Suicidal? you're never alone

I know this time of year isn't easy for many people.  If you are, and this isn't to be morbid, feeling less than positive about life, please know you are never alone.  Never.  

I felt like this was a good time to share my personal struggles again, not that I'm sad or struggling today.  But it came to my attention that it might be helpful to be vulnerable and share what goes on in my own mind.

Recently I had a conversation with a good friend I've known since grade-school, this friend confessed their dark struggles and thought I couldn't possible understand.  I shared how periodically there are times I ask Tammy to hide my guns for a while.  

My friend said they had no idea about my own dark struggles, after all it seems like I have "it all together."  I do have a great marriage.  We have great friends who love us.  We live in a beautiful home.   We are doing good.  We have a successful business.  I preach in a loving church.  On the outside my life looks pretty good, and it truly is.  I'm extremally blessed, far beyond what I deserve.  

That doesn't change what goes on, on the inside.  There really is no rhyme or reason, no tangible triggers to depression and suicidal thoughts, at least in my experience.   

My friend who shared they were hurting asked me to promise that before I doing anything permanently fatal that I reach out them and talk.  I promised I would.  It's comforting to know others also grapple or battle with similar demons, and they care enough to say, "hey let me know before you do anything..." 

I don't have any answers or solutions to the problem of suicide.  Yet, for those who like me who walk a fine line between this life and the next, I really just wanted to encourage you, you really aren't alone in the struggle.  There are more people who understand your struggle than perhaps you know.  You aren't alone. 

 https://youtu.be/D9F244ztjxA (this is a song I resonate with when life seems bleaker than I'd like)  

Why are we so different than our families?

 

John Hurley and Ronnie Wilkins wrote a popular song about (what is perhaps the greatest church cliché ever), a wild preacher’s son. After Aretha Franklin originally turned it down, Dusty Springfield was the first artist to record it. Growing up as a preacher’s daughter, Franklin thought the song was disrespectful. After “Son of a Preacher Man” became a huge hit Franklin released her own version. The rest is, as they say, history.

Politics aside, a question we rarely ask is why do children often grow up to be completely different than their parents? Instead we are more interested in a corollary question: Why do people growing up in the same home with the same parents, in the same neighborhood, attending the same primary schools, receiving the same ethical instructions and values, turn out to be very different adults?

How can the same household simultaneously produce an atheist, an agnostic and a believer? What causes family members living under the same roof their entire childhood to grow up to be police officers, others pastors, while some end up as prison inmates? Why do some children grow up to be pacifists while their siblings retire from the armed forces? How can the same family produce a scholar and then a salesman, with an artistic child seated at the table with their analytic sibling?

Why, for example, did my wife and I get married as teenagers, but my only sibling, my older brother, wait until he was 33 to get married? How is it, of our four sons, one was completely disinterested in college, two started but left, and only one son graduated?

Can you think of anything more puzzling in this life than the question of sibling diversity? This question is probably as old as Cain and Abel. It seems like a combination of nature and nurture must play a role in developing our individualism. After all, it is within our human nature to seek out our independence and a desire to create our own unique identity. It also seems like the harder children are forced into a certain mold, the more they rebel against their parents.

What shapes our disposition and character more than our upbringing? Yet, children with the same upbringing are so different, what accounts for these changes?

Hopefully with a few years under their belt, parents adapt their parenting styles and gain better parenting skills. So yes, we parent our children differently over our years of parenting. Also as the years pass, different siblings in any given family are also exposed to a variety of cultural influences, a multitude of opportunities, and unexpected choices.

Then again, there is a lot of unanticipated envy and resentment when our children perceive favoritism among their siblings. Children can rebel out of spite, feeling their siblings were pampered while they themselves were overly punished. Other children happen to fall in with the wrong crowd.

Some are rescued by a godsend of a spouse.

Other than our parents, our friend circles are probably the strongest influence on our personal development. Consider Paul’s powerful warning in I Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good character/morals.” Yes birds of a feather do flock together.

The reality is, there are no carbon copies when it comes to our children — the same home that raised an addict can turn out doctors or school teachers. Also, there is no such thing as a foolproof formula for child rearing. We need to tread cautiously when we try to encourage other frustrated parents with the old “Train up a child in the way they should go...” phrase. Proverbs 22:6 isn’t a guarantee that if we parent properly our children will make all the best choices in life. Proverbs 22:6 is a principle for parenting, not a promise of perfection.

Life is unpredictable. Perhaps there is no satisfactory answer as to why one child grows up to be cowardly while the other is courageous or why one child is an athlete and the other is a bookworm. But I’m not sure the deepest mystery of the universe is “why” do our children grow up to be so different, compared to a much greater mystery to me. Namely, why does God give us free will in the first place?

Originally published here: https://www.timesnews.net/living/features/craig-cottongim-why-are-siblings-so-different/article_a2cc657e-770f-11ed-b4d9-43ba86d2d2f5.html?fbclid=IwAR3tQ1xdUwadnFoTiax828i6fsbIHnPEjhQ-oMgIc0kuZUvrHyh0SJhHah8

Fight for it

 

She was radiantly beautiful, and in that enchanting moment she literally was like a vision from a fairytale.  I was so honored to be officiating her marriage because she was the nearest thing to a daughter I ever had -- in fact for over 20 years I had hoped this special young woman would grow up one day to marry one of our sons.  And, when I saw her walking down the aisle as the audience stood in unison, I lost control.  

I’ve performed plenty of weddings but this was a first for me.  The preacher isn’t supposed to lose his composure and bawl like a baby at times like this.  But it was useless to fight the tears, I was so choked up I was powerless to continue.  I began to cry so hard that her mother beside me, her bridesmaid, handed me her handkerchief.  I turned my back, collected myself, and then turned back and haltingly I continued the wedding ceremony.  

Almost nothing can compare to the joy of such momentous days.  We still have their “save the date” magnet on our fridge.  Next month marks the two year anniversary of their special day.  But presently that young couple is completely separated and sadly they are preparing to get divorced.  

I’m not sure why, but around 50% of all marriages dissolve.  There are many factors and variables leading into a divorce, from career choices to our friend circles, to the input of key people in our lives.   

I heard long ago that going through a divorce is like “fighting a skunk in a phone booth.”  If divorce was categorized as a disease, it would be our greatest epidemic -- sadly, somehow we’ve normalized it.  

There's more heartache experienced through divorce than most any other monumental tragedy in life.  And if there are children, the heartaches continue -- custody issues, ball games, graduations, their marriages, arrival of grandchildren, holidays, the list goes on of where you are awkwardly in attendance with your Ex over and over again.  

And, on top of this pain which divorcees experience, there are too many judgmental churches who hypocritically stigmatize the divorced, treating those in failed marriages as if they are failures themselves.  Shame on us for making anyone feel ostracized -- talk about shooting your wounded!

As the church, we probably need to dedicate more time praying more for our families as a whole.  We are nothing if we are not Christians who nurture the family unit.  I don’t care how many needs we meet in our community, if we neglect our families our work is in vain.  

I believe that all married couples can realistically reconcile their differences and that if they want to strongly enough, they can avoid divorce and work through any struggles, but only if they want to.  I also know, if they don’t want to work out their problems, they won’t.   Marriage isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth fighting for.  It’s time for the church to stand up and fight.  

Originally printed in the Kingsport Times news 11/11/22

https://www.timesnews.net/living/features/craig-cottongim-marriage-is-worth-fighting-for/article_6674479a-4a5f-11ed-9aee-a3598401ba6f.html

 

The tale of the faithful crockpot

 

I can't complain, it's part of being a homeowner.  This month the blower motor went out on the air handler and between having it diagnosed, getting the part ordered and getting it installed we were without heat/AC for two weeks.  Mere days after that repair, just yesterday morning hours before our houseguests arrived, our garbage disposal ruptured and leaked water everywhere.  But not to be outdone, yesterday evening our hot water heater gave up the ghost, leaving our guests the joy of taking cold showers as they were the ones to discover we had no hot water.  

If only more appliances were as dependable as our old Crockpot.   The Crockpot pictured above has served us faithfully for well over 20 years.  We picked it up at the end of the last century in Springfield, MO on our way back to Jacksonville, IL after attending the Tulsa Soul Winning Workshop.  To this day we use it regularly, and if you know us well you might even recognize it.  

This old Crockpot has never let me down.  At the church in Jacksonville we had monthly potlucks, and I cooked dozens of cornedbeefs in those days.  I'd run to the fellowship-hall on Saturday night, set the Crockpot on low, and by time church was over Sunday, voila!  Here in Kingsport as well, the old Crockpot provided for many a potluck in our early days here.  And who knows how many meals we've cooked at home, or how many gallons of soupbeans we've cooked or meals shared over the years.

This old Crockpot has helped us bless others with the gift of hospitality numerous times, to many times to remember, and it has been a faithful standby for many homemade meals.  I only wish the folks who made our "slow cooker" could have made the rest of our appliances...

I know our recent inconveniences with failed appliances are nothing compared to the travails suffered from recent flooding in Southeast KY, or the pounding the folks took in FL from their recent hurricane.  And again, I'm really not complaining about these repairs, it's to be expected because nothing lasts forever.  I'm grateful for a roof over our heads, a warm bed to sleep in, plenty to eat, and that we have the resources to pay for our repairs when these things happen, God is good.

We are all in this together

I’d like to think I would do it differently if I could, but clearly you can’t go back. A friend of mine Randy uses a phrase weekly, and it helps me to have a better attitude going forward.

Regretfully, in my 20s & 30s I was more immature than I’d like to admit. Reflecting with some painful clarity, I cringe remembering how rude & arrogant I was -- I was cocky to say the least. Youth, strength, and talent can go to your head, messing with your heart. What I needed back then was a better perspective, a perspective I gained by returning to my roots in concrete and meeting Randy.

When I transitioned in my mid-40s from traditional full time pastoral work to planting a church, I entered a realm new to me by becoming bi-vocational. These last 11 years of my 28 years in ministry I have been in two worlds, so to say. I returned to the work I did before following the call to ministry, concrete construction, and the Lord has blessed our family beyond imagination as we minister and work in concrete simultaneously.

Strangely enough, I’ve learned more about people, myself, and my relationship with God serving bi-vocationally. And, I’ve met some wonderful people I never would have had I remained in traditional pastoral ministry, amazing people like Randy over at Summers and Taylor.

Randy is a dispatcher for a local concrete company, which means he and the team of dispatchers he works with deal with logistics. They schedule with contractors the delivery of the concrete, they coordinate with the batch plant, and the drivers. I talk to dispatch dozens of times weekly. Stressful isn’t a strong enough word for the job they do; their work is like a combination between being air traffic controllers and herding cats. The people they deal with and the responsibilities they carry are demanding. Yet, Randy has a perspective I’ve needed for years, and hearing him each week repeat his mantra helps me immensely.

By the way, you might not know it but the second most used commodity in the world is concrete, second only to water. As a building material, concrete is used twice as much as wood, steel, aluminum, and plastic all combined. Concrete is everywhere, in fact one could easily make an argument that our civilization itself rests on the durability of concrete. We have roads, water treatment plants, structures for industry and education, our very homes, and more, all dependent on the enduring strength of concrete.

As we try to strategize and schedule work, at least once a week Randy will say over the phone, “We are all in this together.” In other words, we are all doing the best we can, we all have challenges, we all need to be patient & understanding and let’s all do our best to cooperate -- like the old saying, “Teamwork makes the dream work.”

Most everyone we know is facing difficulties and trials. Life is hard and the more we see life as a competition, the more difficult we make matters -- this is true in our churches, homes, places of work, and our communities. Our Political system is probably the “best” example of how counterproductive competition in life is.

There’s a powerful metaphor mixed-up within the word “concrete.” Unpacking its etymology, “Con” meaning “together,” and “crescere” meaning “to grow up,” by deconstructing or taking apart the Latin combined to give us the word “concrete,” we get the captivating imagery of “growing up together.”

The Bible is filled with examples of how we grow transformationally, together. Spiritual maturity requires cooperation and mutual participation through a community. Consider Prov 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.” Here’s a “concrete” example from Eph 4:15-16, “15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.”

All too often we compete with others for status, attention, or position, and in doing so we fail miserably to reach our full potential. Life would be better all the way around if we could only learn to respect each other and cooperate more, that’s why I appreciate Randy’s phrase “We are all in this together.”

Elections/Upcoming Midterms -- Who should Christians vote for?

Every election cycle is portrayed as the most vital one to date; each new election cycle is hyped-up more than the last one. Americans are constantly being told that this is “the most important election ever in our Nation’s history.” We are cautioned, our “Liberty is at stake,” we are warned our “freedoms and way of life” are on the line -- this hyperbolic propaganda is repeated around the clock, all the while ignoring God's role in assigning positions of authority.

Yes, November 8th all 435 seats of the House of Representatives and 35 out of the 100 Senate seats are being contested, as well as our Volunteer State’s gubernatorial election. Should your church leadership tell you who to vote for? No. Should your church leaders tell you which political party to support? Never.

It is divisive to denounce any politician by name or to promote your political party from the pulpit. Ethically, your church leadership has no business telling you who you should vote for -- it is improper and perhaps even illegal for church leaders to tell you who you should vote for.

Our way of voting is rather new. The Bible was written in the historical context of monarchies and Theocratic imperialism. If you search your Bible forever you won’t find the words “Democratic elections” or “Voters rights.” Instead, we read:

“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, 2 for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.” (I Timothy 2:1-2)

“Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.” (Romans 13:1-2)

“Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, 14 or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. 15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. 16 Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. 17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.” (I Peter 2:13-17)

In other words, from these three passages, it is not up to us to establish the political leadership. It is our obligation to be submissive to political leaders and to pray for them, regardless of whether we agree or disagree with them.

Could your church, can your church, teach you how to vote like a Christian? Yes, they can and should. The pulpit isn't the place to shame or coerce people into voting your party’s way, instead churches should help their congregations learn how to vote like Christians.

How could Christians vote more faithfully? For starters we should pray for guidance from God, and then be willing to pray for all of our political leaders, even the ones we disagree with after they take office. As a matter of conscience, we should prayerfully consider casting our votes carefully. Secondly, I do believe our voting is based on character and principles, the person in office matters as much as their proposed policies.

As you ponder who to vote for in November, consider Jesus’ response to Pilate’s interrogation in John 18:36-37, “36 Jesus answered, “My kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world, my servants would have been fighting, that I might not be delivered over to the Jews. But my kingdom is not from the world.” 37 Then Pilate said to him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.”

