The power of a broken plate:

It's weird, but when this plate broke, it hit me rather hard, leaving me with an unexpected emotional reaction.  You see, if you've eaten a meal at our table in the last 20-plus years, you were served food off of one of these plates.  I have to admit, when Tammy bought the set I wasn't happy. 

We were passing through Springfield Missouri on our way home from Oklahoma, returning from the Tulsa Soul Winning Workshop when Tammy went into a store I was unfamiliar with at the time, Tuesday Morning.  She came out with the complete set of dishes, including saucers, coffee cups, soup bowls, the whole kit & caboodle.  The last thing I wanted to do was load these up in our minivan. 

But, Tammy knew, if were were going to practice hospitality properly, we needed something presentable like these.  Over time, I grew to appreciate the set and I can admit, I'm truly glad Tammy picked the set up. 

When this plate broke, it reminded me instantly of the many friends and dozens of guests we had served meals to on these plates over the years.  The laughter, the tears, the comings & goings of life, all passed over these plates like a change of seasons.  We've bonded with people and shared life around a number of tables and in many rooms in several houses, meeting new friends and saying good bye to others, but all in the presence of these plates. 

It's amazing how something so simple as a broken plate has the power to remind one of the depth of fellowship and its role in our life.  I imagine over time, each of these plates will finally find their way to the garbage, but not before they leave their mark. 

When what we want, seems to elude us

I'm not sure why life refuses to promise us security or why it withholds any assurances of success.  The only guarantees in life seem to be, if you lick a frozen flagpole your tongue will stick, if you put your hand on a hot stove-top you'll get burned, and if all of your friends jump off a cliff, well you get the idea.

Relationships fall apart, factories close down, unanticipated sickness can strike -- all without notice.  Which seems to leave us with two choices.  Fight the stream or get swept away.

The reality is, hard work, doing the right thing, or simply having good intentions are insufficient for reaching all of your goals -- unscathed.  Having an inner ability to persist, to never give up, to have the grit to face defeat undeterred by our setbacks, this is rare and it still doesn't insure you will win.

Life is a struggle.  Charisma, self-confidence, or a great skill-set won't carry the day.

You have to ask yourself which is worse, not achieving your dreams or not even trying.  Most people cave under the pressure of everyday life, they won't even try in the face of the odds that are stacked against them.  Do you pity them, respect them, or want to be like them?

Maintaining hope requires an active but mature imagination, developing a strong will, and an ability to accept that failures and obstacles always pave the path leading to the finish line.  The voices of your childhood telling you you could be anything or do anything you want must be balanced against the cold truth that nothing comes easy in this life.

Beware of simple answers that promise to reduce the risks, beware of employing underhanded or manipulative tactics, beware of slogans and platitudes that diminish the facts.  Sure, you could just adjust your expectations, all it takes is a motivational poster on the wall...

Can you be happy irregardless of the circumstances or does your satisfaction depend on externals that will mainly remain outside of your control?  Become the person that doesn't resort to justifying any means to reach their end, and who can experience peace in every situation, do this and you will have accomplished more than reaching any temporary goal/dream that has persistently evaded you.

Don't give up the fight.  But don't give into it either.  In the end, when what you seek eludes you, the important perspective centers on "who" you are, not on "what" you achieved/acquired.  Attitude and character trump everything else. 

Schools shootings are really a symptom of

Headaches are a symptom of high blood pressure -- don’t ask me how I know. Taking an aspirin might help the headache, but it won’t address the hypertension that is killing you. School shootings are getting a lot of focus, but I submit these shootings are a symptom of an even darker problem.

Some people have rightly pointed out that “studies” don’t tie school shootings to the violent video games that have consumed our Nation’s young people. Common sense tells me otherwise. Still, even so, the video games and actions movies that glorify killing are only a symptom, they’re not the actual disease.

There are two lightning rod issues that have our nation divided: Abortion and gun control. Second Amendment advocates are unwilling to relinquish assault weapons. Why not? Because if you can ban one type of firearm, the rest will soon be taken away. It’s the same thinking with partial-birth abortions. I don’t know anyone in their right mind that thinks terminating a baby once it enters the birth canal is OKAY. Yet, if that “procedure” is outlawed, then it’s only a matter of time until all abortions are eliminated.

When I was growing up, “gun control” was resting the barrel of your rifle across a branch or on a log to steady your aim. And, all life was sacred; pregnant women “glowed” and all babies were considered precious.

