Finding Freedom's fulfilment

These days, we visit our doctors to avoid illnesses.  In other words, we see our doctors to stay healthy, not just to get healthy.  But not so when I was a child.  Usually at home, a pack of Bandaids, a dab of mercurochrome, a couple of aspirin, or a heating pad did the trick.  Doctors were only to be seen when you were “really” sick -- when mom was left stymied by an unsuccessful home remedy.  

Back in the day, Preventive medicine resembled, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Health & wellness visits were not part of our vocabulary.  I can’t recall a single instance of either of my parents seeing our family doctor.  My only memories of our doctor are of her setting a few broken bones for me, and over the years administering vaccinations from her single glass syringe -- reusing needles that were stored in a glass jar of antiseptic... And yes, we drank out of the garden hose and survived that too.  

With it being the 4th, Freedom is on all of our minds today.  A nation’s scale of freedom is relative, but I feel we are blessed as the freest of the free.  How long will we enjoy our unique freedom and how far will America’s freedom reach?  There’s no telling.  Is there a freedom that isn’t bound by borders, that can’t be defended by military might, a freedom that truly liberates, and overshadows the American ideal of freedom?  Yes, and it’s found only in Jesus.  

My eyes get misty and I get choked up singing our National Anthem.  Often, if I’m at an event where the Pledge is recited I let out an “amen” at the conclusion.  I love our country. I also recognize the only residents who will enjoy ultimate freedom, are the ones Paul wrote of in Phil 3:20-21, “But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.”

So, why don’t we experience more of the freedom Jesus promised?  In JN 8:36 Jesus said, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”  Why do so many Christians find themselves entangled in infidelity or ensnared by habitual deception?  Why do some practice manipulation or feed their own narcissism?   Maybe, too many believers treat their relationship with Jesus the same way we treated medical professionals when I was a child.  In other words, there’s no freedom from sin if I only go to Jesus when I finally feel the symptoms of sin.  

Certainly we need to go to God when we stumble, especially if we’ve neglected our relationship with God for way too long.  Sin & shame will crush our spirits to the point we suffer psychosomatic symptoms.  Ps 31:10, “For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my iniquity, and my bones waste away.”  My point isn’t to avoid God when we feel remorse because we’ve slacked off in our walk with Jesus; my point is if we long for freedom, then we need more of God in our lives consistently to experience His freedom fully.

Sin is the sickness of the soul that leads to death, and Jesus has the cure, but for a more fulfilling sense of freedom in Christ, we need to seek Him out daily.  We need to be fed spiritually daily if we want to have the most freedom Jesus offers.  We don’t water our gardens once in the spring and then expect a thriving harvest in the fall.  Neither can we sip on the Living Water occasionally and expect to escape the wicked bondage of sin.  

If we only crack open our Bibles Sundays at 10:00 a.m., or pray only in troubled times, spiritually we are as malnutritioned as ancient mariners suffering from scurvy.  Freedom to live out what God created us for happens when we are near the Lord, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” (II Cor 3:17)  Prayer, Scripture, sharing communion with fellow believers, and a life of faith draws us closer to the sources of spiritual freedom.  The good news is, Jesus wants to liberate us; He invites us to find rest in His presence, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matt 11:28)

So tonight, as fireworks light the night’s sky, while we shout “God bless America!” holding our hands over our hearts, filled with gratitude because brave young men and women in uniform are defending our country’s freedom with their lives, may we remember to celebrate our eternal freedom everyday of the year.  

How to have a lifelong, spicy, fulfilling sex life

A few years ago I saw a movie where two grandparents were at the dinner table talking with a confused grandchild.  Their grandchild shocked them by saying it's impossible and unreasonable to think that you could have sex with the same person all your life, to just have one lover, to just be happy with only person all your life.

As I think about that movie scene, I want to scream "That is bunk!"  It's not only possible to be monogamous for life, it's what brings the most satisfaction!

I'm blessed.  No doubt about it, I'm a lucky guy.  My wife Tammy and I have been married for over 26 years now, and for some reason, I'm drawn to her more now than ever.  It's hard to explain, and I'll try to unpack this, but I find Tammy more attractive and more desirable sexually as the years go by.  It's as if I'm seeing her for the first time as the years pass.  She keeps getting more beautiful and more desirable to me, and I think it's because of the keys I'll share here.

And, in case you are nervous, I'll keep this post G rated.

You would think getting married as teenagers, that our sexual peak would've come and gone by now.  Or, you might think that as the years transform our appearance, with my young bride now in her mid-40's she would no longer "do it" for me, and I would not find her as attractive as when we met.  You'd be dead wrong to think so.  She is drop dead gorgeous to me.

I find myself continually daydreaming about Tammy, and when we are together I can't keep my eyes off of her.  She is hotter than ever in my eyes.  I can't keep my hands off her if we walk past each other in the kitchen.  If I leave the living room, I want to go past her and kiss her, or squeeze her...  I simply can't get enough of her.

Before I go much further, let me clarify an important point.  You might wonder, does this mean we never have arguments or get angry with each other?  Are we in some Utopian parallel universe?  No, we live in the real world, and we have arguments.  We disagree like every other couple.  We frustrate each other from time to time too.

So, what's the key to finding a fulfilling sex life?

How do you continually fall in love with the same person over a lifetime?  Certainly relationship studies show that infatuation fades over time, usually within the 1st 2 years of a relationship.  You might think by now that I'm crazy; after all, most marriages end in divorce and many marriages suffer frustration.  Being satisfied and fulfilled by your spouse is a series of choices you make.

For starters, don't complain about your spouse to your friends.  I have never complained about Tammy to any of my friends.  Again, we do have normal and healthy arguments.  We are not always happy with each other every second of the day.  But I do not critique and talk trash about Tammy when I'm upset.  Don't dwell on the negative, or soon that's all you'll see.  Once you start talking negatively about your spouse to others, you begin to reinforce within your psyche your spouse is inferior, and you deserve better...  Deal with your conflicts, handle your problems, and work things out with your spouse without smearing their reputation amongst your friends.

It's not hard to find your spouse irresistible, when you think about it, it's fairly simple.  Job said, “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?" (Job 31:1)  This means you purposely don't stare at the opposite sex.  If you allow yourself to lust over someone other than your spouse, you sabotage your own satisfaction in your bedroom.  Don't look at porn.  Men, don't pick up the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated.  Once you go down the path of looking at someone other than your spouse to arouse yourself, you forfeit the satisfaction the God intended for you by blessing you with your spouse.  

This isn't a post on porn, but I will say if you are into porn, you only hurt yourself and hurt the chances of being satisfied with your spouse.  Take this to heart too, "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love." (Proverbs 5:18-19 ESV) I like that, be "drunk" with your wife's body.

Another key ingredient to having a great sex life is having a mutual desire to please each other, in and out of the bedroom.  If you can't be courteous and do nice things, or offer compliments to your spouse throughout the day, you shouldn't be surprised if your sex life is mediocre.  I try everyday to tell Tammy she looks good or tell her how what she is wearing looks good, and I try everyday to thank her for even the small things.  We also share life's responsibilities together.  If I grill dinner, and she prepares the sides, I try to thank her.  This spills over into the bedroom too.  We actually like to please each other, neither of us are "selfish lovers" as the saying goes.  If you want a great sex life, it starts with wanting to please your spouse, over fulfilling your own needs.

Once you aim for pleasing your spouse, like magic, you find deeper satisfaction than ever.  And, you need to be behind closed doors as often as possible with your spouse.  Consider what Paul wrote, "Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.  For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.  Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:1-5 ESV)

Another important key to a great sex life is having fun, yes in and out of the bedroom.  Laugh together.  Tammy and I laugh together so hard at times we cry.  When I say have fun in the bedroom, I'm not simply talking about the mechanics of the act itself, I mean actually learn to laugh when something comical happens.

And realize sex is a gift.  It is meant to be enjoyed.  I couldn't narrow down the Song of Solomon to just one quote here, though I'll share a quote in the end. God has a plan for marriage, and if you've ever read the Song of Solomon, you know that a steamy bedroom is part of the magic... There are so many verses in the Song of Solomon illuminating the pleasures of sex, I will just recommend you read it in its entirety to gain a better understanding that sex is meant to be enjoyed.

A great sex life requires a lot of communication.  It requires a little coaching too.  You'd be amazed the doors you can open when you mutually express what you enjoy.  Don't be shy with your spouse, you are married after all :-)  I'd add to this too, text messages throughout the day about how you miss each other and how you are looking forward to reconnecting that night can really fan the flames!

A great sex life is built on a balance of spending time together and time apart.  Growing up, our next door neighbors were postal workers.  They had the same shift at the post office.  They were together all day, every day.  They divorced after about 10 years because they got sick of each other.  We need to be together with our spouses as often as possible, but we also need time apart.  Too much time apart opens you up for temptations (look back up at the I Cor 7 passage), but the proper amount of time apart builds anticipation and you can't wait to be back in each other's arms.  When I miss Tammy, because one of us are out of town, I go crazy thinking about her.

A spicy sex life really begins when we follow God's plan, and that might sound strange to some reading this.  God gave us the gift of sex to be enjoyed.  It bonds us to our spouses, and brings unlimited pleasures to life.  Pursue your spouse with a deep passion, and crowd out of your mind any thoughts that don't have anything to do with your spouse's satisfaction.  We are living proof that two people can be together (going on three decades now) and stay madly in love, in and out of the bedroom.  I want to encourage you, if your marriage is stagnant or stale, or you've slipped up, God is a God of 2nd chances.  Maybe try reading the Song Of Solomon to your spouse, pray for God's blessings, and purposely reignite that spark that first set your heart on fire.

“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD.   Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.”  (Song of Solomon 8:6-7 ESV)

A word to the wise...

In the movie "Sands of Iwo Jima" John Wayne's character Sgt Stryker said, "Life is tough, but it's tougher if you're stupid."  This illustrates the benefits of being smarter, because supposedly the smarter we are the less often we make poor choices.  I don't know anyone that wants to make life harder, do you?  We all want life to be easier, that's not to say we are lazy, it's to say we want to avoid needless problems.  Being wiser, therefore, simply makes sense.

In our information overloaded, data saturated culture, we face one of the greatest challenges in history.  We have the illusion of intelligence because of all the easily accessible and available knowledge.  We think we are educated and smarter because we can google any question.  I love the Internet and search engines, but more information isn't enough when it comes to acting on what we know.  In other words, information is necessary but information alone is insufficient to living life well.   

"How" I use the information I have to make better choices is where wisdom comes into play.  You knew right from wrong from an early age, but that knowledge doesn't always help prevent us from making terrible choices.  

I'm starting a new sermon series titled "Ears to Hear" this coming Sunday.  This new series is on wisdom, where to find it, what wisdom is, how to apply it, and benefiting from wisdom.  If you are interested in gaining Biblical wisdom and would like to grow with us, plan to visit us Sunday at 10:00 a.m.

click here to see where & when we meet

Who made made the waves in the Big Bang?

There's a lot of talk this week about the exciting discovery of the initial waves of gravity as the Big Bang expanded, verifying what's known as inflation.  It appears that the universe expanded faster than the speed of the light in the first split-second of the existence of the universe, and then began to expand at a steady rate for quite a while.

Click here to read about the new discovery, which is probably going to earn a Nobel prize

This is important, not least of all, because it shows the universe didn't always exist.  So why would it start, that's a question that involves a choice making entity. An intelligent being exercising willpower.

The amazing part about the whole discussion is not how divided we are on the questions of the Big Bang between believers and nonbelievers, but that people will study the universe looking for a "cause & effect" that can be measured, tested and analyzed, but not think that there was an ultimate cause.

Science isn't the enemy of faith, and in fact discoveries like we read about this week need to be celebrated.  I see nothing whatsoever in Big Bang cosmology that comes close to contradicting Genesis 1:1.  Science can help us understand "what" we see, but the job of science isn't to give a "why."  The big question remains, since we see these ancient waves of gravity from the early moments of the Big Bang, like ripples in a pond, who made the big "splash" in the pond?

The longest hour is the last one: Has Putin triggered Armageddon?

"And they assembled them at the place that in Hebrew is called Armageddon" (Revelation 16:16, ESV).

Has Vladimir Putin triggered Armageddon? Is Putin fulfilling the end times prophecies? Is he initiating some great battle that will annihilate mankind? Are we now on the brink of the end? Should we even expect to make it through the year 2014 without a catastrophic end?

Maybe, as you observe the recent events in the Ukraine, you've wondered if we have a glimpse of what's to come — wondering if the movement of Russian troops into Crimea is signaling the beginning of the end. Will Russia finally team up with China (as some have speculated, these two superpowers surely are in the book of Revelation) and fulfill the "Gog-Magog" alliance of Revelation 20:8? Will Russia and China surround Jerusalem and destroy the Holy City?

I doubt it.

We haven't had a decade of consistent world peace before or since Jesus walked the dusty roads of Galilee. I would guess during the Black Plague people began looking for the end of times, or the perhaps during any of the major revolutions in Europe during the last 1,500 years. Does anyone remember Y2K? Besides, Jesus Himself said, "And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet" (Matthew 24:6, ESV).

But what about all these social uprising, riots, overpopulation, problems in the Ukraine, Egypt, Syria, tension in the Middle East, threats from North Korea, Iran building their bomb, all the tsunamis, earthquakes and bad weather we are having?

"For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places; there will be famines. These are but the beginning of the birth pains" (Mark 13:8, ESV).

