Why unity is better than uniformity and Why do we turn to violence and turn away from talking...?

If the pen is mightier than the sword, then our attitudes are more powerful than gunpowder or ammunition.  Yet, our culture has normalized hating the people we disagree with — apparently we all want to be the one holding the microphone controlling the conversation.  But this is to our detriment because when we lose confidence in each other, we lose confidence in ourselves.  We are like cars merging on the highway refusing to yield to one other, causing a catastrophic pileup from our inability to dialogue.  

What is interfering with our ability to hold civil conversions?  Like boiling all of the flavor out, we’ve rendered all of our views down to “either/or” thinking and we’ve lost the “both/and” option because not only do we disagree on what’s best for us all or the path towards whatever is best for us, we lack a mutual respect for opposing viewpoints.

Why can’t the government just make us behave nicely?  Growing up we never had a house key, when I asked my dad why we didn’t lock our doors he told me, “Locks keep honest people honest.”  Stringent laws will not solve our society’s differences, especially the ones that turn violent.  

We need to really examine why we turn to violence as a solution and ask, is all violence preventable?  London England plans to make the purchase of pointed kitchen knives off limits, which makes you wonder how far can a nation go in their attempts to regulate what a criminal can get their hands on.  

As Cain conspired, he never conceptualized or considered a carbine — when deranged people are determined, there’s little to no deterrent that can distract them from devastation.  For example, if we had the ability to legislate morality effectively, then the citizens of Chicago could enjoy walking their streets at night and their rowdier residents wouldn’t look like Swiss cheese every weekend.  

Do differences generate violence?  Any student of the four Gospels knows that Jesus surrounded Himself with a diverse group of apostles, He had tax collectors and fishermen and zealots; the early church had to learn how to deal with different views, if you read the Gospels and Acts it is abundantly clear.  Tragically, we’ve lost sight of the value of diversity as political violence now seems to be an acceptable fact of life.  

There are certain people who we either idolize or demonize, polarizing personalities have the ability to capture our attention, they attract likeminded people, and of course they infuriate people who refuse to be influenced by them.  When it comes to polarizing people, we are either impressed with or intimidated by, we are either drawn to, or threatened by them.  Mature people know how to ignore ideas that are illogical, without feeling the need to shame or insult the people who promote foolishness, immature people on the other hand feel the need to slander everyone and anyone who holds a contrary view that’s different from theirs, but wise people can listen to people with whom they disagree and learn from them too, without feeling hostility towards them.  

Much of the empathy and sympathy that many progressives expressed last month seemed clouded by caveats and clichés, conservatives lack a stellar record of supporting detractors who suffer as well.  What we need is unity, not uniformity -- indoctrination is abominable and conformity is claustrophobic.  Tolerance for and common respect for the rights of others to form and articulate their own views is what is needed now more than ever. 

We have to be willing to accept challenges to our perceptions, if we are to challenge the views of others. We must hear people out as we would like to be listened to. We must give people the same benefit of the doubt that we ourselves wish to receive. We have to find common ground with which we agree upon and build upon that and offer the same amount of acceptance that we would hope to be accepted by.

Consider I Peter 3:8-9 &:15, “[8] Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. [9] Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing…, [15] but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect…”  When we lose sight of the reality that the people on the opposite side of the aisle are created in the image of God, that is when we have begun to idolize our ideologies -- we hold so much more in common and our differences are, for the most part, trivial and temporary.  

People who refuse to fight fairly aren’t winning arguments, they’re losing credibility.  Our deepest problem is that we are selfish and the laws our government enacts are powerless to resolve that, violence is the fruit of and ultimate expression of selfishness, once we solve our selfishness all the rest will fall in place.  

Originally published in the Kingsport Timesnews 10/10/25 Click here for the original newspaper version

Unapologetic attempt to address the attitude that ails us

I think a better title would've been "Embrace people with differing points of view" but I still see the value in my editor's choice of wording.  It's hard to get people to open up to our ideas when we closed to their ideas and closed to them.  Before I share the text of the column, below, I think many people feel subjugated and experience too much suppression when it comes to talking, which is an unsuccessful way for us as a society to bridge our differences, and if we continue to alienate ourselves from those we disagree with our results will remain unsatisfactory if we ever want to grow and mature.  Enough of the rant, here is today's religion column original published in the Kingsport Times News:  

Our contemporary quandary about discussing anything remotely controversial without difficulty isn’t healthy, but it obviously isn’t new either.   As Einstein observed, “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.”

Consider how C.S. Lewis saw this dilemma, “When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind.”  Contemplate George Orwell’s similar insight, “In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act.”  Perhaps Thomas Paine put it best, “He who dares not offend cannot be honest.”