In case you are wondering where I stand, I’m pro-life, and while I grew up with guns and think we should all have the right to bear arms, I can’t really see the need for civilians to have military assault weapons. But again, people on both sides of the divide are unwilling to budge, because they think these are “all or nothing” issues and they fear losing their stance.

My favorite rifle is a .30-30, and I’d like to one day own a “Judge” handgun, it’s a .45 that also holds 410 shotgun shells. The way I grew up, guns were for sport, hunting, and home-protection. Guns were never for resolving petty conflicts. We were taught from a young age to have respect for life indirectly and gun safety overtly.

Guns and abortions aren’t even half of the equation. People don’t even respect their own health these days. Cigarettes probably kill more people than anything else. Forks kill more people than guns do -- we are an obese nation that loves fatty and high-sugar-content foods. Our lifestyles are killing us.

Life isn’t valued, that is the disease! Many of these violent tragedies we are so worried about are simply the symptoms of a culture that disrespects life. This problem didn’t spring up overnight and it won’t be resolved in a day. There are no easy ways to address this malignancy that is devouring us.

Similar to suicide, mass shootings are a last resort to fixing a problem. Kids don’t kill their classmates because they feel like they other tools to address their problems, they see it as the only way. Why? We have a generation of people who don’t, A: know how to resolve their conflicts/problems, and B: They have devalued life.

Whenever we politicize any issue (think gun control and abortions) society loses its bearings. Please stop thinking and believing politicians have the ability to solve our social woes or that they can fix our moral dilemmas. Start teaching the toddlers in your life to work out their own problems and teach them about the sanctity of all human life, and then maybe in a generation we’ll see less death and violence. If not, then pray, Lord Come Quickly.

Discovering God in chicken's milk...

What’s more important than asking the age-old question, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” Asking, “Why can’t we milk a chicken?” is more valuable, if you ask me. I know, the scientific reason we can’t milk a chicken is due to the fact that biologically, chickens are birds, they aren’t mammals. Still, why can’t I have it all?

What started this line of questioning, for me? It occurred to me while I was eating my cheese-covered scrambled eggs: If only we could milk chickens, they would be the perfect breakfast-producing-animal ever. This in turn got me thinking about the point some atheists make when they try to refute the existence of God, that being, this creation we inhabit isn’t perfect. Because as they assert, if a perfect God created the world, why are there imperfections all over the place?

That’s a fair question. Why isn’t this world a utopia? Why can’t I fly like a bird and breathe underwater like a fish, and then drive my car when flying or swimming is inconvenient? Why do we have unmet expectations, and why aren’t all of our desires fulfilled? Why do we have so many limitations and problems?

We could respond, the Garden of Eden was perfect before mankind sinned. But then people could ask, why were the first people allowed to sin and mess it all up? How did that slippery serpent sneak into the garden anyway? Still, even in the Garden of Eden, we couldn’t milk our chickens..., so Eden wasn’t quite a utopia.

But, doesn’t the Bible say everything was perfect when God finished creation? Not really. Several times at the conclusion of each day of creation we read, “it was good,” and on the last day of creation we read, “it was very good.” Yet nowhere do we read it was a “sublime heavenly perfection.” It’s the material universe, and it is very good, but this realm leaves plenty of room for the perfect.

Recognizing imperfections requires a standard of what perfection could be. This follows the same line of reasoning that the existence of evil and suffering points us eventually to a loving God. I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but think through the implications. To say there is evil is to recognize there is good. Yet, a material universe can’t solely account for this understanding or provide a standard of good/evil. Therefore, when we are offended by evil, injustice, or wrongdoing, it’s because there is a universal sense of good. Just what is the source of that good? It must be a supernatural source providing our standard.

Another way to look at this is to realize that asking why is this world so imperfect isn’t the right question. Asking “how” can we tell this world isn’t perfect reveals much more.

Around 200 years ago, atheistic philosophers tried in earnest to assert the existence of evil and suffering disproves God’s existence. Not anymore, they realize that doesn’t add up. Logically speaking, evil doesn’t disprove God or His goodness.

You might still be asking: Why isn’t this world better or perfect? What if there is an otherworldly perfection God wants us to long for, and this stage of our existence is like the appetizer but eternity is the actual main course? We all need to ask, what if this life is not all there is?