John, the beloved Apostle who was Jesus' closest friend wrote to the seven churches of Asia — convinced he was in the "tribulation," and the "Kingdom" of God was already in existence: "I, John, your brother and partner in the tribulation and the kingdom and the patient endurance that are in Jesus, was on the island called Patmos on account of the word of God and the testimony of Jesus" (Revelation 1:9, ESV). So, we don't have to await the beginning of the Kingdom, it's already here, and the tribulation has already happened — according to John.

No more tribulation? But what about Putin being the antichrist? Sorry. That's a term not even mentioned in the book of Revelation. But, the Apostle John did have a few things to say about the antichrist in his epistles. No. 1: The antichrist already came to earth. No. 2: There were multiple antichrists and the "end times" already began. And No. 3: The antichrist wasn't a world ruler. An antichrist is anyone who denies the Incarnation. For example: "Children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. Therefore we know that it is the last hour" (1 John 2:18, ESV).

"Who is the liar but he who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, he who denies the Father and the Son" (1 John 2:22, ESV).

"And every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already" (1 John 4:3, ESV).

But my preacher, father, teacher (you fill in the blank) said they know when the end of time will happen. Really? Jesus said, "But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only. For as were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of Man (Matthew 24:36-37, ESV).

Looking for the tribulation or a future Kingdom in each and every current event makes for great literature in the Christian Fiction Department, but it is terrible theology. These things have plainly already transpired. Plus, Jesus doesn't start an earthly Kingdom with a capital in Jerusalem anywhere in the Bible. Instead, at the end He relinquishes His already established Kingdom: "Then comes the end, when he delivers the kingdom to God the Father after destroying every rule and every authority and power" (1 Corinthians 15:24, ESV).

I believe Jesus is coming back and when He does, we will be with Him forever in heaven. I believe He could come before you drop this newspaper in your recycle bin or He might not return for another 10,000 years. It's true, the Eschaton is a fascinating topic, but to sensationalize it falls short of our calling to be faithful. There's a temptation to obsess about the "End" that leans towards escapism — it's easier to speculate about a spectacular end than it is to humbly/simply bear our crosses daily, today.

Click here for the Timesnews version

Why are we so restless?

Am I the only one, or does it seem like we are becoming a restless people?  Why are we so restless these
days?

Only a few generations back, our ancestors usually lived and died within 10 to 20 miles of their birth.  Today it's nothing to jump in the car and drive several hundred miles for an event with our favorite hobby or to visit family.  We do this without much thought.  We move a lot too, but that's old news and not really at the heart of the issue.

It's not just that we are unsettled, when we are settled, it seems we are fidgety, distracted even.  We are like school children gazing out the window the last week before summer break.  What's up?

I love Bear Grylls and other survival shows.  Admittedly, none of these are filmed in our backyard -- part of the allure is the exotic locations.  Within 10 miles of our home they are building one new Bass Pro shop and two Cabela's.  The outdoors await, easier to conquer than ever!

I think part of our problem which keeps us fidgety and easily distracted is our craving for adventure.  The adventurous spirit of exploration and testing our mettle dies hard.  Ah, maybe not.  Probably not.  Why go in search of a challenge when you haven't beat Angry Birds or Candy Crush yet?  I guess it's just easier to live vicariously through a favorite athlete or to settle for reruns.

Blinded by the slight:

(Kingsport Times news, 11/23/13)

I was starting the grill tonight (I use what's called a "chimney coal starter") and I almost burned this clipping (yes, I have old newspapers in a bin for this).  I'm not sure how I missed this little gem.  Preachers live for sermon illustrations like this clipping.  We open newspapers, scouring them for such pieces as this!  

Look again at the clipping.  When Kennedy was assassinated, the "big" news of the morning here in Kingsport was a new leader at Eastman.  Is a transition in leadership important?  Having been close friends for several years with the recently retired CEO of Eastman and living in this town whose economy is tied closely to Eastman's successes, I can tell you it is a big deal in this town.  But, it's not that big enough of a deal to overshadow the real news of the day.

This clip reminds we can let the insignificant overshadow what's really important when we lose our focus.  This newspaper clip illustrates how an inward-narrow focus can blind us to bigger things outside our immediate realm.  

Are you going through a painful separation of sorts, losing your job, grieving the loss of a loved one?  God has a way of using painful times to shape us -- it's not that He caused the pain, but He sure can use it to mould us (Think Joseph, Gen 50:15-21) 

I'm not saying your pain isn't real, or isn't valid, I am saying, typically there's more to the picture than meets the eye.  It's hard, nearly impossible, to see past the pain, but that's where faith & hope come in.

I Cor 13:12-13, "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

II Cor 4:16-18, "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."

II Cor 5:7, "for we walk by faith, not by sight."  

Pray for eyes to see eternal/consequential realities and for guidance to walk life's path when the lines get blurred.