Circumstances may have changed since those great thinkers were around, but sadly today Trump, Fauci, Covid vaccines & Big Pharma, transgenderism, wars in Israel and Ukraine, money, the climate & energy, and a host of other interesting & worthwhile topics are suddenly off limits because they seemingly separate us from those we care about.  Without even being forcefully censored, many of us feel coerced to remain silent for fear of rejection or retaliation.  

I’ve been in echochamber churches before and I’ve experienced shallow friendships where it’s okay to take your ball and go home when things don’t go your way.  Their unwritten creed dictated complete agreement of every doctrine, theological stance, opinion, and divergent views were intolerable, yet I’ve come to appreciate the fact that spiritually mature people go beyond simply tolerating opposing views, they invite people not to acquiesce but to think for themselves and to actually express their views openly.  How else can we grow?

Where am I coming up with these radical ideas?  This extremist position on exchanging ideas with the goal of overall personal improvement comes from Scripture:

Prov 12:15, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,

    but a wise man listens to advice.”

Prov 18:2, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,

    but only in expressing his opinion.”

Prov 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend;

    profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Prov 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron,

    and one man sharpens another.”

Somehow we have corrupted the quality of our relationships by characterizing anyone who contradicts us as combative.  Hogwash.  True friends are vital because they care enough to disagree -- confident people refuse to allow their differences to dissolve their bonds of community.  

Shutting down and devaluing differing points of view lacks integrity, lowers the standard of authentic friendships, corrodes community, and it weakens us intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.  Biblical relationships value debate and dialogue -- just because someone disagrees with you it doesn't mean they have attacked or victimized you nor are they inherently evil.  We gain little by prohibiting differences of opinions and surrounding ourselves with people who only reinforce every opinion we have.  

Courageous relationships are risky -- sharing your thoughts requires vulnerability but mature people know how to disagree with others without feeling the need to demonize them.  It is okay to disagree with or dislike the content of what someone says but it is immature to dislike & distance yourself from them just for what they think. 

When we only talk with people who already agree with us

Have you noticed how difficult it has become to disagree with other people? Trump is a great example, he gets everyone talking -- we’re just not talking with the right people. How so? People on one side think that he can do no wrong, while other people believe he can’t do anything right. You either have a zealot-like loyalty to him, or you find him utterly loathsome. Just like the topic of abortion, there is no middle ground when it comes to talking about Trump.

The same could be said for discussing transgender people teaching sex-ed to preschoolers, current events in the Middle East, or immigration. We are too polarized these days. Worse yet, we can’t even seem to have a civil conversation with people “on the other” side of any issue.

FYI: It is okay to be neutral on the topic of the President, and, not every discourse is “hate speech” simply based on the fact you that disagree. You are not homophobic or Islamophobic whenever you voice a different view than what is held on the TV talk-shows. Yet, our culture has bullied us into silence when it comes to speaking up in the public square whenever we voice our conscience about the moral decline we see daily.

I find it ironic when a relativistic culture that on the one hand claims “what’s true for you isn’t true for me” (discarding logic and reason) wants to set a standard for diversity that is dependent on the stipulation that you can speak up only as long as you are in complete agreement with their views. There really isn’t room for exchanging ideas within this false diversity when their standard tells the other side to be quiet or acquiesce because you are hateful whenever you disagree with them.

How has our culture kept you quiet? They shame you and guilt you into silence, as they marginalize your mainstream-traditional virtues, claiming you are “intolerant.” And you probably think that you should remain quiet, since that’s the polite thing to do. The people who would suppress your voice, they are banking on you to be polite. And it works after-all, since all good Christians are polite like Jesus was.

Forget the fact Jesus braided a whip and drove out the money changers. Ignore the disciples asking Him in Matthew 15:12, “Don’t you realize the Pharisees were offended...?” by what He said. Jesus wasn’t killed for being polite. We somehow imagine Jesus to be charming and witty, almost like a candidate running for office or a TV game-show host, all the while forgetting He was killed for speaking the truth which offended people.

Jesus wasn’t combative, critical, or judgmental when He disagreed or when He voiced His unpopular ideas. He was confident, compassionate, creative, and caring when He shared the truth. Unfortunately, we as believers don’t even practice Jesus’ example on dialoguing with other Christians. Until we can do a better job of disagreeing amongst “ourselves” over the gray areas of theology or faith, are we really in a place to correct the world? It doesn’t have to be an either or, i.e., either we finally achieve unity or we can’t reach out period. But, we certainly need to avoid hypocrisy. And, we need to do whatever we are going to to improve our ability to dialogue soon.

When it comes to discussing our differences in the public square, it seems like both sides are merely perpetuating echo-chambers where all we are doing is sharing our opinions with other people who already hold the same views which we do. Sure, it’s comfortable, but it’s also catastrophic. Revolts, riots, and revolutions happen when you suppress people. There’s a reason Proverbs 27:17, “As Iron sharpens iron” is in your Bible. It’s healthy to respectfully disagree and to challenge each other.