Our churches have an obligation to guide us to live faithfully, even in a world rife with political corruption -- we are blessed today with unimaginable freedoms that allow us to participate in our elections, this serious obligation is not to be taken lightly. Ultimately, as we vote, we must consider, our kingdom isn't of this world, “But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ...” (Philippians 3:20)

Just another hater?

 

Maybe God nudged you, maybe you studied your way out, maybe you just got tired of it.  You moved past hating and judging churches you disagreed with as a child.  You realized the Kingdom was bigger than your little group.  But, have you traded your Pharisaical card in for a Sadducees card?  

The question is, who are you hating or judging these days, or have you really moved on from your roots?  Who is the target of your contempt & distain, or have you given up on trying to fix everyone else and you are ready to get to work on the real need for change, you, changing yourself?  

It's easy to think we are progressing and growing spiritually, when in reality all we have done is traded or exchanged the set of people we are critiquing.  Judging is judging, shaming is shaming, it doesn't matter if your scorn is aimed at the people outside your circle of believers or at the people who look and act just like you do.  

Harsh, critical, condemnation, dished out smugly is still ugly & unloving no matter who you're aiming it at.  Simply shedding ultra-conservative fundamentalism only to hate & condemn people stuck in their supposed ignorance isn't progress, it's procrastination  -- it's holding on to our immature feelings of superiority, the ones we tried hard to run from in the first place.  

Who you complain about the most says a lot about your state of mind.  Don't "grow up" to be just another hater.  

Embrace this simple key to happiness

 

In this picture you see cat paw prints, prints that once angered me greatly.  Tammy and I have done a few decorative concrete projects at our home, and in this case, as I applied a broomed texture to our colored concrete sidewalk, our outdoor-stray cat hopped off the porch and tramped across the wet concrete walk, forever leaving her prints -- in that moment of anger I may have said a few words I'm not proud of.  

Anger results from feeling weak/vulnerable, feeling like we have no control over the situation.  Over time, unresolved anger does more damage to us than the problem that angered us did. 

Today as I blew the early fall leaves off our walk, seeing those cat prints made me smile.  Why?  I have no idea.  But today it felt funny seeing her prints.  Seeing those silly little paw prints brought a little bit of joy to me.  I paused from blowing leaves for a moment and soaked in the healing.

Strangely, with time we can laugh at our mistakes, hurtful offences, and the past pain we've suffered.   The key to happiness isn't saying too soon we are at peace with the pain, or making light of the problem that wounded us.  That would be denial, and that is unhealthy.  

You can't rush acceptance.  But, you shouldn't deny its presence when acceptance knocks on your heart's door either.  

The key to happiness is embracing the laughter and easy feelings when they do hit us, don't fight the joy, embrace the laughter when it comes.  It's natural to be defensive and to try to hold tightly to your unique pain, as any victim would.  Embrace the acceptance in the moment, and you'll be happier.  

I don't do this enough, but I'm learning to let myself laugh at what once made me angry.  I encourage you to give it a try.  

What's expected when outsiders move in

Much has changed over the years since my dad fled the impoverished mountains of Southeast Kentucky, along with a generation of disillusioned Appalachians who crossed the Mason-Dixon searching for work. The promise of industrial jobs offering higher standards of living lured tens of thousands away to Cincinnati, Chicago, and Detroit.

More people participated in that mass-exodus than any other migration of Americans in our Nation’s history. The path north from Appalachia was dubbed “The Hillbilly Highway.” When my dad landed in the Chicagoland area he and many others were not welcomed with open arms. Slurs, altercations, and alienation left them feeling unwelcomed, to say the least.

It’s funny how life often comes full circle. Now that our region is on the radar of people who once rejected hillbillies with the same hateful vitriol as any form of racism our Nation has known, we are presently their prime destination.

Here in Tennessee, Nashville isn’t the only area being inundated, every week there are multiple families moving into the Tri Cities from California, Illinois, New York, and other such places. They are attracted to our lower-priced real estate, absence of a State income Tax, and other great incentives. My wife and I moved our four sons here nearly 20 years ago for many of the same reasons -- this is a great place to raise children.

Change is hard & intimidating, especially unsolicited change -- the problem today is, as we are being flooded with outsiders moving in, many here are worried about their politics/liberal values. Worst yet, we wearily wonder, how will their presence influence change here in our area?


Our region is known for being suspicious of outsiders, and rightly so. Read, if you haven't already, Harry Caudhill’s 1960’s, “Night comes to the Cumberlands.” The book vividly describes in painful detail how the Appalachian region has historically been depleted, taken advantage of, and plundered by outsiders.

I’m confident the influx and steady flow of people moving in will not slow down. In fact I expect what we’re experiencing to increase as word continues to get out. The new casino opening up, large tracts of land on the market, steady employment here, not to mention how beautiful the mountains are around here all lead us to ask: How should we respond to this massive arrival of new people/what’s really required of us now more than ever?

We have an opportunity to share our slower pace of life (Yes, as an expatriated northerner I can now say ours, it only took about 5 years to feel enculturated and at “home” here). We can influence these latest outsiders with some of the traditions we are known for here, like family values and strong church ties. We can and should take advantage of these opportunities to share the Good news of Jesus and help change lives -- after all these people came here to escape lifestyles and locations they didn’t like.

Our real challenge today? To practice Biblical Hospitality. We now have unprecedented opportunities to love new neighbors like never before -- here’s a helpful passage worth reflecting on for all of us, “8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace” (I Pet 4:8-10)

The allure of trolling on Social Media

There are some gift speakers, thinkers, and writers who somehow have the ability to consistently generate fresh ideas.  Then, some less talented people who can sometimes blend other folk's ideas into something rather new & interesting.  Then, there's the group who wants to sound profound -- by tearing apart and critiquing everyone else: Trolls.

There's no stopping the trolls, but perhaps by ignoring them, they will lose what they feed on, attention.  They want the accolades, affirmation, and attention the truly creative people are gaining, and so much like a playground bully, they push their way into the fray.

I don't know why, but negativity seems easier to generate then productive content.  People are fault-finders by nature, I guess?

It's much easier to poke holes in an idea than it is to come up with a new idea.  For example, think of the preacher who pours 10-15 hours of preparation into a 30 minute sermon, only to be corrected at the conclusion of the day by someone who has never spoken publicly in their life, but they gleefully caught your one mistake.  The same can be true for a good post, well written article, or a good video.  Unpublished people who haven't "made it" somehow think they have the right to judge the rest, by tearing apart those ideas/people they are clearly jealous of.

The people who try so hard to sound profound, and are always critical of those who are creative/productive, mistakenly think they have audience when the rest of us interact with them.  They crave more attention and need more approval, they simply are going about it all wrong.  

It's hard to come up with new ideas, new perspectives, fresh content time & time again.  It's a lot easier to pick apart the thoughts and ideas other people post.  Do I feel sorry for the trolls?  Nope, not at all.  I feel sorry for the people who are vulnerable enough to share their creativity, only to have some hack slobbering bravely over their keyboard, just waiting to pounce.  

The problem with "Identifying" as what you aren't

                                                      (Timesnews religion column 4/29/22)

Imagine as you are being seated aboard a commercial flight a 14 year old passenger proclaims, “I’m a pilot. Show me to the cockpit, I’ll fly this plane.” Then, like a scene out of the Twilight Zone, the flight-crew accommodates this childish whim -- but none of the other passengers budge. Would you have the courage to deplane?

Speaking of flying, as a four year old I dressed up as Superman for Halloween. My costume was as comfortable as pajamas, and since I was only four, I wore it for days. Soon I went from pretending I was Superman, to believing I was. Eventually I asked my mom if I really was Superman; she indulged my immature imagination and said, “Yes, yes you are.”

Being an irrational four year old I wanted to fly, so I climbed to the top of our bunk-beds and called my mom to my bedroom. I said, “If I’m really Superman, then I can fly. Right?” Thankfully my mom had the sense to end my fantasy, “I wouldn’t try that if I were you.” she said.

Can we fabricate every outlandish transformation we desire? If I “identify” as a Pulitzer prize winning columnist, am I now entitled to be called one? What about those students supposedly identifying as “Furries?”

There was a false rumor circulating about a school board meeting with an agenda item for adding litter boxes to the school bathrooms for the students identifying as “furries.” In actuality, Michigan, Iowa, and Kentucky schools recently have reported situations with teenage students acting like cats and dogs, walking on all fours, barking and hissing at other students.

To any worried teachers: Perhaps you could “identify” as the Principal and forbid it, telling these students they need proof that their veterinarian vaccinated them for rabies, that animals do not receive driver's licenses, and there are leash laws. Perhaps add, being “furry” requires fur.

What happens when teenage students “identify” as school administrators and demand to start making their own rules? If we continue down this path, our classrooms won’t be far from Golding’s “Lord of the flies.”

When is enough, enough? How far will we go, how long will we indulge the fantasies of delusional people who claim to identify as something other than what they actually are? Why is this even important -- what’s at stake when society caters to these fraudulent identities?

We are embattled over objectivity, and our strongest weapon is the Truth. If we can erode confidence in objective reality then it becomes acceptable to say, “That’s your truth,” or, “That’s true for you, not for me.” If you can destroy objectivity, you either take away our ability or at least make it nearly impossible to make truth claims, such as, there is only One God and only one way to God — through Jesus. Jesus said, “I am the way, the Truth, and the Life.” Either He told the truth or He lied, He didn’t merely “identify” as a Messiah.

The battle for “identifying” as something other than what you are ontologically isn’t about personal choices, or being gender fluid, or living in a fantasy realm. It’s a distortion that leads towards destroying our civilization, not by personal choices that affect only an individual, but by forcing everyone to acquiesce to a total lie. These concessions weaken the Truth with a capital T -- continually violating our conscience is causing a crippling cultural cognitive dissonance.

