The key to succeed in Concrete Construction

Concrete is one of the toughest and most rewarding jobs on the planet, not everyone who starts out working concrete finishes strong.  What is the determining factor that separates those who make it from those who fail in our industry?

Being a second generation concrete tradesman, I'm of the opinion that the number one indicator of your  success is beyond your personal talent, drive, ambition, skill, or opportunity.  Success comes down to having a supportive spouse, one that understands the nature of our industry, and can be understanding of its demands.  

I have worked concrete in several different states and I've been involved in several different areas of concrete, from footing crews, foundations crews, flatwork crews, both residential and commercial, I have worked in both union and non-union, I had the blessing of writing for Concrete Construction for seven years while they were still operational, and these days we own our own concrete pumping business (Our pumping website).  In all the years and in all of the different experiences, for me personally and from what I've observed in others, having a spouse that is behind you, supports you, believes in you, and can work with you in whatever their capacity is, that is the key to succeeding in concrete. 

How do we develop a relationship with our spouse that leads towards their better understanding of what we do?  Communication is vital.  My wife and I talk about everything and the everyday stuff that happens on our jobs daily, and over the years she has gained invaluable insights into concrete.  She knows all the technical jargon as well as "how to" in most all areas of placing and finishing concrete.  She has helped me pump concrete multiple times as well as finish concrete over the years.  I can honestly say I couldn't do what I do without her and I wouldn't be where I am without her.

Also, to bring your spouse along with you, it is important to attend concrete centered events, together.  My wife and I have gone to the World of Concrete together a few times.  We have gone to other concrete seminars together, we enjoy growing and learning, together.  We have grown in our appreciation of our great industry together over the years.

Another way to partner with your spouse is to introduce your spouse to other contractors, other concrete folks, and this includes the sales-folks, dispatchers, and plant managers at the ready-mix plant.  When your spouse sees themselves on the same level relationship-wise as you are with other people in our industry, they have buy-in and they are as invested in the relationships as you are.  

Bounce ideas about concrete off of your spouse, bid jobs together, set prices together.  Include each other as much as possible.  The stronger your marriage is, the better headspace you occupy.  Think of all of the time lost when co-workers go through a divorce.  Think of how non-productive folks on the crew are when they are fighting with their spouse.  

No other earthly relationship you have will influence your work like that with your spouse (not to take away from your relationship spiritually with God).  Therefore, include your spouse and involve them as much as possible, and the more you grow together in our industry the more successful you'll be.  

Click here for a Great song on video about this very topic

The real problem with Tucker Carlson that no one talks about

 

The problem with Tucker Carlson, you say?  The problem with Tucker Carlson is obviously going to be different for many different people, yet there is one single problem nearly all people have with him be it friend or foe.  

If you are with Fox News the problem is, why won't he just go away? The problem with Tucker Carlson if you are in D.C. or the White House isn't is he right?  It's what if the people believe him?  But for the rest of us, what's the real problem?  And yes there is a problem.  

Some people will say the problem with Tucker Carlson is that he's just an entertainer and he takes no responsibility for what he has said, right or wrong.  He's not to be trusted, that's the consensus for many of Tucker's detractors.  But this isn't the real problem we have with Tucker.  There are plenty of talkingheads, politicians, and celebrities which people practically worship, yet we easily overlook their troublemaking, deceptions, their bending of truth, morals, or ethics, etc., so dependability or reliability isn't the real problem with Tucker Carlson.   If he was were merely a charlatan, you'd just ignore him like L. Ron Hubbard, but you can't because of the problem he poses to each of us.  

Nearly everyone has the same problem with Tucker, be it folks in politics, folks at Fox, folks at NPR or in the Cable News industry, and especially more than likely even his fans share.  The problem with Tucker Carlson in this day and age when we all have been bullied into submission, keeping our opinions to ourselves, the problem is, Tucker says what he thinks.  It should be refreshing, but it's not, it's infuriating to many of us.    

You think UFOS are real, there are some conspiracy theories that are in the realm of the possible, you don't like the LBGQ's militant agenda, you distrusted motivations of the people heading BLM, you question the last election, you don't think drag queens should read stories to kindergarteners, the list goes on, and even though you are in the majority, you are silenced by the fear of being censored or by offending someone.  Not Tucker.  Facebook jail will never deter him, nor will losing his job.  

Is he merely a provocateur?  Does he really believe the things he says?   Those questions don't matter, what troubles us is that he will say what he thinks, or for the benefit of those who doubt his sincerity, he says what he wants to say and he does it better than anyone else.  That's a problem, whether you believe him or not, he says whatever he wants to say and that makes everyone uncomfortable, it causes people to be resentful and bitter, because most everyone wishes they had the courage to say what was on their mind.

No one will have to forcefully take away our First Amendment rights if we allow peer pressure to rule over us and we keep our opinions to ourselves just so we can fit in or be accepted, or make complete strangers happy.  We all feel threatened by Tucker Carlson or challenged by him but for very different reasons.  Make no mistake about, there's a problem with Tucker Carlson, and that problem is that he reminds us of what dialogue and debate used to stand for, and how we all wish we could just "say it like it is."  

Overcoming hypocrisy/smashing church-masks

 

Sadly, religion seems like a magnet for phony people -- ironically, most hypocrites are also judgmental.  I can’t stomach fake christians because Hypocrisy provides people an excuse for unbelief in a world already struggling to believe. 

Stage actors in ancient Greece (called hypocrites) wore masks when they performed; “hypocrite” literally meant “An interpreter from underneath.” Jesus took a technical term hundreds of years old and repurposed it when He coined “hypocrite” to describe “supposed” people of faith who hid their misbehavior behind the trappings of their religion. 

How do we avoid being hypocrites?  Don’t pretend to be something you aren’t and embrace vulnerability, taking into account Eccl 7:20, “Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins.” 

The clearer you can see your own imperfections the less likely you are to be blinded by self-righteousness — the less aware you are of your own shortcomings the easier it is to focus on the flaws of others.

I used to worry about what other church members thought of me, as in, if they knew I wasn’t an infallible perfect christian, then they wouldn’t want me around -- they certainly wouldn’t have me as their preacher.  When we project a fake version of ourselves just to be accepted, that mission fails miserably. 

Pretending we are perfect is a lie, namely because we aren’t.  Also, pretending keeps people away who are honest with their own fallibilities, we are effectively saying, “You won’t fit in here,” then they can’t see a place at the Table for themselves.  Furthermore, when we pretend to be perfect and our imperfections eventually ooze out, it drives people away, destroying the reputation of the church.  

Jesus clarified His mission: Reach sinners, “And as he reclined at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners were reclining with Jesus and his disciples, for there were many who followed him.  And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?”  And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”  (Mk 2:15-17)

By the way, we all sin. 

When James wrote, “Confess your sins” it wasn’t as if church members could erase each other's sins -- James wasn’t suggesting we would be forgiven by God by confessing to another human.  “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (James 5:16)  James was encouraging us to take off our “church mask” and to be vulnerable, to basically “keep it real.”  

In other words, relationships are strengthened and people live better lives when they accept mutual accountability and share their struggles instead of hiding them.  No one is perfect, yet for some reason too many christians attempt to project a vision of perfection, much to the detriment of the Body.

I’m not suggesting that we make excuses, forfeit our integrity, cast off all restraint, give up trying our best to live up to our Biblical standards, or that we cease pursuing spiritual maturity & God’s transformation.  I am saying, we don’t have the ability to be 100% flawless in this lifetime, it’s healthier to come to grips with our struggle and simply be honest about it than it is to hide behind a mask -- we need to be comfortable in our own skin and smash our church masks.  

Originally published 5/27/23 in the Kingsport Times News:

https://www.timesnews.net/living/features/craig-cottongim-pretending-we-are-perfect-is-a-lie/article_f72ded64-e513-11ed-b2a6-07fd0a51e9a7.html

Tucker Carlson, welcome to our world.

 Apparently Tucker Carlson has realized what preachers have known for generations, it is risky to speak your mind. There’s a price to be paid for speaking your mind when you communicate for a living. Tucker has experienced the weight of golden chains, this is a pressure well known to ministers and their families.

I learned early on in ministry that the church elder who determines what could be questioned or what questions could be addressed, and who dictates which topics are off limits, that person was the one who was in charge.  Tucker is learning about that firsthand himself, I feel like saying to Tucker, “hold my beer…”

I wish I always had the confidence I have now, to be able to freely speak my mind. Honestly, it is intimidating to know that your livelihood is on the line if you go against the grain. But it shouldn’t be that way. 

