Friday, December 13, 2013

Lukewarm marriages lead to pain, so make yours sizzle!

I heard this song today and it inspired a few thoughts on marriage.
BTW: You don't have to be a Country & Western music fan to appreciate the wisdom within this song.

I know that I'm not the perfect husband, but I will always strive to express my affection and appreciation to Tammy.  I'm thankful for a wife who doesn't hold me to a standard of 100% perfection.  It is no secret, anyone who knows us, knows she's my best friend and I enjoy spending more time with her than anyone else.  After over 25 years of marriage, she still excites me and we laugh together often.  I can't even imagine life without her.

Sadly not everyone is happy in their marriage, I know, I've worked with dozens of couples over the years.  Some people can't imagine life going on with their spouse.  Too many people, it seems, either take their spouse for granted or for some unknown reason harbor resentment and contempt.  After months or years of this, they wonder why their marriages suffer.

I'm sorry if this describes you.  This is not a judgment or slur.  It might be a time to rethink things before it's too late.

How can you find happiness, or find it again?

  • Being kind, loving, and avoiding selfishness are worth it, if you want a healthy love life.  
  • Try to complement more than you complain.  
  • Really think about it before you criticize. Is this really the hill to die on?
  • Try hard to meet your spouse's needs, as hard as you would hope they would try to meet yours.
  • People crave acceptance and the permission to occasionally fail.  So exhibit the same grace you need.
  • If you & your spouse don't know how to communicate or deal with conflict, get help.
  • (Please read that last line again)
  • Spend time together.
  • Eat your meals together.
  • Laugh together.
  • Remember your vows.
  • Effort never hurt.  We tell our kids to work hard on their homework, so let's work on our home life.
  • If you don't know where to start, start with being more polite and use "please & thank you"

Remember, you are always setting an example for your children.  So good or bad, our children will more than likely imitate the attitudes and actions they see in mom & dad.  And, don't distance yourself emotionally when you are angry or in troubled time --someone somewhere will fill that gap quicker than a pop song...

May you have a love life with your spouse that's so strong, wild horses couldn't drag you away!

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