One of the biggest paradoxes ever is the excitement of the holidays along with the sadness that accompanies the holidays. The holidays can be joyful and festive, but this season can also be rough on all of us. Some of us will go to the cemetery and sweep leaves off of our loved ones’ headstones, wishing we had one more day to spend with them.
Maybe we will look around the table during this holiday season, missing loved ones who have moved away, passed away, or who simply have decided to stay away.
Seemingly, to make it rougher during the holidays, they say that we shouldn’t talk about “religion or politics” when we gather together to celebrate. If you can’t talk about subjects you’re faithful to or passionate about with people who share the same last name as you, perhaps these relationships were too fragile in the first place.
If you have to pretend you are something you are not to maintain any relationship, then I doubt there is much of a relationship worth maintaining. I am not advocating “stirring the pot” or purposely riling people up just to be irritating. I am saying, it’s time to be yourself.
So, to be clear, the holidays can be a gloomy time and yes family gatherings are ripe for conflict — but who wants to walk on eggshells their entire life?
Now is the season to celebrate faith and family, but if you can’t express yourself freely, within reason, you’ll not only resent your family, you’ll despise yourself for being a phony.
The same can be said of your relationships at church or work.
It’s a lose-lose situation to pretend to be someone who you are not. Biting your tongue only serves to suppress what you really think, believe or stand for. When you go against yourself long enough, you slowly erode your soul.
When we pretend to be someone we aren’t to simply gain the acceptance of others, they aren’t really accepting a true version of us. So we not only deceive those around us, we senselessly censor and suppress ourselves. This isn’t healthy. The end result is, not only won’t we like those we are trying to impress, we will eventually hate ourselves for carrying on the charade.
Jesus says in John, Chapter 8 that the devil is the father of lies. Why would we want to perpetuate a false persona to those around us? That’s the biggest lie ever told!
So perhaps the best gift that you can give yourself this holiday season is the permission to be yourself. It’s honest and true, and it’s the best you that you have to offer.
Therefore, when you get together with your family and friends, talk about politics, talk about religion, share your true opinions on whatever subject comes up — don’t let anyone bully you or shame you into silence.
This holiday season, as you reminisce with your loved ones make sure you are there with them fully, but make sure it is actually the real you who is present. Not half of you, not part of you, not a fake version of what you think they want to see so they can accept you — be the real you. The reality is, if you can’t be true to yourself, you can’t be true to others.
Of course, you can already guess what the flip side of this coin is, can’t you? The same grace you hope to receive from those around you so that you can truly be yourself, you’ll need to extend to those around the table as well.
Originally published in the Kingsport TimesNews:
