Mosaic art is interesting, because it's an art that utilizes brokenness. Instead of discarding shattered pieces of pottery or glass, the artist makes a new creation out of the "worthless" broken material.
You can't hope to punish others or yourself and hope for fulfilment simultaneously; you must choose one or the other. You can either continue to re-live your past, or you can build a new future, but you can't have both.
You may think I'm talking about forgiveness, and in a sense you're right. But I expect you've read enough about forgiveness to know you can't expect an instant miracle. You expect to feel free and renewed but you aren't yet. What's wrong with you, or God, you might ask. Maybe you can't overcome the past because you still see all the pain and the destructiveness of that horrible chapter in your life, and your imagination and attention is still glued to the mistakes which were played out in your past. Until we go through the stages of forgiveness, like admitting we hate the offender (for awhile) and getting past the hate to see the humanness in all off ourselves, and then forming a desire to move on, we are going to stay "stuck" somewhere along the way.
How do I get over "it" and move on? There are several answers, most you've already heard. Let me throw out one maybe you haven't thought of. God is referred to as a potter in the Scripture, you know, "He is the potter and we are the clay." I want you to think of an analogy, that of a mosaic. Pick up the broken pieces of your life and make them into something more beautiful than you had before the trainwreck happened.
How can we do that? One piece at a time. Patiently. And by God's hand. If your hand is jealously clinging tightly to broken pieces of the past, so tight your blood is oozing between your fingers, how can God or anyone help you transform your tragedy? Use those bloody shards as a palate of colors to create a piece so glorious, it casts a brighter light than your darkest past ever could have.