Fight for it

 

She was radiantly beautiful, and in that enchanting moment she literally was like a vision from a fairytale.  I was so honored to be officiating her marriage because she was the nearest thing to a daughter I ever had -- in fact for over 20 years I had hoped this special young woman would grow up one day to marry one of our sons.  And, when I saw her walking down the aisle as the audience stood in unison, I lost control.  

I’ve performed plenty of weddings but this was a first for me.  The preacher isn’t supposed to lose his composure and bawl like a baby at times like this.  But it was useless to fight the tears, I was so choked up I was powerless to continue.  I began to cry so hard that her mother beside me, her bridesmaid, handed me her handkerchief.  I turned my back, collected myself, and then turned back and haltingly I continued the wedding ceremony.  

Almost nothing can compare to the joy of such momentous days.  We still have their “save the date” magnet on our fridge.  Next month marks the two year anniversary of their special day.  But presently that young couple is completely separated and sadly they are preparing to get divorced.  

I’m not sure why, but around 50% of all marriages dissolve.  There are many factors and variables leading into a divorce, from career choices to our friend circles, to the input of key people in our lives.   

I heard long ago that going through a divorce is like “fighting a skunk in a phone booth.”  If divorce was categorized as a disease, it would be our greatest epidemic -- sadly, somehow we’ve normalized it.  

There's more heartache experienced through divorce than most any other monumental tragedy in life.  And if there are children, the heartaches continue -- custody issues, ball games, graduations, their marriages, arrival of grandchildren, holidays, the list goes on of where you are awkwardly in attendance with your Ex over and over again.  

And, on top of this pain which divorcees experience, there are too many judgmental churches who hypocritically stigmatize the divorced, treating those in failed marriages as if they are failures themselves.  Shame on us for making anyone feel ostracized -- talk about shooting your wounded!

As the church, we probably need to dedicate more time praying more for our families as a whole.  We are nothing if we are not Christians who nurture the family unit.  I don’t care how many needs we meet in our community, if we neglect our families our work is in vain.  

I believe that all married couples can realistically reconcile their differences and that if they want to strongly enough, they can avoid divorce and work through any struggles, but only if they want to.  I also know, if they don’t want to work out their problems, they won’t.   Marriage isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth fighting for.  It’s time for the church to stand up and fight.  

Originally printed in the Kingsport Times news 11/11/22

https://www.timesnews.net/living/features/craig-cottongim-marriage-is-worth-fighting-for/article_6674479a-4a5f-11ed-9aee-a3598401ba6f.html

 

The tale of the faithful crockpot

 

I can't complain, it's part of being a homeowner.  This month the blower motor went out on the air handler and between having it diagnosed, getting the part ordered and getting it installed we were without heat/AC for two weeks.  Mere days after that repair, just yesterday morning hours before our houseguests arrived, our garbage disposal ruptured and leaked water everywhere.  But not to be outdone, yesterday evening our hot water heater gave up the ghost, leaving our guests the joy of taking cold showers as they were the ones to discover we had no hot water.  

If only more appliances were as dependable as our old Crockpot.   The Crockpot pictured above has served us faithfully for well over 20 years.  We picked it up at the end of the last century in Springfield, MO on our way back to Jacksonville, IL after attending the Tulsa Soul Winning Workshop.  To this day we use it regularly, and if you know us well you might even recognize it.  

This old Crockpot has never let me down.  At the church in Jacksonville we had monthly potlucks, and I cooked dozens of cornedbeefs in those days.  I'd run to the fellowship-hall on Saturday night, set the Crockpot on low, and by time church was over Sunday, voila!  Here in Kingsport as well, the old Crockpot provided for many a potluck in our early days here.  And who knows how many meals we've cooked at home, or how many gallons of soupbeans we've cooked or meals shared over the years.

This old Crockpot has helped us bless others with the gift of hospitality numerous times, to many times to remember, and it has been a faithful standby for many homemade meals.  I only wish the folks who made our "slow cooker" could have made the rest of our appliances...

I know our recent inconveniences with failed appliances are nothing compared to the travails suffered from recent flooding in Southeast KY, or the pounding the folks took in FL from their recent hurricane.  And again, I'm really not complaining about these repairs, it's to be expected because nothing lasts forever.  I'm grateful for a roof over our heads, a warm bed to sleep in, plenty to eat, and that we have the resources to pay for our repairs when these things happen, God is good.