Recipe for real relationships

 

Tammy and I have been married for nearly four decades, and I believe one of the reasons our marriage is so strong is because we actually enjoy being together.  As elementary as that sounds, enjoying time with your spouse is essential for a strong, healthy, and vibrant relationship -- unfortunately too many couples miss this basic fact.   

Sadly, many couples seem distant and dissatisfied in their marriages.  One of the first questions that comes to my mind when I hear that a couple is struggling or they seem like strangers living separate lives together is how often do they cook together?  There is a powerful pleasurable transformation that relationships benefit from whenever you cook together.  

Yes we enjoy traveling together, going to a show or a host of other "fun and exciting" things couples do, but we also derive a lot of enjoyment in the mundane chores of life.  Like cooking together.  We really like to cook together; I can't recommend this enough to you.  

We like to eat at home since it's healthier and more economical, though we don't mind going out too, but going out to eat oftentimes seems disappointing when we compare the meal out to our own excellent cooking.  I think couples do need to go out on date nights, but there's more bonding that takes place in your own kitchen in my opinion; you learn more about each other and fall deeper in love over the oven than in a restaurant booth, I think.  

You share an equality as you learn together a new recipe and as you choose the menu.  As you share the workload of the prep and actual cooking, you feel closer and again experience an equality.  Cooking together provides an excellent opportunity for drawing closer to each other through more authentic one on one time.  

Tammy and I laugh together, relax, share our day, tell stories, grow closer together and communicate a lot while we are in the kitchen.  I am convinced that cooking together deepens, builds, and reenforces the foundation of your marriage.  And, together you experience the unique sense of satisfaction which accompanies the sense of accomplishment together of a well planed and well prepared tasty meal, together.   

My folks fought all the time and they were always miserable, I can't remember my parents ever cooking together.  I hope the opposite for my children and grandchildren, I hope they can't remember a time when Tammy I weren't cooking together and that they will remember us a happy couple.

If you want other parts of your relationship to sizzle instead of fizzle, I don't know all of the reasons why cooking together strengthens your relationships, but it really is a recipe for better relationships.  As you contemplate cooking together more often, I'll leave you with this, here's a recent meal we cooked together. 

Blowout to burgers: merging several loves

Early one morning on the way to pump concrete I had a blowout on the pump, the durable trailer tire is rated for 10,000 pounds and when I pulled over to look, the remaining tire looked like a shredded sunflower hanging on the rim.

More challenges immediately followed.  I had to drop the pump and run home to grab the spare, when I got back, I tried to start the pump so I could lower its outriggers to raise up the rear to change the flat.  My battery was dead on the pump.  I pulled the truck around to the pump to jump start the pump, either my cables were bad or the truck battery wasn't strong enough to start the pump.

I called the contractor I was pumping for, explained through my embarrassment the situation and asked if his crew could try with their work truck to jump the pump.  They drove from the jobsite to me quickly.  

A momentary victory was short-lived.  We succeeded in jumping our pump with their truck, changed the flat, but then on the way to their job the pump died again.  I apologized once more, pushed back concrete at the plant once again, and ran to the parts-store for a new battery, which was out of stock.  

I went to the next parts-store, who had our battery, and when it came time to remove the old battery, we couldn't budge it.  I called our salesman who talked me through it, it required loosing the cold air return lines, which I didn't tighten the rubber boots back properly after we reinstalled the battery and each time the pump switched strokes the return lines on the diesel motor whistled loudly.  I texted the mechanic at the pump factory in California and asked him about the whistling, he texted "That is bad, you have to fix that immediately!"  I wiggled the rubber boot that goes on the metal pipe of the cold air return and readjusted the clamps and solved that dilemma.  

Of course at this point, it had to rain  We were pumping three sets of footers on the same street on adjoining lots.  When I say rain, I don't mean sprinkle.  It was a deluge.

  In my haste to get loaded up and strap down the hoses, I forgot to pick up the wooden blocks I set under the outriggers, these blocks we have had on the truck since our second job, I know it sounds silly to be attached to theses scrap 4x4 blocks, but they held a special memory too, I salvaged those blocks the day we pumped the wrong mix and it took two hours to prime out and another 7 hours to beat out the plugged up hoses.  Lessons were learned that day!

I decided quickly that I would not waste the challenging experience of the day I had a major blowout.  You've heard the old saying, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."  When a concrete pumper has a major blowout that ruins the rim, instead of lemons to lemonade, I say "Blowouts to burgers!"  

This project is meaningful to me because it brings several of my loves together, woven like a quilt, first, the spare parts for making this grill are from the pump, namely the bent rim but the post for this grill is an old reducer.  For those who don't pump, the reducer attaches to the outlet on the pump where the concrete initially is discharged from the pump.    Concrete is what I set the grill in, in the backyard.

So far pumping and concrete, two of my great loves have been involved in creating a grill, and of course grilling is one of my loves, and then another love of mine is welding.  I took four years of welding in high school and had ambitions of welding as a career in my teens.

I can’t think of anything more rewarding than to recreate creatively taking ruin, salvaging the chaos and then utilize and cause something useful and productive from a discouraging situation.  I love this homemade grill that transformed an experience of being stranded to solving the solution of when we are starving!

A new addition to the homemade grill, a concrete table: