What can we do about the stress of social media

 

I despise the excuse, “it’s a necessary evil,” yet I feel stuck.  While certain believers piously boast about taking a break from social media during Lent, personally, I would like to give it up for good.  Why?

There’s an overabundance of drama and arguing taking place on social media that’s sapping our joy.  Good Lord above have mercy, just imagine all of the nonsense flooding social media this November with our upcoming Presidential election.

Plus, people bravely bully each other on social media, saying things to each other they would never say face to face.  Apparently, our judgmental side creeps out like kudzu whenever we hide behind the protective shield of our well-lit screen.  

 Also, for some reason social media is a breeding ground for negativity, fear-mongering, and conspiracy theories — any individual post has the power to unite, divide, and alienate simultaneously.   With each new controversy spawned by our culture, suddenly, everyone with a keyboard is an expert pontificating on every topic.  

And then daily, if we’re honest, social media siphons off too many hours.  Can you think of anything that steals our time so successfully?  

Last but certainly not least, social media competes for our attention with others too.  We hardly see anyone talking with each other anymore (or reading a printed page either), because they all have their noses glued to their phones.    

I have taken steps to reduce my frustration with social media, like unfriending unfriendly people and leaving groups/pages that only end up irritating me.  The line between dependence and addiction is blurry, I know -- I’m trying to maintain more balance, but it isn’t always easy with social media. If you have recommendations on how you tame this chaos, I’m all ears.  

Here’s the rub, in my desperation to remain relevant and accessible I feel like I can’t afford to break free.  My wife and I run a small business and our exposure on social media helps customers find us.  And, the church where I preach, we livestream our sermons weekly and we usually have more people watching through social media than we have in actual attendance.  

Social media isn’t evil per se, but it seems like our reliance upon it is a necessary evil.  As I wrestled with all of this I asked myself, is there a passage of Scripture that might offer a filter, perhaps some guidance on how to navigate or manage this conundrum?  Here’s what came to mind, I hope you find these words of Jesus helpful too, “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” (Matt 10:16)

We celebrate Easter this weekend and the promise of transformation through the Resurrection.  Does your time on social media reflect a Spirit-filled redeemed life or does it represent something less?  Thankfully, the choice belongs to each of us on what we allow to influence our hearts, may we allow God on this Good Friday to lead us to choose more wisely.  

Originally published in the Times News:

https://www.timesnews.net/living/faith/craig-cottongim-does-your-time-on-social-media-reflect-a-spirit-filled-redeemed-life/article_daf15cec-ec71-11ee-9591-0bcef3f8eba0.html

Being An Army of Ordinaries: why you should see the movie One Life

 

Streaming services have spoiled me.  We still like to watch movies, but usually from the comfort of our home.  I like having the control over the pause button when I need a bathroom-break and free popcorn.  Today we went to a real theater, it's only the second time in about four years to watch a movie in a theater for us, and I am glad we went.  

I shouldn't be surprised but the theater was only about 20%  full, I think we as a culture have gotten out of the habit of going to the theater.  That is neither here nor there, I'm glad we went today because it would be a shame to wait to see One Life.  

I'm glad Tammy discovered the release of a true life story turned into a movie "One Life," starring none other than Anthony Hopkins.  I typically do not cry while watching a movie, but here I did.  The WWII story of Nicky Winton rescuing over 600 Czech children from the Nazi Holocaust was well done, it was memorable, and it should cause anyone watching it to enter into some serious self-reflection.  

In a race against time, paper-pusher stock market office man Winton agonizes over how to move as many children to safety as possible.  This is not an action movie, Hopkins is often nerdy and feeble, and it's not driven by dialogue either.  Hopkins shuffles around from room to room, a prisoner of his memories and frustrated with the inability to have rescued more children than he did.  Hardly the stuff of The Oscars.  

You won't be dazzled by the movie-sets, the soundtrack, or the dialogue.  The character of the character is the point, the compassionate crusader who won't give up is the driving force of the story.  He fights bureaucracy , he raises money, he hounds people, he helps find foster homes, and his devotion to make a difference because he can, is moving.  He is compelled to do the right thing, how refreshing...