I’m not smart enough to know the difference between censorship and power-plays or control and manipulation I don’t know what end of the spectrum Tucker is on, I do not feel his first amendment rights are being violated, or that he is not allowed to speak his mind, he’s only deplatformed at Fox.  He’s too talented to stay on the sidelines for long  

If the Internet is to be trusted, Fox News is paying him handsomely to stay home. I don’t think he is suffering greatly, although I do think he is feeling the pressure of being repressed. 

Tucker, who I’m a fan of, just has to find his outlet. To be honest, I am surprised our local newspaper prints half of the columns that I submit. Also, I love blogging because here I can speak my mind freely and people are welcome to read or not, it is after all a free country.

By the way, if Tucker is in your opinion a persona non grata, sub him from the equation and insert Don Lemon, formally of CNN.   They were coincidently fired on the same day, I like Tucker, but choose your example however you like.  The point still stands, if you communicate for a living whenever you speak your mind, you take a risk.

So Tucker is experiencing how nasty it can get when you speak out and the folks holding the purse strings balk, ministers and their families have known this for a very long time, but there’s a bigger lesson that applies to us all here.

We do not have to agree with people to respect them, it is appropriate to have differing views and to dialogue about them. The problem that Tucker Carlson and his recent experience is highlighting is that we have lost the art of dialogue in this country. We have somehow drawn the wrong conclusion, we have decided as a culture that unanimity & total agreement are necessary for conversation.  Nothing could be further from the truth. 

How to Stop School shootings

Shame on us all for risking the wellbeing of our school aged children, essentially our society has done nothing to protect them. We can’t hide behind our good intentions or political platitudes -- as the old saying goes, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

Should we arm all of the school teachers or disarm our citizens? Neither extreme would work.

The despicable politicizing of mass shootings by both liberals and conservatives is beyond counterproductive, it is repugnant. Seemingly, Gun control is the quintessential Lightning-Rod topic of our age, but sadly while we were championing our positions on gun control we all have perpetually failed to protect our children.

We need more compassion and less condemnation from each other when we are on opposite sides of gun control debates. Is it plausible to think we can alleviate our suffering? Not if we keep fighting each other (left vs right, conservative vs liberal) instead of addressing the actual problem.

We all need to ask: What if gun laws aren’t enough to stem the horrific monstrosity of slaughtering school children? Our children deserve to live secure lives without the fear of being killed in class. While we all agree the safety of our youth is vital, sadly because we are so polarized we refuse to agree on how to keep our children safe.

The missing piece from our not so nuanced National conversation is the fact that slaughtering anyone is a matter of the heart, not of the courthouse. Would you kill children if it were legalized -- of course not, therefore you know in your heart of hearts killing children is not simply a matter of legality.

On a mission trip in the 1990’s my wife and I noticed an absence of garbage cans on the city streets of London. When I asked why there were no garbage cans I was told that the IRA placed bombs in the cans. Maybe you remember the Boston Marathon bombing of 2013, when the bombers used a crockpot or a pressure cooker to construct/conceal their bomb.

Can you imagine a world without a pocket knife of your choice? Today in London it’s illegal to carry a pocket knife over 3 inches long, all locking blades are all illegal, and absolutely no fixed blades are allowed because determined evil people have slashed their way through crowded spaces aiming to kill as many Westerners as possible.

People with the intent to destroy large numbers of others will poison, blow up, bludgeon, stab, derail trains, they will do whatever it takes to wreak havoc. Regulating sane people will not stop insane people from attacking innocent bystanders -- any monster can weaponize a minivan and mow down pedestrians, anywhere anytime.

We have hundreds of mass-shootings every year and there are people who should never own a gun, that is a fact. It’s also factual that sane, upstanding, law-abiding citizens are not responsible for the violent acts of sociopaths.

Sane people do not go around killing innocent people, only sociopathic monsters do. School shootings, church shootings, shootings in shopping malls, theaters, shootings anywhere are driven by deranged people and I’ll add, demonic forces too. Consider I JN 5:19, “We know that we are from God, and the whole world lies in the power of the evil one.”

Heaven help us on the day we are persuaded politicians have penned laws that will penetrate the hearts of people. Even ardent atheists will acknowledge, it’s nearly impossible to legislate morality. Laws don’t protect people any more than locking your front door does to keep out burglars.

