You've heard it said when people are successful or just plain lucky, they happened to be in the right place at the right time, and conversely when we are unlucky, what do they say? They say, we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Is this a valid way to look at life, or is it a victimhood mentality/excuse?
Take for example your DNA or genetics, they are all completely out of your control. Just like the family you were born into or the grade school you attended. Today, the career you are in or the neighborhood you now live in, did you choose any of them or were they thrust upon you against your will? Do you really have free will and what good is it when so much of this life seems to be directed by forces outside of our wishes?
The question pounding us like 20 Ton Hammer is: How can we find satisfaction, meaning, or even purpose when we feel so powerless? Are you looking for a mature response to this? Here's what I think. What we really struggle with is the reality that while we might not be in control of much of our life, we are still responsible for our choices & behaviors, and in some way we pay for or are rewarded by our actions & attitudes.
As you wrestle with "being in control and being responsible" as you are being in the moment, I'll leave you with this, consider Solomon's advice and his reflection on all of this in Eccl 9, "9 Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. 10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might, for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going. 11 Again I saw that under the sun the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to the intelligent, nor favor to those with knowledge, but time and chance happen to them all. 12 For man does not know his time. Like fish that are taken in an evil net, and like birds that are caught in a snare, so the children of man are snared at an evil time, when it suddenly falls upon them. "