Don't be blinded by the light

 Recently some wiseguy behind me had his bright lights on during my entire drive down 11W, and honestly, I couldn’t wait for my turn to brightlight him.  All I could think about for ten solid minutes was that once he passed me, I’d show him how it felt...  Then he suddenly changed lanes, finally, only to enter the Pinnacle -- robbing me of my chance to get even!

Then it hit me.  While I was irritated, obsessing over “my turn” to brightlight him, I spoiled God’s blessings surrounding me.  The drive from Kingsport to Bristol on 11W is pleasant, not to mention the sunrise I completely ignored while being consumed with the situation.  I allowed myself to be preoccupied with getting even, ruining the beauty of that morning.  

Sadly, I gave up control.  I could’ve slowed down or pulled over and let the guy with the bright lights pass me.  I could’ve increased my speed slightly and instead of self-righteously using my cruise control, move along a little quicker and escape his bright lights.  

When we are offended we assume we know the other person’s motivations, but the chances are there are circumstances we’ve no clue about.  The guy following me might not have realized his brights were on, or maybe his headlights needed repairing and only worked on bright.  Instead of looking for the best in people (like we all want for ourselves) the lens of vengeance blinds us, it distorts reality by showing us people in the worst possible light.  

Seeking vengeance not only ignores God’s command to let Him take care of it, we neglect God’s command to love others, to treat others how we want to be treated, and we forget about not judging others by a higher standard.  Vengeance (which can’t undo the past) doesn’t bring out the best in us, it brings out our worst -- reducing us even lower than our “villain’s” own character, maybe that’s why Prov 19:11 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”

Vengeance robs us of enjoying our blessings, it dehumanizes the people we hope to punish, it steals God’s role of administering justice properly all the while pretending we are the only important person in the universe.  Whenever we withhold grace for whatever reasons, we forfeit the foundation of our faith -- demonizing others is destructive to our souls.  

Vengeance is problematic, namely, we can’t control it once we unleash it.  We hear too often of how drive-by shootings turn out -- think about the toddler in a highchair or kindergartner watching TV on the couch caught in the crossfire.  

Most of the time, our motivations are petty/immature because vengeance deceives us into believing we are all-powerful but instead it reveals just how weak we really are.  Worst of all, the desire for revenge becomes our god because we practically worship it, giving it all of our attention, allowing it to dominate us, freely giving it our strongest devotion possible.

Originally published in the Kingsport Times News 6/23/23

https://www.timesnews.net/living/features/craig-cottongim-dont-let-vengeance-blind-you/article_c162fdfe-fb1c-11ed-a129-f333e5b8879a.html?fbclid=IwAR1Y_6OdMBNn6qC-qDHocpPZZlbU3_55yRHnw25iV2GL6hP9UiXWySeSyI0

The key to succeed in Concrete Construction

Concrete is one of the toughest and most rewarding jobs on the planet, not everyone who starts out working concrete finishes strong.  What is the determining factor that separates those who make it from those who fail in our industry?

Being a second generation concrete tradesman, I'm of the opinion that the number one indicator of your  success is beyond your personal talent, drive, ambition, skill, or opportunity.  Success comes down to having a supportive spouse, one that understands the nature of our industry, and can be understanding of its demands.  

I have worked concrete in several different states and I've been involved in several different areas of concrete, from footing crews, foundations crews, flatwork crews, both residential and commercial, I have worked in both union and non-union, I had the blessing of writing for Concrete Construction (My author page at Concrete Construction) for seven years while they were still operational, and these days we own our own concrete pumping business (Our pumping website).  In all the years and in all of the different experiences, for me personally and from what I've observed in others, having a spouse that is behind you, supports you, believes in you, and can work with you in whatever their capacity is, that is the key to succeeding in concrete. 