Once we realize that the killing of other people is a spiritual problem and a mental health issue and not a legal problem, maybe then we can focus on possible solutions to stem the bloodshed. Capitol Hill will never provide the solution for mass murders -- a solution to our national crisis will only be a result of purposefully keeping our children secure.

Our too frequent inexcusable school shootings are a spiritual matter -- the sooner society sees school shootings as spiritual issues the sooner safety solutions may surface. As long as we treat slaughtering children merely as a crime issue that laws could regulate instead of seeing the taking of life as a spiritual problem and start treating life as sacred, we will keep losing precious lives to evil people.

It’s tough to legislate morality but since it’s easier to argue about unenforceable laws than it is to change the hearts of people, we keep on wasting time arguing. We have a killing problem on this planet and in our country not a method problem; take away all the guns and evil people will resort to some other method, as the old saying goes, “If you outlaw guns, then only the outlaws will have guns.” Guns are a smokescreen, they aren’t the problem -- we the people are.

My opinion is simple: Restricting rational people will never deter deranged people from harming us. Crazed, evil, malicious people will stop at nothing from harming others once they have decided to. Lawless, demonic, sociopaths will not be swayed by any laws. We need to stop pointing fingers, quit blaming each other, and acknowledge a painful reality: When our children are in danger, no one in society is safe.

Originally published in the Times News 4/28/23 

 

Finally feasted on my dream dish

If you know me, you know how much I love food, grilling, cooking, eating, I love food.  I've read Hemingway's memoir "Movable feast" at least two times, and parts of the book caught my attention and stirred within me a dull curiosity about French cuisine.  But, instead of EH, it was Bourdain who started me off on a French themed quest that would take years to find its destination.  

Thanks to Bourdain, for several years now I have wanted to try a French fare called foie gras. As a foodie, it became my Holy Grail. When I stumbled across foie gras for the very first time in the writings of Anthony Bourdain I assumed it was some type of collard greens from the name/spelling of it. 

So, I googled it.  It's not a green.  

Foie gras, pronounced “fuwa gra” is typically goose liver though duck is used too.  The only restaurants to serve this dish to my knowledge are French.   Therefore when Tammy and I were planning a visit with good friends near a French restaurant, we made reservations at the Maison Blanche

I made the reservations two weeks beforehand.  To say I was anxiously anticipating our meal would be an understatement. I love liver sausage, liverwurst, beef liver, chicken liver, so I knew that the fattened goose liver had to be great as well.  But, could it turn out like Turkish delight?

I remember reading in “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” where C. S. Lewis wrote about Turkish delight, and it was supposed to be so good when the White witch offers it to Edmund, it’s irresistible. Well, when Tammy and I visited England, that wasn’t my experience with Turkish delight at all. 

I’m not embarrassed, I’ll admit it, foie gras became an obsession for me, it became my ambrosia.  I talked about it often, I asked questions of those who were familiar with it, and eagerly sought it out.  For years.  

The big night finally came, but the Maison Blanche (White mansion in French) wasn’t much to look at from the street. In fact, it is adjoining a lackluster looking hotel. Once you enter, there’s an absence of artwork, windows, or any attractive décor. There are white curtains from floor to ceiling throughout. You can’t see into the kitchen. The hostess station looked more like one for a hair salon than a restaurant.  The tables were slightly smaller than I expected. 

Your elementary school teacher was right, don’t ever judge a book by its cover.  Clearly the chef wants no distractions from the real reason you come to his restaurant, you are there for the gourmet food, not the decorations.  

The entire evening at the Maison Blanche was amazing, absolutely exceeding my expectations.  Each course was excellent. We all enjoyed our food, and yes, the foie gras which is served as an appetizer was beyond delicious.  

Tasting the foie gras for the first time was to me like a combination of one's first flight in a jet and watching a sunset over the south rim of the Grand Canyon.  To say it was nearly a mystical experience for me personally wouldn't be an exaggeration.  

The portion was not much more than a morsel, yet it had more flavor packed in it than an entire slab of meat.  The chef drizzled a flavorful reduction sauce on the liver, and the liver was resting on a bed of risotto.  

The delicate, tender, and flavorful liver was nut-brown on the outside, the inside held a pale tone that was as soft in color as it was in texture while the outer part had a wonderful firm pleasurable texture from being seared.  The inside was nearly moist, much more fragile and frail than the exterior.  

