Monday, July 4, 2016
What people really want
One of the best gifts I've received in this life has come my way twice. First, during the formational years of my childhood and then again throughout adulthood. As I observe people and relationships, I see clearly I've been gifted with an extremely rare prize.
Growing up my mother had the unique ability to allow me to pursue whatever path I would chose. Looking back, I know I was a weird kid; when I pretended to be Tarzan, Robin Hood, or Conan the Barbarian, she never blinked an eye. My mom never tried to shape me or fashion me into anything other than what I wanted, she allowed me to read freely and she provided me with money to buy books. She let me roam freely and explore the world around me without unnecessary restrictions. I credit my mom for my creative side and my self-confidence.
As a young adult, very young, I was blessed to marry my wife Tammy. Tammy has always supported me in whatever career choice, ambitions, or direction I've felt led towards. She encourages me and complements me, and she stands beside me in the work I do -- she sees potential in me when I don't. No matter what the form or expression of my work (while putting up with my personal quirky side) Tammy is more than supportive and she is absolutely the best fit for me. Not only is Tammy beautiful and thrilling to be with, I couldn't do what I do without her. I credit Tammy with any of my accomplishments in this life.
Where am I going with this?
What I'm trying to communicate is the power of acceptance.
People do not want to be forced to conform to what the world or others want, people want to be accepted for who they are. But, you ask, "What if they are on an unhealthy path?" The paradox is, we can only influence people when we let them be themselves.
And, all people have an instinctual reflex that kicks in when you try to manipulate them or coerce them, and it naturally causes distance. So, if you want to grow close to others you must love them and accept them for who they are, and you'll be surprised who they can become by giving them the freedom we all want -- but most rarely give.