Do we really practice what we preach?

Recently I had a conversation with someone who was recently divorced. Their marriage was in rough shape for many years, and regrettably, there were many mistakes made by both spouses. The person I spoke with said, “You probably think I’m a horrible person. I know what people are saying about me.” I assured them even though I had heard the stories going round, I didn’t think they were a bad person.

I shared that after all of my many years of being in ministry and after thousands of hours of counseling people, I know that in those situations no one is fully to blame and no one is fully innocent. I responded that I have the ability to withhold judgment and that I can form my own opinions. I referenced the woman caught in adultery in John chapter 8 and pointed out the way Jesus handled that situation.

The whole conversation got me thinking. Are we truly like Jesus or do we lean towards being more like the Pharisees, who we can’t stand? After reflecting on that long conversation, I wondered: How well do our churches welcome spiritually wounded people? Would we accept the woman the crowd wanted to stone, or would we have judged her? How do we view and respond to people who blatantly sin?

Could your church really embrace someone with a tainted reputation? What about you, personally, could you? How do you view people who stumble and fall? Do you look down on them harshly, feel superior to them, or simply shake your head in disgust? Or, can you truly love on them the way they need to be loved?

It’s easy to deceive yourself, assuming to yourself that you offer grace as much as you believe in grace. And it’s easy to say you are non-judgmental. It’s another story to practice all of that. Almost everyone thinks they are more grace-centered than they are. So, how can you tell if you really are a person who extends more grace than criticism?

For starters, grace oriented people do not see the world in terms of “Us and them.” It’s all “Us.” We are all basically the same, despite our many differences. The moment you begin the separate yourself mentally from the riffraff and the more you see the faults in others, the less grace is truly reigning in your heart. Have you ever asked yourself, how was Jesus mistaken for a drunkard and glutton and are people ever confused about you because of the people you associate with? Jesus never loved from a distance, why do we think we can?

Also, people who have more grace than others do not feel the need to correct other people. If your first thought when you see someone struggling is to think through what advice you could offer, you probably are unintentionally judging them. People need acceptance more often than they need advice. Is there a place for advice and correction? Sure. But your advice is not a starting point when others are down. A listening ear, a warm hug, and friendly smile can often do more than all of the “right answers” we might offer.

In the story of the prodigal son, do you know what the real difference was between the father and the older brother? The older brother was more interested in comparing while the dad was deeply interested in connecting. The telltale sign of the judgmental person who thinks they are grace-centered is how often they compare others to themselves and them feel better about themselves afterwards.

I feel a bit jaded by most church-goers. We can quote the Bible, have a ready answer, and basically be know it alls -- while doing very little. And when it comes to being able to help people who have been drug down by sin, we keep our hands as clean as we keep our distance. In other words, we know all about how Jesus ministered, in our head, but our hearts are hard. I wonder what would happen if we let Jesus swing the gavel or wear the judge’s robe for awhile and we just picked up the servant’s towel for now?

Liberation from sin: Name the secret, break the power

You know right from wrong, and you know the grip certain sins can have on you personally. Sin is fun, often quite enjoyable. I don’t have to list out here every gory sin for you, but it should be no surprise that sin can become all-consuming. Sin, just like quicksand, seemingly sucks us in the more we fight it. Is there any hope, especially the deeper we sink into the sin that has engulfed us?

On top of the fact that we find our sin pleasurable, as you already know, sin can embarrass us. Which is why we usually hide our sinful activity from those who matter to us. Whether you’re skimming money off the top, hooked on pornography, or neck-deep in an affair, I doubt you are posting anything about it on Facebook for your family to see. Therefore, the last idea that pops in our mind is telling someone about our sin-struggle. Yet, telling someone you trust is actually one of the most important steps you can take to find freedom.

What we need most is the thing we usually avoid, which is why what James writes in 5:16 seems counterintuitive, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” Why/how does this awkward step of confessing our sin make a difference?

Naming the secret breaks its power over us. Satan traffics in secrecy and humiliation. Satan uses lies and manipulation to keep us enslaved. Verbalizing our sin to another unshackles us from the hold it has on us. How does telling others our dirty little secrets help? We, normally, don’t want to disappoint those we care about. By telling them what we've been up to, they have an opportunity to encourage us, advise us, and keep us accountable.

Confession isn’t about rule-keeping, it’s about being supported by like-minded people who want the best for each other. James says it’s about being honest with other believers who will pray for us, intercede for us, strengthen us. Satan wants to alienate us, so he whispers in our ear “if they really knew what you were into...” Don’t fall for that.

Confession doesn’t deepen our shame, it erases it. Most people share similar struggles, like I Cor 10:13 states, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man....” Therefore, when we reveal what we are trapped in, others can empathize, since many people have had one type of struggle or another. In other words, nearly everyone understands where you are too.

Just like the way mold thrives in dark damp corners, sin grows when it’s hidden. Which is why bringing sin into the light is vital. Consider what Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:7-14, “7 Therefore do not become partners with them; 8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. 13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 14 for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

Compare this to what we read in John 3:19-21, “19 And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. 20 For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. 21 But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.”

Dreaming your sin problems will go away on their own, putting off addressing it, and thinking you can control this on your own is simply delusional. Whatever darkness that is swallowing you up alive, you need to tell someone who loves you, someone you trust, someone who will pray with you and for you. Please remember, when you name the secret you break its power, and when you break its power you will find freedom. May you be healed and whole, and enjoy the blessings of fellowshipping with other imperfect people who stumble but don’t give up either.

Discovering God in chicken's milk...

What’s more important than asking the age-old question, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” Asking, “Why can’t we milk a chicken?” is more valuable, if you ask me. I know, the scientific reason we can’t milk a chicken is due to the fact that biologically, chickens are birds, they aren’t mammals. Still, why can’t I have it all?

What started this line of questioning, for me? It occurred to me while I was eating my cheese-covered scrambled eggs: If only we could milk chickens, they would be the perfect breakfast-producing-animal ever. This in turn got me thinking about the point some atheists make when they try to refute the existence of God, that being, this creation we inhabit isn’t perfect. Because as they assert, if a perfect God created the world, why are there imperfections all over the place?

That’s a fair question. Why isn’t this world a utopia? Why can’t I fly like a bird and breathe underwater like a fish, and then drive my car when flying or swimming is inconvenient? Why do we have unmet expectations, and why aren’t all of our desires fulfilled? Why do we have so many limitations and problems?

We could respond, the Garden of Eden was perfect before mankind sinned. But then people could ask, why were the first people allowed to sin and mess it all up? How did that slippery serpent sneak into the garden anyway? Still, even in the Garden of Eden, we couldn’t milk our chickens..., so Eden wasn’t quite a utopia.

But, doesn’t the Bible say everything was perfect when God finished creation? Not really. Several times at the conclusion of each day of creation we read, “it was good,” and on the last day of creation we read, “it was very good.” Yet nowhere do we read it was a “sublime heavenly perfection.” It’s the material universe, and it is very good, but this realm leaves plenty of room for the perfect.

Recognizing imperfections requires a standard of what perfection could be. This follows the same line of reasoning that the existence of evil and suffering points us eventually to a loving God. I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but think through the implications. To say there is evil is to recognize there is good. Yet, a material universe can’t solely account for this understanding or provide a standard of good/evil. Therefore, when we are offended by evil, injustice, or wrongdoing, it’s because there is a universal sense of good. Just what is the source of that good? It must be a supernatural source providing our standard.

Another way to look at this is to realize that asking why is this world so imperfect isn’t the right question. Asking “how” can we tell this world isn’t perfect reveals much more.

Around 200 years ago, atheistic philosophers tried in earnest to assert the existence of evil and suffering disproves God’s existence. Not anymore, they realize that doesn’t add up. Logically speaking, evil doesn’t disprove God or His goodness.

You might still be asking: Why isn’t this world better or perfect? What if there is an otherworldly perfection God wants us to long for, and this stage of our existence is like the appetizer but eternity is the actual main course? We all need to ask, what if this life is not all there is?

By this point, you might’ve wondered to yourself, why would I conceptualize a chicken we could milk over conjuring up in my mind a cow that laid eggs. That’s simple. Could you really find room in the fridge for eggs if they came from a cow...?