The only way we will grow and mature as people is through comparing and contrasting ideas and through open dialogue. When we lose our way in this matter, the church becomes irrelevant and we are lost as a civilization.

Antisocial media

Certainly we are not the first generation of people to disagree with each other.  I'm sure we are not the first to have strong opinions, and we are not the first to stoop down to name-calling with those who hold different views.  But it does seem with the advent of social media, the ease in which we condescendingly attack other people and the aggressive way we attack them personally, not just their ideas/views, has exploded. 

What doesn't make sense to me, lately, is how we jump to character assassination these days.  The force of the vitriolic and bombastic language across social media between people who are basically the same in most ways, save their views on certain topics, is deeply disturbing. 

Sadly, Social media has become an Antisocial outlet for mean-spirited and hateful people. 

Basically, what we're becoming is a culture of super-critical people who hide behind our keyboards or smartphone screens, practicing emotional drive-by-shootings.  I have no idea what people think they are accomplishing when they slam other people so harshly on social media? 

If you disagree strongly with someone on politics, religion, or what-have you, insulting them and attempting to degrade them on social media doesn't actually address the subject you disagree on.  Instead, it makes you look insecure, highly negative, less credible, and rather immature.  Trying to get your point across doesn't have to be a competition of who whines & cries the loudest, or who has the best put-downs. 

I have no problem with dialog or debate, and I'm not even proposing that people can't voice disagreements on social media, I'm not the Facebook Police...  The only way we become certain of what we believe and the best way to learn, is to compare and contrast our ideas.  I can get along with people who hold different views and I try hard not to base my friendships or my civility on the opinions of other people.  We don't have to see everything the same or agree on everything, but we should learn to agree to disagree with a little less mudslinging and a lot more honor and integrity. 

Is it possible to be too accepting?

It seems as if we are no longer entitled to hold up our own individual standards anymore.  Instead, it seems like alternative lifestyles and cultures and beliefs are being forced on us from all fronts, but we aren't allowed to say a thing about it.

I find intolerance, discrimination, and rudeness distasteful and unacceptable, but let's grow up and realize that to dislike or disapprove of another's opinion or choice is not equal to hatred.  The current circumstance we find ourselves in feels like some sort of meta-cultural peer-pressure where everyone is expected to accept every choice as being fully equal, and to be quiet about it all.

Rejecting a choice someone else makes, or not accepting their preference, doesn't equate to rejecting that person.  Certainly common sense tells us we don't have to see everything all the same, and to disagree isn't one and the same as hatred or rejection.

In fact, we are being sold a lie -- if we reject the person's preferences, we reject the person.  Similarly, if we reject another's lifestyle, we have supposedly committed evil acts of racism, bigotry, and discrimination.  The false claim of some people is that rejecting the choices other people make is the full equivalent of breaking their civil rights for the people you disagree with.  That's insanity!

For a free-market of ideas to thrive, there has to be an exchange of contrary and opposing ideas.  For our own intellectual growth to flourish, we have to express ourselves when we disagree.  But currently, to hold to certain morals and political stances results in being bullied into silence, or being labeled with a shame-laden derogatory "ism" meant to stifle your voice.

It is impossible for all of the contradictory views to all be right.  Yet, no one is allowed to speak up and say someone else's ideas are wrong anymore.  That's crazy.  This cultural censorship is slowly choking out clear thinking.

The suppression of opinions that are different from the latest fad or the hippest marginalized group is the path to stifle the freedom of expression.   To say any particular group or ideology is misguided or wrong will be hate-speech, punishable by fines or lawsuits.  To ensure that no one is ever offended is to prevent the personal growth of any society, and, it will eliminate the ability to have a healthy exchange of ideas.  This all sounds like the subplot of a dystopian narrative where the fascist leaders enact a totalitarian regime to suppress the masses...  and their new uniform is fashioned from the "Emperor's new clothes," but who will speak up about the wardrobe?

Squelching dialogue is the least wise move our culture can make.  Dialogue means we speak up, we share ideas that are dissimilar, and we all learn from the process.  Instead, we remain enslaved by feeling embarrassed to speak up, because if we do speak up we are labeled as hatemongers or dogmatic anti-intellectuals who are just plain cruel.  We are afraid to speak out against the things we once saw as embarrassing.  We are devolving into invertebrates.  

To claim all ideas are equally valid means that none of the ideas being presented are wrong, which means we've reached perfection in our understanding of reality.  I personally see a lot of room for improvement from humanity.  For diversity to exist and be profitable to our personal development, means we have to speak up, debate, disagree, and state our opinions.

We can include everyone and accept everyone based on the common-ground we share and through authentic tolerance and respect, but if we silence people through intimidation and coercion simply because they disagree with the lifestyle choices of the furthest fringes of our society, then our civilization is no longer civilized, it is just part of the animal kingdom and nothing is off limits...