I suppose it sounds a bit like cosmic comedy to say you met your spouse for the first time on April Fools' day, but 36 years ago on this day today I met the love of my life Tammy. April 1st, 1987 I was hanging out with Pete Tunk, a friend since kindergarten and still is to this day, and that night he invited Tammy and friend over to hang out with us.
Tammy had on a black shirt, khaki colored pants, and her radiant red hair was up in a ponytail, an image forever woven into my favorite memories. The rest is, as they say, history.
That night, staring at Tammy I was mesmerized, enchanted, captivated, I was in love, and I knew she was the one, that she was going to be my future wife and barley over a year later she became my bride. So yes there is a "love at first sight" that lasts.
Together we have brought children into this world, seen parents leave this world, and we have built a life together that is beyond blessed. We've lived in different towns and states over the last three-plus decades, and no matter the distances we've traveled from our hometowns, we've only grown closer over the years
We have an enduring love, a relationship that works, and we are happy together. It's no cliché, we are actually best friends.
It sounds amazing, but true love grows closer over the years, I love Tammy more and more as each day goes by, as each month ends, as the years continue and as one decade blurs into the next. I can't see myself ever not as a couple, never as just Craig, it will always be "Craig & Tammy" or "Tammy and Craig" but it never be just me.
What I've learned after all these years is that for love to work, yes God has to be at the center. No surprise there. We don't rush each other, we don't bully or pressure each other, we know how to cooperate. We know how to be mutually supportive and work together.
Tammy has at every step of the way supported me. Whether it was going back to school, being in ministry or starting our business, she has never doubted me or my abilities. When I need time to write, she protects that time for me, and she is my greatest encourager. She sees the best in me, even when I can't see it. Especially when I can't.
We never talk poorly of each other to our friends, even on those days if we disagree. We work through our problems. We know how to argue without being combative. We know how to complement and compliment each other. We've learned the art of healthy relationships and how to be a buffer or to be buffered. How & why? Because we've made a choice to be there for each other and we know a solid relationship is worth it.
You can choose to love your spouse and to make their world a little better on a daily basis. It is more rewarding to build your spouse up than to tear them down, or worse yet to simply ignore them or their needs. Lots of love, lots of intimacy, lots of kind words, lots of affirmation builds for an exciting and enduring love-life.
What else can I say? Prioritize your spouse. Support your spouse. Encourage your spouse. See the potential in your spouse. Nurture your relationship, spend time together, learn to be less selfish and more thoughtful. It's worth it.
So, after 36 years of knowing Tammy I have learned that life with your best friend is the best type of life. I've learned that couples can thrive together through the ups & downs of life. I've learned that "Till death do we part" is more than possible, it is paradise here on earth.
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