The grip of grief how will our loss NOT have the last word?

If you have ever known the thrill of being carried on silver wings & “flying the friendly skies,” you might be interested in knowing flight became possible after someone playing ice-hockey had his face smashed in leaving his teeth looking like a broken bottle when his face replaced the goal; it was the worst day of his life and he locked himself away for three years out of embarrassment.  Sulking, and feeling sorry for himself he moped around his self-imposed prison and to kill the time he spent his days reading in his dad’s library -- low and behold he read a lot about birds, he came out of that unbearable tragic experience with a greater insight, and Mr. Wright and his brother brought us the gift of flight.  

Similarly, Isaac Newton was isolated in his room for months on end during the great plague of his day and it was during that time of quarantine that he experienced several epiphanies, he invented his prism for studying light, and he formulated many of his greatest ideas in math & physics.  The world was gripped by death and it was a dark time, and Newton’s achievements changed the world as we know it for the better during the worst of times.  

You are more than likely familiar with the youngest brother who was sold into slavery by his older brothers, the jealous brothers who were envious of him who planned his demise.  Joseph, as you remember, was the slave who was eventually elevated in status as second only to the Pharaoh and when the time came that he was reunited with his cruel brothers who plotted against him he said in Gen 50:20, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” 

Right now you might be dealing with the deviation of a divorce, the loss of being laid off, or worse, you are missing a loved one who passed away and you are asking if any good can come from our tragedies?  Maintaining a positive perspective when you are simply trying to persevere seems pointless but consider what Paul wrote in 2 Cor 1:3-4, “3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

Mosaics and the Japanese art of kintsugi take shattered pieces of pottery or ceramics and fashion masterpieces by mending them and creating works of beauty from what was once broken; just like how a broken bone is stronger where it is mended, the once worthless pieces are now more valuable than before.  In the midst of loss or during our difficulties it’s impossible to believe we will find fulfillment or see the potential our future holds, all hope seems elusive, but.

But somehow the unfathomable becomes the greatest act of kindness and delivery, like the conclusion to Steinbeck's “Mice & Men" when George saves Lennie from Curley's certain torture and cruelty by taking Lennie’s life himself.  May we learn to build a set of wings while we are in freefall and soar high above the problems we have faced and grow from our mistakes and problems, and maybe comfort someone who is facing what we have overcome, by the grace of God.  

PS: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted

    and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

Originally published in the Kingsport Timesnews on 11/7/25 https://www.timesnews.net/living/faith/when-good-comes-from-the-worst-of-times/article_3ec340e0-66c2-4b51-ab7f-5dffc982f41e.html

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What's wrong with this world & how to fix it

Power and authority should not be confused with each other (The corollary to these ideas are submission and obedience).  Power, the ability or resource for action, and authority, having the right to enforce or exercise the power.  Our understanding, or better yet our misunderstanding of these ideas are at the root of much of what's wrong with this world.  This leaves us in perpetual tension.  Why?  Everyone wants to be the one in charge wielding their power while no one seems to appreciate the need to obey or be submissive.  

Families all across the land are divided and they are being ripped apart over arguing about who is to blame for our Nation’s problems and how do we as a people unite and move forward.  We don’t just segregate our communities by skin color, we separate by political affiliations, social status, occupations and economic diversities.  

With a culture that is obsessed with competition, from tee ball to professional Sports, campaigners trying to beat their Political opponents, to your kid’s dance or debate team -- is it any wonder we have such a division at every level in our country?  This isn’t new.  All the way back to Cain & Able we’ve had rivalries.  

The process of College entrance is competitive, applying for a job is competitive, getting your parent’s attention is competitive, keeping your attention here on this page or when you sit in a pew competes with technology and social media/the entertainment industry.  You know who doesn't compete?  God.

It’s clear to nearly everyone we need change.  Whatever it is we’ve been doing, it isn’t working.  Change is incredibly difficult, and we can see this playing out in our culture right now.  Think of how many churches fizzle out by fighting over change.  How can we call people to action?

Maybe we just need a “better pitch” to energize people?  Clever slogans like Nancy Reagan’s “just say no” campaign (drug abuse has risen exponentially since her plea) or the “WWJD” bracelets we wore in the 1990’s seem ineffective to spark real change.  Slogans rarely mobilize people, instead they seemingly initiate fads that fade from memory quickly.  

Perhaps we need stricter criminal & civil laws, ones regulating speech, gatherings, and actions that make people fairer.  If the laws don’t work, let’s break those laws or similar ones and make sure our voices are heard.  Well.  It’s hard to legislate morality.  And fairness & equality are moral issues -- matters of the heart.  

Laws will not change the heart or the attitude of divisive people.  Neither protests nor riots will change the hearts or culture that they infiltrate either.  

We’re now seeing a different competition for the direction or the focus of our national conversation.  As long as we compete and see this as an “Us versus them” issue, we will lose ground.  We need to mutually support each other as much as possible.  Support has to be authentic and genuine.  Not everyone will feel the same as you or share your approach to bridging the gaps that exist in our nation, and instead of resisting or resenting, we need to learn to cooperate.  

How do we cooperate towards a common good?  We must see others as allies instead of demonizing them as enemies and we must obediently submit to the right authority, yes, we need to yield to God’s will -- especially in how we treat each other.

Consider what Paul wrote in Romans 13:8-10, “8 Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. 9 For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.”  And ultimately, it’s time for us to take the words of Jesus seriously, especially what He says in Matthew 7:12, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

 

What we need to unlearn from 2016 in order to overcome inequality & division in America

I am basically frustrated to the point where I will soon have to pare-down my social-media news feed.  Maybe you can empathize.  The problem is, 2016 made it socially acceptable to post divisiveness and be combative while we hide behind our keyboards.  Did our verbal attacks solve much, or have we made matters worse?  You tell me.

