Raising A culture of Unruly Rudeness: At what cost?

Without trying to sound like the prophet of doom, we aren’t preparing our children for independence, we are preparing them for incarceration. Everyone pays the price when we devalue discipline. 

Certainly not every child these days is a hellion, so at the risk of sounding like a crotchety old curmudgeon, the problem of disrespectful children is out of control. To be clear, I’m talking about poor attitudes, troublemaking, and the rejection of respect that is rampant today, not rambunctious children simply being innocent kids.

People are fed up with ill-mannered children, not energetic kids. For example, school is back in session but we never seem to have enough bus drivers. But this perennial issue isn’t because we’re lacking qualified drivers as a society; few people are willing to tolerate contemptuous children or the lack of support when it comes to disciplining them.

The difficulty in recruiting/retaining bus drivers (or substitute teachers) highlights how malignant our problem with disrespect has become. Somehow we’ve managed to raise a generation of punks who our own grandparents would be ashamed of and no one seems to bat an eye.

Why have school districts across the country abolished disciplining students? As a child if I misbehaved at school, I could expect to be disciplined at school and then again at home. Maybe schools have backed off on correction because they have lost parental support, fearing the wrath of helicopter and bulldozer parents.

On top of that, we’ve nurtured a generation of entitled “adults” who’ve never quite grown up. Man, I do sound like a grumpy old man but I’m tired of our cultural immaturity and the fact that we are ignoring it. This problem isn’t going to fix itself and it is only going to get worse -- we are on a dangerous trajectory which won’t end well without a course correction.

Do manners really matter? Is being polite a virtuous trait? How have we failed as a culture to instill courteousness and consideration in our youth?

What has corrupted our uncivilized youth? Like Dennis Rodman's disclaimer nearly 30 years ago, “I’m no role model,” we can’t blame it on Homer & Bart Simpson’s influence either, even if the Simpsons is the longest running TV series, racking up the most seasons and episodes of any show in history. Perhaps prioritizing etiquette, values, and ethics are all on a downward spiral because of our decline in church attendance?

Where does the societal responsibility lay for rearing respectful young adults? At our feet, we can’t expect our schools or our churches to raise our kids for us. Respect begins in the home.

Many parents struggle with actually parenting, because they are tempted to be their child’s friends instead, but these “cool” parents aren’t doing their children any favors. “Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death. A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again. Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” (Prov 19:18-20)

Not many people “like” discipline, self-discipline is a struggle. Proper diet and exercise are fundamental to our wellbeing, yet why do people often pay for personal trainers and coaches? Because they want someone to do the discipline for them, but others can’t discipline for us, it has to be us.

We will either endure the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret -- one is beneficial and one is not, you decide which is best. Hebrews 12:11, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

When parents raise ill-mannered disrespectful children, we all suffer. Prov 29:15-17, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. When the wicked increase, transgression increases, but the righteous will look upon their downfall. Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.”


The deeper problem contributing to the rise of rude children might not be poor family dynamics, a lack of leadership in our schools, or people neglecting church attendance. Instead the real bedrock issue is, to our own detriment, no one believes in consequences anymore.

The disheartening rage over "Rich men north of Richmond"

 

The internet has exploded once again.  Beware of the right-wingers! is the mantra of every liberal outlet this weekend.  Why are they in an uproar? Everyone that works for a living is posting Oliver Anthony's anthem, "Rich men north of Richmond" 

Obviously the location north of Richmond is Washing DC.  Who can argue with Anthony that the Swamp is corrupt and the politicians we voted in are loathsome scum?  Not me.  He's hit a nerve and everyone's feeling the pain.  

What we do with the pain is vital for our mental and emotional wellbeing. 

It’s easier to criticize a creative work of art than it is to create something yourself, the song is catchy it’s well written and performed flawlessly, it's very well done.  My goal isn't to critique the music.  The problem seems to be a cultural bait & switch:  Bad men in DC, to unfair wages, to woe is me.  

My overall guess is Anthony wants to motivate us, but to what and how to?  He probably doesn't know the answers to get us out of our problems anymore than any of us know how.   He's fed up like the rest of us.  

His vocals are amazing, the main point of the song is spot on, so I'm not criticizing Anthony, I'm raising an awareness that’s obviously missing in the conversation over capitalism and the fact for a lot of people hard work doesn't seem to payoff.  I am a capitalist, but I'm also a realist and I'm keenly tuned into the feelings I hear expressed every day.  

Life is hard.  The system is rigged.  There are no easy answers and I can't pretend to have the answers to the problems with getting ahead in life.  The song  "Rich men north of Richmond" is just one example of the angst that everyone is feeling these days.  My goal here is to address my fears and concerns for the mental & emotional wellbeing that come along when we feel powerless and oppressed.  

Any advice I could offer always can be labeled as "that's easier said than done" or looked upon as "who are you to say?"   There are no easy answers to the problems we all face these days.  But I worry about how we are making matters worse for ourselves when we don't ask deeper questions or analyze how our rage without action consumes us then cripples us.  

I believe Anthony is well-intentioned and has every right to voice his well thought out and accurate opinion.  But if nothing changes for you after you digest the song, you'll be in a worse headspace than you were before you memorized the song, and that worries me.  

I’m not interested in fault finding or finding flaws in the song or the musician, it’s concern for the audience I'm take issue with. Compliance, is still compliance even if you complain about it, but are we hurting ourselves further by our reactions to the situation while we are at a loss for a response?  

There is no call to action, not anywhere it seems.  I love Tucker Carlson, he raises these same issues we hear in this song and more, but I have yet to hear words to live by from Tucker or anyone.  I do not know what is the best course of action to take to fix the system, but I do know we are crippling ourselves as a culture emotionally by our woundedness coupled to our inaction. 

I have a high tolerance for other people's pain on most issues, but not so much on this issue.  I feel anxious and worried for the young people just getting started, and it hurts to see people I know and love trapped in the quicksand of misery.  My fear and concern for everyone is that if his message doesn't inspire anyone to action then the inaction that follows the rage truly is more demoralizing than the situation itself.  

There’s a world of difference between sounding like an angry teenager who’s mad at mom and dad and a mature adult who takes responsibility for their life, and here again I'm taking about the audience not the musician.  The resulting problem with songs like this is they typically leave the crowd in a victim mentality, mentally & emotionally immobilized.  

Please ask yourself: What changes when you feel fed up with the man keeping you down?  Nothing. You’ll still clock in Monday morning, only angrier and more fed up.  But how does that help you?

The weekend will pass, your paycheck half gone to taxes and you feel helpless. Feeling worse about your situation isn't healthy.  Failure to take a risk to is a failure to reap the rewards. Over time, enviously stewing in feelings of weakness instead of being defiant against the problems or The Man, begins to leave one feeling defeated.  

My criticism isn’t leveled at the musician, and it's not meant to be harsh.  When we jump on the bandwagon “the man is keeping me down” it only seems to increase our emotional suffering.  Pouting about the Man feels good over the weekend but then Monday comes and that pouting turns to self-loathing, and you begin to hate yourself for you've let the Man do to you. 

I wish it was as easy as saying "Toss your tea in the harbor, refuse to participate in a system that you sustain, start your own company, stand together and make a difference." But I know those words ring empty and smack of pride.  

Whatever you choose, to do something different or not on Monday morning, I know that wallowing in self-misery isn't what anyone wants for themself.  All I want to do here is ask that everyone sees the personal harm we do to ourselves when we only look at our problems and we don't look for solutions.