Paul’s words in II Cor 10:3-5 seem more relevant now than ever, “3 For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. 5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ...”

These are not impolite, uncompassionate, or intolerant questions. These days, sharing our opinions about these matters is courageous. Some people will shame/bully Christians into silence, but we need to be able to dialogue about this. I do not want to take away anyone’s right to choose their identity or persecute Trans-people, I simply want the right to civilly voice our disagreements.

Honestly, medically speaking, if you examine a person scientifically you can deduce from their organ structure, skeletal structure, and DNA what species/gender they are — regardless of what the individual believes. Also, doctors do not “guess” a baby’s gender at birth.

Some will accuse us of hate speech. When the Emperor was showing off his new clothes, was it hateful to point out his lack of clothes? How long until we say enough is enough? If we are forced to agree that people actually are whatever they claim to be when in fact they aren’t, brace for impact -- our culture is in for a crash landing.

Faith: What atheists & Christians share

Dear atheists, not all Christians are judgmental -- dear Christians, atheists aren’t the enemy. It is April Fools' day and too many Christians will go on Social media today spouting that “April Fools' Day is the holiday for atheists.” I’m guessing there might be some banter going both ways for today’s “holiday.” Christians are called to a higher standard though.

Sadly, not all people who believe in Jesus act like Jesus and the critical ones are not great representatives of Christianity. Just because you believe Jesus is real doesn't make you a “believer,” especially when you misbehave acting like you are soooo much better than everyone else. You look desperate and it makes many atheists whom you put down look morally superior too.

The amazing existence of cognition & our conscious, the overabundance of our intelligence which exceeds far beyond the need to hunt/gather/reproduce, the information-rich sequencing of DNA, the “Goldilocks” positioning of our planet to the sun and our sun’s own Goldilocks position in our galaxy, and our galaxy being the right type to even allow life, these facts and others add up to more than an inexplicable cosmic coincidence to me -- something a random non-intelligent material universe alone cannot explain. On the other hand, why does God allow what He allows to go on here on earth and how exactly do you explain the idea of a God who has always existed, who can just speak the universe into existence, and who can be everywhere at every moment?

What’s the problem? A god who can be fully explained or totally understood wouldn't be much of a god to worship. Also, to say the universe simply sprang into existence, unguided, not only denies the first law of thermodynamics it’s an unsatisfactory answer as well. I get why there are doubts & doubters.

We all believe despite having doubts. To say we don’t believe in God isn’t to say we have no beliefs or we do not place our faith in anything. We either trust in the supernatural or the natural. Both the natural and the supernatural take a leap of faith, make no mistake about it.

We all believe in something, even the skeptic believes in their personal ability to discern facts from fables. The humanist, for example, believes in our autonomy, claiming mankind is the highest power for good in the universe. The Christian believes there’s eternally more to reality than what can be tested with our five senses, while the atheist believes there’s no need for & no such thing as “God.” Those poor souls known as agnostics really suffer -- they want to believe something but they can’t seem to find enough evidence one way or the other to believe in anything.

I have solid answers justifying my faith in God, ones that are way better than Darwinism for example, but if I’m not willing to admit I might be wrong about the whole idea of God, how can I expect an atheist to consider they might be wrong as well? Both camps seem to be lacking humility and an openness to alternate ideas. Maybe we are too busy talking over each other and not spending enough time listening to each other?

We are all doing our best to figure out this glorious experience called life and its complex mysteries, those who claim to believe in God and those who disbelieve in God. The world would be a better place if we stopped demonizing each other and we trusted each other’s motives in regards to matters of faith, both believers and nonbelievers. I trust logic & truth will prevail and I trust people when they say they are sincerely searching for answers -- it is foolish to live otherwise.

Originally published 4/1/22 Times News:

Should Christians carry firearms?

Created in God’s image, human life is necessarily precious. Death is irreversible — taking a life is a serious matter, under any circumstance. Should Christians carry firearms, owning guns not just for sport but for self-defense as well?

I asked a couple of friends in law enforcement about this topic. A former Kingsport police officer said, “In terms of gun ownership and use: There is no moral superiority to being a victim. Were we not called to protect the weak? If you believe so yet feel using firearms is immoral, what arbitrary standard are we using to determine what means are acceptable to use to defend the innocent? Certainly all reasonable means to avoid confrontation should be exercised; discretion is the better part of valor. But to suggest faith requires we not prepare to defend ourselves and others would be like not buying groceries to prove that God will provide (when he’s already provided you access to grocery stores and currency to make the purchase).”

A current Kingpsort policeman said, “Self-defense may actually be one of the greatest examples of human love. Jesus said, ‘Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends’ (John 15:14). When protecting one’s family or neighbor, a Christian is risking his/her life for the sake of others. I think this applies to police and military as well. And when Jesus said, ‘And let the one who has no sword sell his cloak and buy one.’ I think that can be applied today too. If Jesus was here today, he might say sell your watch and buy a gun. Also, I think Jesus’ command to ‘turn the other cheek’ has to do with our response to personal slights and offenses, not self-defense. Some situations may call for self-defense, but not retaliation.”

