Unapologetic attempt to address the attitude that ails us

I think a better title would've been "Embrace people with differing points of view" but I still see the value in my editor's choice of wording.  It's hard to get people to open up to our ideas when we closed to their ideas and closed to them.  Before I share the text of the column, below, I think many people feel subjugated and experience too much suppression when it comes to talking, which is an unsuccessful way for us as a society to bridge our differences, and if we continue to alienate ourselves from those we disagree with our results will remain unsatisfactory if we ever want to grow and mature.  Enough of the rant, here is today's religion column original published in the Kingsport Times News:  

Our contemporary quandary about discussing anything remotely controversial without difficulty isn’t healthy, but it obviously isn’t new either.   As Einstein observed, “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.”

Consider how C.S. Lewis saw this dilemma, “When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind.”  Contemplate George Orwell’s similar insight, “In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act.”  Perhaps Thomas Paine put it best, “He who dares not offend cannot be honest.”

Circumstances may have changed since those great thinkers were around, but sadly today Trump, Fauci, Covid vaccines & Big Pharma, transgenderism, wars in Israel and Ukraine, money, the climate & energy, and a host of other interesting & worthwhile topics are suddenly off limits because they seemingly separate us from those we care about.  Without even being forcefully censored, many of us feel coerced to remain silent for fear of rejection or retaliation.  

I’ve been in echochamber churches before and I’ve experienced shallow friendships where it’s okay to take your ball and go home when things don’t go your way.  Their unwritten creed dictated complete agreement of every doctrine, theological stance, opinion, and divergent views were intolerable, yet I’ve come to appreciate the fact that spiritually mature people go beyond simply tolerating opposing views, they invite people not to acquiesce but to think for themselves and to actually express their views openly.  How else can we grow?

Where am I coming up with these radical ideas?  This extremist position on exchanging ideas with the goal of overall personal improvement comes from Scripture:

Prov 12:15, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,

    but a wise man listens to advice.”

Prov 18:2, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,

    but only in expressing his opinion.”

Prov 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend;

    profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Prov 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron,

    and one man sharpens another.”

Somehow we have corrupted the quality of our relationships by characterizing anyone who contradicts us as combative.  Hogwash.  True friends are vital because they care enough to disagree -- confident people refuse to allow their differences to dissolve their bonds of community.  

Shutting down and devaluing differing points of view lacks integrity, lowers the standard of authentic friendships, corrodes community, and it weakens us intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.  Biblical relationships value debate and dialogue -- just because someone disagrees with you it doesn't mean they have attacked or victimized you nor are they inherently evil.  We gain little by prohibiting differences of opinions and surrounding ourselves with people who only reinforce every opinion we have.  

Courageous relationships are risky -- sharing your thoughts requires vulnerability but mature people know how to disagree with others without feeling the need to demonize them.  It is okay to disagree with or dislike the content of what someone says but it is immature to dislike & distance yourself from them just for what they think. 

The powerful gift of the pencil

Not all pencils are created equal, and now I'm pickier than ever when it comes to my pencil of choice.  Why?  Our youngest son has forever ruined me when it comes to pencils.  

Whenever I write, it helps my creativity and thought process when I first write by hand and then type on my laptop.  I typically hand write my first drafts with paper and pencil.  I've always been a Ticonderoga pencil fan, and as bougie/bougee as it sounds, there's something to be said for the texture and the feel of writing in pencil on Moleskine paper.  I know it sounds geeky, nerdy, weird, but trust me it is true.

Since Klay already knew of my writing preferences and methods, he gifted me with a nice 2025 Moleskine planner and a set of Blackwing pencils.

Blackwing pencils collaborated with Moleskine, and it is pure tactile delight merging the two to write.  After a week or so of writing with the Blackwings, Tammy found they had their own line of pencil sharpeners and she surprised me with one.  I didn't even know about Blackwing a month ago, and now I have their complete set.  

Knowing your family/loved ones well enough to know what gifts to give them is a blessing in itself, like a recent gift our oldest gave us of a birdfeeder with a camera in it -- in our old age Tammy and I love to sit and watch the wild birds eat...  It might be a gift of your favorite beverage, or a gift card to your go-to restaurant, or a simple tee shirt or even a useful tool.  The value in the gift is the joy it brings and significance it holds for the receiver, not the price tag.

Yes, this all sounds a dorky as it can be enjoying pencils and paper and such, but it is the "little things in life" that sometimes make the best gifts.  Tammy is a gift-giver, it is her love language and she has passed this on to our four sons, because of her influence our boys are kind, generous, and thoughtful.  

Do I really have to “go to church…?”

Maybe instead of getting stumped trying to answer the old question, “Do I really have to go to church to be saved, to go to heaven, to be a Christian, etc...?” maybe it’s time congregations ask ourselves what is it about our reputation that turns people away or leads them to believe churches are phony? Sadly, many people skip gathering with a church even though they are curious about matters of faith.    

In other words, perhaps churches need to think about why many people are interested in “the Man upstairs,” these same people who say “Give me Jesus, keep the church...” and as a church we need to think about why are they looking for a hall pass, a loophole, a permission slip, an absence excuse?  What is the source of their contempt or disinterest in Sunday morning worship services?  

Most believers subscribe to the idea that to be considered faithful, church attendance is a responsibility, a duty, an obligation.  None of those categories sound fun, interesting, or exciting.  So maybe, the first reason people evade and avoid the church building is because they assume it will be boring -- once in a while even a broken clock is right, so they might have a point here.     

Another idea is the fact that there are congregations who are more than critical and less than welcoming.  If you don’t fit their mold, you remain on the outside looking in.  These same congregations appear to be on the judgmental side.  

Then there are people who believe worship services are out of touch with the real world and that we are geared towards promoting blind faith, being anti-intellectual, anti-science, and we are more or less a gathering of flat-earthers -- not necessarily mouth-breathers, just irrelevant and uneducated.   After all, didn’t the church blind Galileo?

Then, there’s the opinion that the church is only interested in your money.  The hypocrisy of it all.  

Perhaps these are our consequences when instead of becoming fishers of men, we became keepers of the aquarium.  Maybe those resistors have a point. 

Has the church lost sight of the value of differing viewpoints, backgrounds, and ethnicities?  Paul was clear, the church is one body that is made up of various members who are attached by the Spirit, not by their similarities: “12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.” (I Cor 12:12-13)

Has the church misunderstood the purpose of gathering together?  Some misuse Hebrews 10 to make the case for gathering on Sunday mornings, but the passage has nothing to do with any day of the week or for that matter a building: “24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”  The Greek word for “meet together” isn’t “ecclesia” for church assemblies, it is “episunagoge” which is deeper and more significant than sitting in a pew, it is about an inspirational community-based integrated lifestyle that goes far beyond a Sunday morning worship service. 

So yes, the next time someone asks if they “have to” go to church, yes let’s remember that we are the church and the church isn’t a building, it is the people, people who gather in the name of Jesus to break bread, share scripture, pray together, and nurture and encourage each other.  And, instead of being annoyed or irritated by this age-old question of the necessity of church attendance, be inspired to help restore their trust in the church through authentic friendships, genuine care, and Christian love -- instead of just inviting people to a church building or event, let’s actually be the church.  

Originally published on 1/3/25 in the Kingsport Timesnews click here to see