By this point, you might’ve wondered to yourself, why would I conceptualize a chicken we could milk over conjuring up in my mind a cow that laid eggs. That’s simple. Could you really find room in the fridge for eggs if they came from a cow...?

Antisocial media

Certainly we are not the first generation of people to disagree with each other.  I'm sure we are not the first to have strong opinions, and we are not the first to stoop down to name-calling with those who hold different views.  But it does seem with the advent of social media, the ease in which we condescendingly attack other people and the aggressive way we attack them personally, not just their ideas/views, has exploded. 

What doesn't make sense to me, lately, is how we jump to character assassination these days.  The force of the vitriolic and bombastic language across social media between people who are basically the same in most ways, save their views on certain topics, is deeply disturbing. 

Sadly, Social media has become an Antisocial outlet for mean-spirited and hateful people. 

Basically, what we're becoming is a culture of super-critical people who hide behind our keyboards or smartphone screens, practicing emotional drive-by-shootings.  I have no idea what people think they are accomplishing when they slam other people so harshly on social media? 

If you disagree strongly with someone on politics, religion, or what-have you, insulting them and attempting to degrade them on social media doesn't actually address the subject you disagree on.  Instead, it makes you look insecure, highly negative, less credible, and rather immature.  Trying to get your point across doesn't have to be a competition of who whines & cries the loudest, or who has the best put-downs. 

I have no problem with dialog or debate, and I'm not even proposing that people can't voice disagreements on social media, I'm not the Facebook Police...  The only way we become certain of what we believe and the best way to learn, is to compare and contrast our ideas.  I can get along with people who hold different views and I try hard not to base my friendships or my civility on the opinions of other people.  We don't have to see everything the same or agree on everything, but we should learn to agree to disagree with a little less mudslinging and a lot more honor and integrity. 

How can we help without hurting?

Daily, we observe listless transients, hoisting scraps of cardboard emblazoned with slogans like, “Anything will help -- God bless!” Kingsport’s ubiquitous homeless community migrates well beyond our downtown, so it’s not hard to bump into them, you’d have to purposely avoid them if anything. Considering that the homeless network regionally, have we attracted even more here because of our reputation?

What should you do about the plight of these poverty-stricken people and how responsible are you for their well being? Has our generosity proved ineffective at improving their plight? Moreover, can our efforts to help vagrants actually hinder their development?

What happens when we ignore the principle of Give a man a fish, feed him for a day? Similar to how rocking horses experience movement without ever going anywhere, have we unintentionally swapped progress for motion?

Such questions might sound counterintuitive, if not sacrilegious. Responding could prove more complicated than you think, considering how rapidly this dilemma is metastasizing.

Jesus’ response to this predicament didn’t promote laziness or inactivity (anymore than His sacrificial death promotes sin). He helped people and moved on. Jesus certainly wasn’t callous but He wasn’t fixated on poverty, nor was He ever hoodwinked. For example, when a certain crowd tracked Jesus down all the way from Galilee to Capernaum, He confronted their improper motivations, “Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves.” (JN 6:26 ESV)

Sadly, swindlers fleece the hospitable without intending to improve, and opportunists will repeatedly take advantage of anyone’s generosity. If getting conned is the extent of our involvement with the homeless, are we guilty of “enabling” them through poor stewardship?

Am I saying we shouldn’t help out? Not at all. Read Matthew 25:31-46, it offers a vibrant reminder of the value Jesus places on having benevolent hearts. In this parable, Jesus separates the sheep from the goats based on their responses to real needs. One set of people inherits God’s eternal Kingdom, the other set is exiled into eternal fire.

The damned in this parable aren’t punished for hurting people, instead, a careful reading reveals Hell is the consequence of their apathy. Notice, those rewarded with eternal life didn’t “earn” their salvation by doing good works.

They all appeared clueless as Jesus described their activities, their consistent response to feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc. was, “When, when when... when did we/didn’t we do this?” Were they contradicting Jesus, did they have amnesia, or was there something so seamless about helping others/neglecting others that it was simply “second nature” for them?

How do we know if our motives to help are “second nature” --or are we merely trying to alleviate guilty feelings from living a more privileged life? Analyze how much distance we purposely keep between our lives and theirs the rest of the week. It takes authentic personal, in depth connections and purposeful interactions with the folks we are trying to help to transcend just “feeling good about ourselves.”