Currently we have a culture of victims who demonize the people they disagree with, or feel oppressed by.  Everyone is the enemy and everything offends us.  From Corporate America, the Feds, Wall Street, religion, our history, to politics or the school system, it's like there's a cosmic conspiracy against humanity, that is, if you listen to the news or spend much time on social media.

And, the way we discuss our very real distinctions are dividing us culturally even further.
Rich vs poor
Educated vs uneducated
Blue collar vs White collar
Straight vs Gay
Men vs Women
White vs all ethnicites
Deplorables vs Losers...
Left vs Right
Green Energy vs Fossil Fuels
Vegetarians vs Omnivores
The list really seems endless....

Am I missing something, aren't we all humans?  Don't we all share the same DNA?  Don't we all want the world to be a better place?

From Black lives matters, to Blue lives matters, to Islamophobia, homophobia, White Privilege, and to boycotting the Oscars, we've become a nation of protesters.  The problem with protesting is that it puts everyone on the defense, and when we are defensive we build walls, emotionally and otherwise.
Your message, no matter how accurate or well thought out, will never penetrate a closed mind. 

Here's an example.  Does a movie like Hidden Figures, which is about minority women who helped the space program during the Civil Rights era, does it help or hurt our our Nation's divisions?  If that questions offends you, you might be part of the problem.  It's a fair question.  I see no harm in it.

My point? How the movie is promoted, portrayed, and discussed will be what makes all the difference.  It boils down to agendas.  You are either part of the solution, or you will continue the problem, and I'm not sure how much longer we as a nation can afford to perpetuate our divisions.

In our home, from an early age, we discouraged our boys (from preschool age) to leave out the skin color of other people they told us about.  For example, when we went over their day at the dinner-table, as they recounted an experience with a classmate, if our children said, "You know, the black kid?" we would, as parents, correct them and say, "You don't tell us when another kid is white when you are telling us a story about your day, do you?  See, there's no need to say someone is black either.  We are all the same."

I share that part of our household to say, a major preliminary step to overcoming our differences and to healing what divides us is to eliminate "us vs them" from our thinking, and our vocabulary.  Highlighting or spotlighting what makes us different from each other has the potential to exasperate the divide.

Does this mean we turn a blind eye to the inequality and differences in our nation?  No.  Well, what can we do then?  We move from protesting, to participating in creating something better.  

We need to recognize some people do not want to cooperate or change, and we need to marginalize their influence.  Don't waste your time & energy on ignorant people.  You will not change them with any tactic, the more attention we give them, the more credibility they gain...  It's hard enough to change yourself and to make self-improvements, it's impossible to change other people against their will.

We have ugly, mean-spirited, prejudiced people we will have to deal with.  But there's hope, because there's nothing stopping us from collaborating with people from all backgrounds who want to work towards peace and unity.

We have hate-mongers and toxic people out there.  But we can make progress when we contain the vitriol/venomous hate-speech ourselves..., and refuse to be vindictive or seek retribution.

We can make a difference, we can be better when we cease to see ourselves though a victimized past and begin to look towards a victorious future that overcomes hate & division.  How you see yourself and others does matter.  Let's make 2017 a year where we forget what we look like on the outside and where we all do a better job at looking at what counts.

Should we forget the phrase "Never Forget"

On the morning of September 11th, 2001 I was sitting in Dr. Sennett's 600 level philosophy class.  Dr. Rae interrupted our class, and as he entered the room, he looked as if someone close to us on campus had just died horribly.  He informed us all to go quickly to chapel.  My 70 mile trip home from seminary afterwards was one of the longest rides of my life.

As we approach the 15th anniversary of the Sept 11th attacks, I simply can't see the value of perpetuating the phrase "Never Forget."  The phrase doesn't keep us vigilant, it keeps shackled to our past and to an enemy that frankly doesn't exist in the same way it did then.  Instead, we've created a new enemy.

Global terrorism and the death rates associated with terrorism has increased by 4,500 % since our response to the terrorist attacks.  We should remember, ISIS/ISL didn't even exist in 2001.

It's time to realize we are embroiled in a vitriolic battle of ideologies, not of nations.
This battle we face will not be won with military might, that's something to remember.

For a better perspective consider this.  You might be surprised that one of our greatest allies today, Great Britain, once stormed our Capitol during the War of 1812 and torched the White House.  Today, German companies dot the American landscape, and the Japaneses own a lot our debt -- last year they passed up China: http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-04-15/japan-snaps-china-s-six-year-run-as-top-holder-of-treasuries

Am I suggesting we one day will become allies with radical Islamic jihadists?  A better question might be: What's the alternative, an extermination of them or us?  I don't how to move forward and solve this issue, but I know chanting "Never Forget" doesn't honor our fallen.  What best honors the dead is creating new life, making a brighter future, and fixing problems -- not fixating on past wounds.

Have you ever read "Bury my heart at wounded knee," and are you up to speed how we treat tribal nations on our own soil today?  What about the rift we once suffered during our own Civil War?  What about the fact that for too long during an embarrassing period of our nation's history, American women couldn't vote, nor could our minorities....  We should also be thankful the citizens of  Dresden, Berlin, and especially the people of Hiroshima & Nagasaki don't wave banners with slogans like "Never Forget."

It's not unpatriotic to say we need a better slogan, one that brings healing -- letting go of one that ties us to a painful past.  Maybe on disturbing anniversaries like 9/11 we need a new slogan, something like, "We'll always move forward"