hands and feet in a wounded and broken world.  It’s really up to us to make the world a better place, it’s not the job of the government anyway.  

America, has it ever been "great" and where should we focus anyway?

Trump won his election by focusing his constituency's attention on the past, a past that many people see differently.  To be simplistic and direct in his branding, Trump repeated his mantra, "Make America great again"  It's the "again" that strikes a nerve with a varied demographic.

So, besides the fact the phrase was plagiarized (Ronald Reagan used that phrase when he ran for office) what's really wrong with the phrase?

It falls short because it's claiming a future that's tied to a past, a somewhat unshared past experience.  We can't go back in time, even if we wanted to, so its a waste of time to wax nostalgic.  Regardless if you think America once was great, we can agree that not everyone thinks so, in fact about 50% of the population takes issue with this phrase.

How can you govern effectively if half of your people feel alienated?  We could say, "Who cares? Let's move on." But that's not feasible in a democracy or a republic.  That type of "suck it up and get over it" stance only works under a totalitarian regime, and even then the cooperation is only a thinly veiled attempt to acquiesce to the leadership.  

I don't buy into any "privilege" movement, it seems to be denigrating to those who feel someone else is privileged.  I love what Donald Miller posted today on twitter, particularly the end of his post:

Click here for the link to Miller's post if that image was too small to read: "Victims love to call Heroes "Privileged"

I couldn't stand Hillary Clinton, so this post isn't about gnawing sour grapes because Trump won.  I'm interested in our nation finding some healing from our massive division.  So..., what would work better for Trump, if he wanted to united America, again?  Drop the word "again" from his slogan, and simply say "let's make America great, together"

I doubt Trump would take advice from someone of my station in life, but if I could give him advice that he'd listen to, that would be my piece of advice, forget about the past and look forward to a future we all can participate in.

Sadly, when you polish off the golden age, you find it's only a pile of pyrite.

People do not want you to be honest with them...

People never come out and say, "Lie to me," but when you think about it, you know you've gotten in hot water over telling people what you think.  It happens more often than we'd like to admit, but calling it "like you see it" is usually controversial.

As much as we hate to be lied to, the reality is, most people can't stand it when you are honest with them.  No, I'm not talking about discussing financial transactions or answering questions surrounding your personal accountability.  I'm talking about circumstances like the advice you offer, voicing your opinion, and sharing what you really think about the person you are talking to.

Without trying to sound too cynical, people often don't want to hear truthful statements, and even more often, they aren't able to handle them.  I've seen this resistance to our honesty played out in many different settings.

Leaders "at the top" are notorious for surrounding themselves with people who shield them from negative information, this can be true anywhere, in church leadership meetings, in construction leadership forums, all the way to just sitting around with friends.  People struggle with hearing the truth.  Whether you are talking "politics" or discussing current events, not everyone wants to hear what's on your mind.

Does this mean we should just tell people what they "want" to hear?  How can we maintain our integrity and still be able to communicate with people who tend to "shoot the messenger?"
Here are some steps we can take that can help us communicate respectfully, openly, and with honesty:

Ask for permission to be honest.
That sounds a bit derogatory, but it's necessary to building healthy relationships.
You don't say, "Please give me permission..." but you certainly ask questions like, "Do you really want to know...?"

Ask more questions while offering less answers.
People like to share their views, more than they care about what you think anyway.
Asking, "Have you thought about...?" instead of just blabbing what's obvious can help facilitate more meaningful conversations too.

Ask others how they see the situation or their views on the subject, and wait for them to ask your opinion.  Sometimes, believe it or not, people not only don't want your honesty, they don't want to hear from you.

Leave room for future conversations on the subject with a phrase like, "I should give this more thought before I answer."  This not only builds a little anticipation, it also lets people know you are more thoughtful than reactive.

Ask if you need to, or if you can clarify what you mean.  Sometimes people don't question your opinions half as much as they question your intentions.  Providing deeper explanations can increase understanding, and that always helps you to get your point across.

So, the next time you think about sharing an unsolicited piece of advice or simply saying what's on your mind, slow down and remember not everyone is ready to hear you out.  Not yet.  It's better to be asked what you think, than it is to say what you think and have people overreact to the truth.