What about turning the other cheek? “But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.” Many assume turning the other cheek means never defending ourselves, remaining passive in the face of any threat — i.e., actions protecting ourselves resulting in their harm is sinful. Jesus actually teaches that turning for another slap requires them to slap you properly. They either backhanded your right cheek or slapped you with their left hand. Historically, their left hand was “unclean,” you weren’t allowed to touch people with your left hand back then; backhanding was undignified as well. Jesus is saying, “Treat me like an equal” during conflict.

If our premise is that the Bible forbids drastic defensive measures therefore I won’t shoot the bad guy, because if I kill him I will go to hell, we have placed more value on preserving our soul than protecting our family who God has entrusted to our care. Similarly, most people do not give a 10% tithe at church, but if you are willing to give 100% of what you have in your possession to a demanding thief, what does that tell us? Allowing evil people to harm you/your loved ones is not only cowardly, it is a poor stewardship plan.

Your family needs you. As a Christian, which is more responsible, protecting yourself and your loved ones or allowing wicked people to wreak havoc? How virtuous is it sparing a dangerous attacker from their own risked consequences in the face of an imminent threat?

Christianity is about love and peace or it’s nothing at all. We are to love as we have been loved, to forgive as we have been forgiven, we are called to imitate Jesus. Does this mean we allow evil people to rape our children or kill us — is it loving to idly stand by while thugs violently abuse our loved ones?

If you do not like guns, don’t own one, but let’s not twist the Scriptures to say that using guns for self-defense is sinful. It seems like a sick perversion of Scripture to teach that we should sit by idly watching harm befall our loved ones — it seems like your heart is more wicked than the rapist or the killer if you’re willing to sacrifice your family’s safety on the altar of self-righteousness.

I rarely leave our house unarmed, and I sleep with a .45 on my nightstand. Based on my understanding of the Bible I have concluded that carrying a firearm is actually virtuous and appropriate.

Christians do not carry guns to commit crimes or to promote violence, we carry our firearms to safely provide for and to protect those God has entrusted to our care.

Published originally in the Kingsport Times News:Click here to read original version

Is Joe Rogan an unlikely ally for the Church?

I know people are in a tizzy over a couple of Rogan's podcasts with two doctors and their divergent views on Covid, but more interesting to me was Rogan's interview with Peterson.

Everyone seems to be losing their minds over Joe Rogan’s interview of Dr. Jordan Peterson. Most people either have complete disdain for Rogan or the deepest admiration, and the same thing goes for Peterson — lately, social media is flooded with both. Like them or not, Rogan is one of the most influential entertainers of our day, and Peterson is arguably one of the most influential intellectuals of the day. So I was pleasantly surprised by one of their topics during their 4 hour and 13 minute interview.

We easily ignore the wackadoodle street corner preacher rambling on through his bullhorn, but if Rogan and Peterson weren’t so wildly popular I doubt this particular episode (No. 1769) would have garnered so much attention.

Remember, Spotify has handsomely rewarded Rogan for his popularity with a $100 million contract.

Watching this episode I noticed how a lethargic Rogan was slouched forward with huge bags under his eyes, looking like a high school wrestling coach who drank watered down coffee after a weekend at regionals. Peterson carried himself with pained looks, forced smiles and utilized “jazz hands’’ too often. Fidgeting around he looked like he wanted Rogan’s acceptance and approval more than Rogan wanted to give it. Actually, Rogan gave the impression he didn’t even want to be there — if you’ve seen his podcast before you’d agree it wasn’t spectacular. It was a rather lackluster performance on Rogan’s part.

The major critique by Rogan’s and Peterson’s naysayers is the massive amount of alleged “misinformation” being bantered about during their interview. Notice, their critics aren’t insisting that Rogan and Peterson are lying; it’s “misinformation.”

Why misinformation? Why is that the word of choice these days for people we don’t trust or disagree with?

You can’t go around and claim that there is no such thing as absolute truth or that truth can’t be known, or claim the truth is a social construct, etc., and also say that Rogan and Peterson are pedaling false information that isn’t true. You can’t complain about bending the truth if you diligently deny the existence of truth that corresponds to reality. Therefore you employ the phrase “misinformation.”

This is the result when culture tries to emasculate truth. How is this significant for us?

Jesus claimed He was the Way, the Truth, and the Life. God’s word is true. God’s people believe truth to be a vital part of the Christian belief system, and truth has been under attack for over a generation. Do you see now why cultural talking heads can’t say people like Peterson or Rogan are liars or are offering false information. It has to be couched cryptically in the meaningless phrase “misinformation.”