Unlike what you might expect from liver there was no bitterness nor strong scent at all, it tasted fantastic, slightly buttery, deeply flavorful.  It was extremely delicious and eating it was the most delightful meal I've ever experienced at the table.  

I had never eaten French food or even been in a French restaurant before, I didn't really know what to expect.  Maison Blanche exposed me to a standard of service like I've never experienced in my entire life.  I have never been so well attended to. The silverware was small but the superb service wasn't. 

I will say this: A night out at the Maison Blanche isn't one you do alone.  It's best experienced with good friends and loved ones.  Like most of the best times in life, it's better when you share those special experiences together. 

A final word on foie gras, I'm slowly building up the courage to one day prepare foie gras myself.  I've reached out to a culinary friend for advice on where to get it, and how to cook it --actually, I reached out to him before we ate at Maison Blanche.  I'm quite sure there will be pictures to follow when that day comes, but until then I'll relish this memory.  

Yes, a night like that is pricey.  Without hesitation I would do it again, Lord willing we will next time we are in town.  Tammy and I enjoy gathering fresh and memorable experiences more so than accumulating possessions.  

We are taking a philosophy or approach to living that memories fill our life better than gathering that which would clutter.  While we never stop improving our home and creating a space we don't need a vacation from, as the saying goes, lately in this phase of life we are enjoying traveling and sharing good meals together more than pursuing collections. 

Food, fun, fellowship, and time with people who love you for who you are, I highly recommend it.  

What I've learned over the last 36 years of April Fools' days

 

           (My 19th birthday, Tammy's treat at Benihanas, and the oldest picture of us that I know of)

I suppose it sounds a bit like cosmic comedy to say you met your spouse for the first time on April Fools' day, but 36 years ago on this day today I met the love of my life Tammy.  April 1st, 1987 I was hanging out with Pete Tunk, a friend since kindergarten and still is to this day, and that night he invited Tammy and friend over to hang out with us. 

Tammy had on a black shirt, khaki colored pants, and her radiant red hair was up in a ponytail, an image forever woven into my favorite memories.  The rest is, as they say, history.

That night, staring at Tammy I was mesmerized, enchanted, captivated, I was in love, and I knew she was the one, that she was going to be my future wife and barley over a year later she became my bride. So yes there is a "love at first sight" that lasts.  

Together we have brought children into this world, seen parents leave this world, and we have built a life together that is beyond blessed.  We've lived in different towns and states over the last three-plus decades, and no matter the distances we've traveled from our hometowns, we've only grown closer over the years  

We have an enduring love, a relationship that works, and we are happy together.  It's no cliché, we are actually best friends.

It sounds amazing, but true love grows closer over the years, I love Tammy more and more as each day goes by, as each month ends, as the years continue and as one decade blurs into the next.  I can't see myself ever not as a couple, never as just Craig, it will always be "Craig & Tammy"  or "Tammy and Craig"  but it never be just me.

What I've learned after all these years is that for love to work, yes God has to be at the center.  No surprise there.  We don't rush each other, we don't bully or pressure each other, we know how to cooperate.  We know how to be mutually supportive and work together.

Tammy has at every step of the way supported me.  Whether it was going back to school, being in ministry or starting our business, she has never doubted me or my abilities.  When I need time to write, she protects that time for me, and she is my greatest encourager.  She sees the best in me, even when I can't see it.  Especially when I can't.

We never talk poorly of each other to our friends, even on those days if we disagree.  We work through our problems.  We know how to argue without being combative.  We know how to complement and compliment each other.  We've learned the art of healthy relationships and how to be a buffer or to be buffered.  How & why?  Because we've made a choice to be there for each other and we know a solid relationship is worth it.

You can choose to love your spouse and to make their world a little better on a daily basis.  It is more rewarding to build your spouse up than to tear them down, or worse yet to simply ignore them or their needs.  Lots of love, lots of intimacy, lots of kind words, lots of affirmation builds for an exciting and enduring love-life.  

What else can I say?  Prioritize your spouse.  Support your spouse.  Encourage your spouse.  See the potential in your spouse.  Nurture your relationship, spend time together, learn to be less selfish and more thoughtful.  It's worth it.

So, after 36 years of knowing Tammy I have learned that life with your best friend is the best type of life.  I've learned that couples can thrive together through the ups & downs of life.  I've learned that "Till death do we part" is more than possible, it is paradise here on earth.