Thursday, July 18, 2013
Clingy, like a vine...
Some people are as indiscriminate as a wild vine --they will wrap arms like tentacles around any emotional scaffolding that crosses their path. Humanly it's natural to connect, but maturity calls for discrimination regarding where & how we bond.
Oddly enough, it seems like kind and beautiful women stay anchored to abusive men. Sincere seekers are duped by wolves in sheep's clothing. Gangs thrive by filling some type of vacuum in the lives of young men who have an absence of mentors. Imbalanced people choke the life out of the caregivers who never learned to set boundaries, because some nurturers need to be needed a bit much.
We should find some of our stability from relationships -- but not all of our strength should be harnessed to others. God created us for community to find encouragement and support --but our ultimate trust and completion comes through Him.
So, how do we maintain the right touch of closeness without seeming to be co-dependent or unhealthy?
To start with, surround yourself with people who are spiritually healthy.
"Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” (1 Corinthians 15:33 ESV)
We will become like the people we are spending time with.
Open your eyes more than your ears. Actions rarely lie.
You'll know people by their behavior, not necessarily by their rhetoric.
Secondly, be someone worth imitating.
Savvy people I know, who seem to have it going on, they are attractive -- no not physically, more like magnetically. There are people we are drawn to, and at the end of the day we say to ourselves, "I admire certain traits in them I wish I was mastering."
Thirdly, don't project the attitude of a victim.
Victims attract predators, and, healthy people avoid whiners like the plague.
Farmers do not plant their crops in a marsh, swamp or desert. They are selective on what soil they invest their time in. They also get rid of the weeds, and vines..., that would choke the life out the harvest. Be like the wise farmer when it comes to cultivating the soil of your heart.