It comes down to rejecting compartmentalization, restoring their dignity, and focusing on equipping them. You see, it’s one thing to maintain a sterile distance from those who are less fortunate while helping them at arm’s length. It’s quite another to learn their names, to know their stories, while teaching them to read, get their GED, to write a resume, find a job, get sober, or to meet Jesus...

Remember, Jesus healed people, fed people, raised people from the dead, cast out their demons, and more, as proof of His divinity -- once people believe in Who He is, they can believe in Him. Ultimately, He focused on rescuing people from the darkness and bringing them into the light, i.e., incarnationally transforming lives.

It’s tough balancing good intentions with common sense, but whatever we do, let’s avoid perpetuating helplessness. Supporting people without nurturing a culture of handouts/panhandling honors the Mission Jesus established.

What now? Whenever it comes to helping anyone out, ask: What’s the difference between touching someone’s life (feels good) and personally transforming them (does good), how do we overcome apathy, make lasting changes, and collaborate with folks who know what they are doing?

Thankfully, Kingsport has a cornucopia of well organized food-pantries, clothing-closets, and soup-kitchens. Having volunteered with a few of these organizations, I’ll attest to their place in our community -- the consistent work of the Salvation Army, the kitchen of Hope, Shades of Grace, Second Harvest food bank, and Broad Street Methodist is impressive. They aren’t alone, but they are very capable, going the extra mile in serving “the least of these.” I appreciate the hard work they’re doing and I encourage you to consider helping them financially, or by rolling up your sleeves alongside them as well.

If you’re feel led to do more, don’t reinvent the wheel, partner with those who are already hard at work. I’m not advocating abdicating your personal responsibility -- instead, amplify your effectiveness by joining with the people who are already active on the scene!

Why people don't take you seriously and what you can do about it

Ever feel like the Surgeon General's warning label?  Gas pumps, cigarette packages, wine bottles, all carry warning labels that receive about as much attention as the stewardess who instructs us on how to buckle our lap-belt before takeoff.  Why, you might wonder, do our claims fall on deaf ears when we are so certain of the facts?

Have you ever felt like the boy who cried wolf?  Probably not.  At least, we wouldn't willingly compare ourselves to anyone who exaggerates or makes up a story just to be heard.  The reality is, most people when they hear you complain, disagree, take an opposing stance, or voice an unpopular view, they unknowingly attribute a degree of discrimination as they listen to your claims.

In other words, you lose credibility the moment you differ with most people.
Once you say what they don't want to hear, they don't take you seriously.

Why is it that people don't take us seriously?
For starters, no one wants to think their opinion is mistaken.  We don't enjoy being wrong.  We don't like it when others point out flaws in our thinking, and when they do, we get upset and begin to protect our point of view.  And the best way to protect ourselves is to subconsciously discredit the person who disagrees with us.

Another obstacle to communicating our ideas stems from our presentation.  The louder we yell, the more they will close their ears, metaphorically speaking.  Emotional outbursts are the quickest way to turn off our audience.  We like movies that make us cry, but we get really uncomfortable when the people around us lose control of their emotions.

And why are emotions detrimental if you want to be taken seriously?  Projecting your emotions, right or wrong, seems manipulative to most people.  We feel like we are being sold something we don't want when people are overly emotional.

Another reason people hesitate to take us seriously is when we parrot unoriginal perspectives.  If you mostly quote other people or stand behind the views of a Party stance, you lose credibility.  People want to know what you think, not what a faceless crowd stands for. 

What else gets in our way? When your message contradicts your methods, people will reject you and your perspective.  If you constantly eat fast food and yet complain about a society of unhealthy people, no one will listen to you.

What can we do to gain an open minded audience?
Whenever we try to influence others, passionately, our body-language gives off signals that others interpret as manipulation.  Therefore, quit trying so hard to convince people you are right and they are wrong.  Accept the fact that as you present your ideas, the other person might not agree with your ideas, which relaxes you, and when you are relaxed, people can let their guard down.

The moment a conversation moves from a dialog to a debate, it becomes adversarial, debates require winners & losers and no one likes to lose.  The less defensive another person is, the more likely they are to consider our point of view.  Simply put, the more pressure we apply, the more they will resist us. 

If you truly want people to take you seriously and be swayed by your ideas, it comes down to this: Be consistent, be genuine, be honest, be yourself, and be willing to be proved wrong.