Farewell to Facebook

 Since Facebook isn’t an airplane terminal, there’s no need for me to announce my departure.  When our oldest son left for college I had joined Facebook to keep up with his goings-on while he was living 12 hours away from home (read, dad wanted to monitor/spy on his son’s activities being hidden from mom & dad), fast forward 20 years and I now am in what you could call a digital-detox.

My escape from social media wasn’t planned or purposeful, it simply happened as I went from looking at Facebook daily to now weekly, as what once served as a convenient way to stay engaged with others became a source of anxiety and distress.  Yes it’s nice to catch up with folks living far away or to promote your church or small business on social media, but with all of its polarization, perpetual drama, and deep-fake AI videos, the saturation of social media exhausted me as every armchair expert weighed in on the frenzy of every current crisis.  

So yes, I gradually lost interest in social media, much like outgrowing or drifting away from a childhood hobby.  The lure of social media lost its luster as it became more like a tangled up yo-yo, it was no longer fun for me, instead it was overwhelming and frustrating.  

My break from social media is surprisingly refreshing, I feel more relaxed both mentally and emotionally.  With some reflection I realized the smartest, most interesting and successful people who I know personally in real life, they themselves do not post much if anything at all on social media.  

So, who was I trying to impress, who was impressive to me, and what did any of this keyboard-chatter matter?  These questions and more crystallized that not only was social media a waste of my time, it was a thief who robbed me of my peace of mind as well.  

Beyond the lurkers who simply stalk everyone else’s activities, there is a sinister element to social media, like an event horizon it sucks people in by feeding on our FOMO, social media is engineered to hook us and captivate us and capture our attention.  Recently I realized that there’s not much on the digital frontier of social media that matters enough to me if I miss out on it, years ago I lost interest in cable news on TV as it was too gloomy, depressing, and it amounted to nothing more than doom-mongering, and now I view social media through a similar lens.  

You might be asking, “How will you stay relevant, current, or be ‘in the know’ if you quit social media?” I know this disconnection from social media probably sounds like the proverbial “burying my head in the sand” scenario to many of you, and maybe it is, though it doesn’t feel like my head is being buried, instead it feels more like shedding welding goggles.  

Social media is a clever distraction, sure it has some usefulness but it is not a replacement for real life or for thinking for yourself.  Therefore, you might find it helpful to ask yourself, what are the benefits I am receiving from the online-information I consume, am I healthier or happier by what information I take in, and is my consumption of social media a choiceworthy use of my time?   Finally, consider Paul’s admonition in Eph 5:15-16, “15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.”

Antisocial media

Certainly we are not the first generation of people to disagree with each other.  I'm sure we are not the first to have strong opinions, and we are not the first to stoop down to name-calling with those who hold different views.  But it does seem with the advent of social media, the ease in which we condescendingly attack other people and the aggressive way we attack them personally, not just their ideas/views, has exploded. 

What doesn't make sense to me, lately, is how we jump to character assassination these days.  The force of the vitriolic and bombastic language across social media between people who are basically the same in most ways, save their views on certain topics, is deeply disturbing. 

Sadly, Social media has become an Antisocial outlet for mean-spirited and hateful people. 

Basically, what we're becoming is a culture of super-critical people who hide behind our keyboards or smartphone screens, practicing emotional drive-by-shootings.  I have no idea what people think they are accomplishing when they slam other people so harshly on social media? 

If you disagree strongly with someone on politics, religion, or what-have you, insulting them and attempting to degrade them on social media doesn't actually address the subject you disagree on.  Instead, it makes you look insecure, highly negative, less credible, and rather immature.  Trying to get your point across doesn't have to be a competition of who whines & cries the loudest, or who has the best put-downs. 

I have no problem with dialog or debate, and I'm not even proposing that people can't voice disagreements on social media, I'm not the Facebook Police...  The only way we become certain of what we believe and the best way to learn, is to compare and contrast our ideas.  I can get along with people who hold different views and I try hard not to base my friendships or my civility on the opinions of other people.  We don't have to see everything the same or agree on everything, but we should learn to agree to disagree with a little less mudslinging and a lot more honor and integrity.