How do we develop a relationship with our spouse that leads towards their better understanding of what we do?  Communication is vital.  My wife and I talk about everything and the everyday stuff that happens on our jobs daily, and over the years she has gained invaluable insights into concrete.  She knows all the technical jargon as well as "how to" in most all areas of placing and finishing concrete.  She has helped me pump concrete multiple times as well as finish concrete over the years.  I can honestly say I couldn't do what I do without her and I wouldn't be where I am without her.

Also, to bring your spouse along with you, it is important to attend concrete centered events, together.  My wife and I have gone to the World of Concrete together a few times.  We have gone to other concrete seminars together, we enjoy growing and learning, together.  We have grown in our appreciation of our great industry together over the years.

Another way to partner with your spouse is to introduce your spouse to other contractors, other concrete folks, and this includes the sales-folks, dispatchers, and plant managers at the ready-mix plant.  When your spouse sees themselves on the same level relationship-wise as you are with other people in our industry, they have buy-in and they are as invested in the relationships as you are.  

Bounce ideas about concrete off of your spouse, bid jobs together, set prices together.  Include each other as much as possible.  The stronger your marriage is, the better headspace you occupy.  Think of all of the time lost when co-workers go through a divorce.  Think of how non-productive folks on the crew are when they are fighting with their spouse.  

No other earthly relationship you have will influence your work like that with your spouse (not to take away from your relationship spiritually with God).  Therefore, include your spouse and involve them as much as possible, and the more you grow together in our industry the more successful you'll be.  

The real problem with Tucker Carlson that no one talks about

 

The problem with Tucker Carlson, you say?  The problem with Tucker Carlson is obviously going to be different for many different people, yet there is one single problem nearly all people have with him be it friend or foe.  

If you are with Fox News the problem is, why won't he just go away? The problem with Tucker Carlson if you are in D.C. or the White House isn't is he right?  It's what if the people believe him?  But for the rest of us, what's the real problem?  And yes there is a problem.  

Some people will say the problem with Tucker Carlson is that he's just an entertainer and he takes no responsibility for what he has said, right or wrong.  He's not to be trusted, that's the consensus for many of Tucker's detractors.  But this isn't the real problem we have with Tucker.  There are plenty of talkingheads, politicians, and celebrities which people practically worship, yet we easily overlook their troublemaking, deceptions, their bending of truth, morals, or ethics, etc., so dependability or reliability isn't the real problem with Tucker Carlson.   If he was were merely a charlatan, you'd just ignore him like L. Ron Hubbard, but you can't because of the problem he poses to each of us.  

Nearly everyone has the same problem with Tucker, be it folks in politics, folks at Fox, folks at NPR or in the Cable News industry, and especially more than likely even his fans share.  The problem with Tucker Carlson in this day and age when we all have been bullied into submission, keeping our opinions to ourselves, the problem is, Tucker says what he thinks.  It should be refreshing, but it's not, it's infuriating to many of us.    

You think UFOS are real, there are some conspiracy theories that are in the realm of the possible, you don't like the LBGQ's militant agenda, you distrusted motivations of the people heading BLM, you question the last election, you don't think drag queens should read stories to kindergarteners, the list goes on, and even though you are in the majority, you are silenced by the fear of being censored or by offending someone.  Not Tucker.  Facebook jail will never deter him, nor will losing his job.  

Is he merely a provocateur?  Does he really believe the things he says?   Those questions don't matter, what troubles us is that he will say what he thinks, or for the benefit of those who doubt his sincerity, he says what he wants to say and he does it better than anyone else.  That's a problem, whether you believe him or not, he says whatever he wants to say and that makes everyone uncomfortable, it causes people to be resentful and bitter, because most everyone wishes they had the courage to say what was on their mind.

No one will have to forcefully take away our First Amendment rights if we allow peer pressure to rule over us and we keep our opinions to ourselves just so we can fit in or be accepted, or make complete strangers happy.  We all feel threatened by Tucker Carlson or challenged by him but for very different reasons.  Make no mistake about, there's a problem with Tucker Carlson, and that problem is that he reminds us of what dialogue and debate used to stand for, and how we all wish we could just "say it like it is."