Peterson and Rogan had several “sacred cows” they wanted to turn into gourmet burgers, which I could take or leave, but the greatest reason I’m excited about this interview is that Peterson brings up the Bible with an audience of tens of millions of people listening in. Raising the topic of the Bible like this opens up wonderful opportunities for believers to talk about our faith.

Remember these are two of the most influential voices in today’s culture sitting down for an informal interview with tens of millions of people paying attention to their conversation, and Peterson defends the veracity of the Bible! It’s an amazing event, opening many opportunities for us to elaborate on the truth of the Bible, and point people to Jesus.

When was the last time you heard any celebrity or culturally influential person bring up the Bible with a positive light? Therefore I was captivated when Peterson highlighted the absolute significance of the Bible’s influence on all of today’s literature and how we think about life and truth.

Peterson described how the Bible is the foundational and fundamental document for all of Western civilization. He accurately elaborated on how the Bible isn’t simply a single book like the Book of John but a library, a collection of books. Peterson directed and redirected the conversation to point out and clarify that he defended the Bible, affirming the Bible as the source of wisdom and truth — this type of approval and endorsement of the Bible and truth is unheard of in our postmodern relativistic culture. It’s no wonder people are ripping Peterson to shreds and exerting such efforts to discredit him.

These recent attacks on Rogan’s podcast really come down to who controls the flow and the content of the information that’s disseminated. It’s a power play. Why should this be on our radar? How we disseminate information is at stake.

Critics who would like to silence Rogan or Peterson usually end up being silenced or discredited shortly, and rightly so. Not because either Rogan or Peterson is an absolute expert in his field, but these are two of the most influential voices who are rare because they believe there is truth and people should be able to say what they think is true. They are rare because they are defending the right to truth in a world that has tried its best to jettison truth for far too long.

The church needs defenders of truth now more than ever. Without truth, it’s hard to say all roads don’t lead to Rome, or that what Jesus claimed about this life and the next is true for all people.

Originally published in the Kingsport Times News:

https://www.timesnews.net/news/faith/the-church-needs-defenders-of-truth/article_6c90abe6-6f04-11ec-8433-4f16d7fe28b5.html 

Can you afford the high-price of fitting in? The real cost of peer pressure

Peer pressure. Remember how we used to warn our children about its dangers or how we’d scold them for caving to peer pressure? Just look at us now.

The ugly truth is, peer pressure is pervasive. Actually, most churches aren’t free from its entanglements either. For example, while churches certainly depend on your generosity, passing an offering plate during the worship service sure feels like peer pressure. This is benign compared to what else is going on these days.

Consider the depths to which peer pressure has influenced us over the past few years: Which comedians you can/cannot laugh at. Which musicians you can/cannot listen to. Which actors and actresses are/are not acceptable. Which candidate you should/shouldn’t vote for. Which scientists you can/cannot challenge/question.

We are seeing too many people stigmatized simply because they disagree with whatever is culturally acceptable for the day, while others who are grasping for power are forbidding discussions over several vital contemporary topics. If this goes on much further, I literally see book burnings in our future.

The problem with caving to peer pressure is that we begin to parrot positions we actually distrust or disagree with. Like the old saying, “All it takes for evil to win is for good people to do nothing,” we find ourselves complicit in perpetuating deception. We are allowing dishonesty to rule the day if we comply with positions we never actually agreed with. This seems to break one of the Ten Commandments, something about “Thou shalt not lie ...”

Truth, facts, rational/logical thinking, these all go by the wayside whenever we allow peer pressure and groupthink to rule over us. We are allowing the loudest voices to steamroll over our better judgments. Somehow, a minority has been allowed to amplify their message, and in order to experience unity or gain acceptance, many of us have complied with ideas that deep down inside we disagree with.

Why? Many of us are scared. We are afraid to offend. We are afraid of conflict. We are afraid to rock the boat. Most of all, we fear retribution. This isn’t how we were meant to live.

We are to live courageously. “Do not fear” is the most repeated phrase in the Bible — it’s recorded at least 365 times in Scripture. How does peer pressure work? Mainly though fear. Fear of being left out. Fear of humiliation. Fear of rejection. Therefore, whenever fear is the driving factor, as believers we ought to be suspicious, take notice, and be cautious. This is especially true when fear is what’s driving the peer pressure itself.

It is unhealthy to shame and bully people into submission. Guilt, shame and embarrassment are horrible motivators. Action based on the goal of avoiding the judgmental misgivings of others is what textbook manipulation looks like, but that’s how peer pressure operates.

What is on the line, presently? For starters we are in danger of arrested development — no one grows or matures in an echo chamber. Also, many of our freedoms — the freedom of expression, the freedom to choose for ourselves and our freedom to express our individual identities — are all at risk.

Worst of all, we are at risk of losing our integrity.

Dear friends, we serve a mighty God. Let us start this New Year with integrity and may we live courageously.

  Published in the Kingsport Times-News: https://www.timesnews.net/news/faith/peer-pressure-is-pervasive-even-in-churches/article_89816122-5916-11ec-8dc2-1bc4e50fadcd.html