Hopkins was the protagonist of the movie, but the real heroes were the folks behind the scenes.  The brave risktakers, the men and women secretly organizing the efforts in Prague to get the children to England as the Nazi war machine gained momentum, and of course the ones who opened their homes and took in the children, these were the real heroes.

    

The movie is a stark reminder of how callous and how indifferent we can be to the suffering of the faceless crowds.  We are slow to alleviate the suffering of helpless people or to combat the forces of evil.  It is not a feel good movie, it is not an inspirational or motivational movie per se, there is no hype or hard-sell, it a soft-sell, undersold, lowkey pitch: You can and you should help, that is the message, or the moral of the story as the old saying goes.

There has been enough time & ample distance from the Holocaust that unfortunately we are either numb to it or we have forgotten about the brutality, the hostility, the horror of unspeakable crimes against humanity that took place in the camps  It is fitting that a movie like this, without polarizing us or politicizing anything, keeps the terrible memory alive and in so doing prompts us to assess our own character.  

This is not a negative complaint or a critique of the movie, instead what I'm about to say is more a reflection on us.  The storyline of One Life (rightful so) just sort of plods along, offers lackluster dialogue, and is slow-paced.  I'm glad it was the way it was.  Why?  Riveting plots get in the way, they cloud powerful messages, and this movie packed a powerful message that is timeless and relevant. 

Yes it had great acting from Hopkins, yes there were great lines, but the whole production was window-dressing.  The real value was the underlying message of the movie, not the movie itself.  The movie was just the container, the story of Winton was the worthwhile content.  

The movie doesn't attack Nazi Germany as one would expect, it attacks our comfort zone.  If the cast or the script stole the spotlight, the movie wouldn't be worth my time to blog about it.  To be clear, I am highly recommending the movie, please go see it as soon as possible, just know this, this movie is more than likely considered boring by Hollywood standards, there's nothing scandalous in it except our apathy and inactivity.  

The movie confronts us on an ethical level, in a healthy and calm manor, it doesn't judge the audience it only asks that you as the audience judge your own self.  One Life opens our mind to the fact that ordinary people can do the extraordinary when we listen to our conscience instead of culture.   

They can’t give you what they don’t have

 Quit crawling to an empty well to satisfy what your soul thirsts for, since certain people simply lack the ability to express what you long to hear, continually seeking from them what they are incapable of giving you is like drinking saltwater.  Anyone can offer an eloquent eulogy after it’s too late, but only truly confident people know how to compliment you and express their appreciation in the here & now.   

Perhaps they are resentful or envious of you, regardless, hoarding their affirmation probably gives them a sense of power and control over you.  It’s simple to say “I’m proud of you” or “thank you for all that you do” or “wow, you are really good at what you do.” But they can’t relinquish their hold on your validation, because withholding it gives these weak people the feeling they crave most, dominance.  

Rejoicing with you when you “win” in life seems impossible for them.  If they were to uplift you, they feel like losers because in their emotional economy the transaction goes something like this: Encouragement gives you more quality leaving less for me, while discouragement takes value away from you leaving me with more.  

Actually you do give something of yourself when you elevate others, an insight into the quality of your character.  And, while discouraging you takes joy away from you, subjugators give you an insight into their heart -- their discouragement is not a true reflection of you but it is an accurate account of their wounded-brokenness.  

What is a more mature path to pursue than seeking their affirmation?  Shake off their dark cloud of disappointment and move on with your life.  While we do not earn God’s love, He already loves us, hopefully knowing He loves us will motivate us to live in a way that pleases God, so our goal should be to seek God’s approval.  

For a healthier perspective about proper ambitions, forget about those emotional bullies and consider these passages: 

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”  (Gal 1:10)

“But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.” (I Thess 2:4)

Don’t despair when dishonorable people neglect to compliment you or express their gratitude.  Reinforcing their rejection, these pathetic people will never be happy for you, they won’t celebrate your victories, and at best they will rob you of whatever joy they can.  People who lack empathy are incapable of edifying others, so don’t dwell on their discouragement or you’ll be miserable just like they are.  

Of course this exact principle regarding encouragement applies to us all.  It’s a good idea then to ask yourself, when was the last time you praised anyone around you, honestly, how frequently do you freely cheer others on?